I’ve fallen for this super sweet guy, he is amazing, he can take it when I mess with him and he gives it right back, when I had a seizure he took the time to stay by my side and to make sure I was ok and then he carried me all the way up to the hospital and waited with me all day just to make sure me and the baby where ok. He’s not even the babies father but that doesn’t stop him and I love it!! The baby’s father is incarcerated and tried playing me and this other girl at the same time. But this time I’ve fallen for a man not a boy. He said it was just lust for him but I know it’s more he’s just scared of hurting me which I understand and he’s also scared of being hurt. I just wish there was a way for me to show him that I don’t want to hurt him I want to give his heart a break I want to be the person he comes to when he needs to get something off his chest, for so long he’s been alone so I can see how it would be a big change for him. Any ideas? It saddens me when he pushes me out but I know it’s all fear because his last ex broke him and he hates talking about it but whatever she did she really did damage. I’m determined not to give up on him because I can see he is a good man and I’m not used to it I’m not used to how gentle he is with me I’m not used to the way he talks to me and wants to know my opinion on things.. I’ve been in so many un healthy relationships such as abuse in ever way shape and form to the point to where I have no idea what I’m doing now that I’ve found a healthy relationship.
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While I understand working on yourself to be better for those around you, especially your unborn child..I am extremely concerned that you would continue to be around someone who is abusive towards you. Please if you aren’t going to think about your well-being, think of the well-being of your unborn child. No one deserves to be abused, even if it’s something you are “used to”.
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@kittycupcake, I understand that, but what you have described is abuse plain and simple. If he “snapped” once, chances are that it will happen again..those are the cold, hard statistics. IMO you need to re-evaluate the relationship and what you REALLY want in a partner. I will keep you in my prayers.
@jenzuniga, Somtimes people snap no one is perfect and he hasn’t put his hands on me since and we live together.
While I understand working on yourself to be better for those around you, especially your unborn child..I am extremely concerned that you would continue to be around someone who is abusive towards you. Please if you aren’t going to think about your well-being, think of the well-being of your unborn child. No one deserves to be abused, even if it’s something you are “used to”.
@ksal9028, That’s what we are doing lol. That’s why we’re taking a break and figuring our selves out first before anything else.
@kittycupcake, ok. We’ll await your next post from a hospital bed cause that’s where you’ll be heading at some point if you stick with this piece of shit.
@wafflespancakes, It’s not as bad as it sounds and I swear he really isn’t like that.
If you don’t do it for yourself, do it for your unborn baby. Why would you want to raise your child around that kind of aggression? Please don’t be stupid. Leave him.
@kittycupcake, WOW. Re read your last statement. You sound like a seasoned domestic violence sufferer. You do realize he could have ended up in jail after that, right? What you’ve described is ABUSE. Get away from this guy. You deserve better. A real man doesn’t put his hands on you. No matter what.
He physically hurt you while you’re pregnant and actually told you that he’s afraid he’ll hurt you again. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? This is a major red flag. RUN.
@cams, Physically he was just super aggressive and because I’m pregnant It doesn’t take much to hurt or leave marks on my body. He left a bruise on my breast. I have been abused before but he really isn’t like that.
@unagie, He apologized to me and we are taking time apart currently to figure out ourselves and what we both want and need. Even his best friend told me he beat himself up over it and it really bothered him. He is a good man he’s just confused about what he wants and who he is right now. The people that know him better then I do said he’s not like that and to give him another chance. He is def worth it I just need to be patient.
@kittycupcake, how do you mean hurt you? Physically? Verbally?
@kittycupcake and he'll get triggered again. Excuse making is classic abuser behavior. Take it from someone who's been there. He'll do it again. You want that around your child?
@kittycupcake no no no. Black out drunk as an excuse. He hurt you. Stay away.
@veemitchell, He’s not like that though he said he just got triggered by something. But he has never done that before.
@veemitchell, @cams, I do believe him and we agreed to take our time. When he were first together things went really well until he got drunk and blacked out on me and he hurt me a lot. Things havnt been the same since which is why we are taking our time now. I know he’s scared and so am I we just have to work through it. He’s a good man and before the accident he was in love with me but since it happened he has shut me out and he even told me he was scared of hurting me again.
I feel bad saying this but have you seen the movie he's just not that into you? I feel like it was the first movie in awhile that showed what we honestly do as women when it comes to men. Believe him, dont read something he is telling you is not there.
I feel like you’re in a vulnerable place right now and reading more into this relationship than you should. Take a step back, enjoy the friendship, and just focus on your health right now. If he doesn’t want a serious relationship, there’s nothing you can do to convince him.
If a guy tells you it's nothing more than lust, believe it
You have to listen when someone tells you something. If he’s told you “just for lust” take that at face value and don’t try to read into it until he has communicated otherwise. Not everyone flaps their lips for the fun of it. He’s being honest and you need to decide where to go from there. Not make up a fairytale in your mind if it’s not warranted.
Just pray and take it day by day.
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You have to listen when someone tells you something. If he’s told you “just for lust” take that at face value and don’t try to read into it until he has communicated otherwise. Not everyone flaps their lips for the fun of it. He’s being honest and you need to decide where to go from there. Not make up a fairytale in your mind if it’s not warranted.