You guys I never make posts, but I'm not sure who to talk to. My sons dad and I broke up when I was 2 months pregnant…
You guys I never make posts, but I'm not sure who to talk to. My sons dad and I broke up when I was 2 months pregnant with baby #2 - since the split he's only given me $800 for my son on the last six months. I moved back in with my parents but I had quit my job and became a stay at home mom when I had my first so I literally had no source of income. We were giving my son enfamil enspire ($40 a can) but I could no longer afford it and switched back to regular enfamil. He had a fit and got upset even though he was not buying him milk. Long story short we will make arrangements for him to see the baby and he will cancel last minute or not show up. This has happened multiple times. He also has denied the baby on the way even though we were in a 7 year relationship. I'm due in roughly 45 days so a month and some change.
I'm not sure what to do it hurts me that he doesn't put any effort into seeing the baby and completely ignores the one on the way. Not for me but for me kids. He seemed to really love the baby when we were living together and At that point I had no complains as a father about him. But idk what changed. I feel like giving up but then I worry my kids will feel hurt in the future. I've been given the opportunity to relocate out of state and part of me wants to go but the other part of me feels guilty like I'm taking away the kids from their father. Then I think but he's not even around. I guess what I'm saying is I'm torn for my boys future. I never wanted to be one of those moms who withholds the kids or asks for money in exchange for visitation but I feel like I'm fighting for them to be with him and he is not.
Just looking for advice. What would you do? My fear is that my boys will resent me when they get older for moving. But I feel so alone here. He is of no help. Has not seen the baby in over a week. And to be honest I'm scared of raising my boys alone. It's hard enough as is. They don't have another male role model to turn to.
cantdeletebutimgone·
You are doing absolutely nothing wrong. He made the choice to not be with his children anymore. He is making the decision to not make an effort to see his boys. And in my opinion why should a man get all the pleasure of getting to see their children when he's not helping with the responsibility AKA child support. To me no father is better than a whenever I feel like it father . My advice would be don't reach out to him let him reach out to you with him let you know when he would like to be with the boys do it over text message or let him leave a voicemail so that you have proof for when he decides he's not going to show up. You're not going to be one of those moms but he will be one of those dads AKA deadbeat. Your boys are not going to resent you for the choices that their father made. They will resent their father. I would say it's his loss he doesn't deserve you or those boys. A man does not define your life and it is better for the children to be without a POS father then with a POS father. I say that from my own personal experience. Of course it's ideal for children to have both parents but due to one parent's decision that's not the case and it's not your fault. If I were in your situation I would take every opportunity that I could to be as far away from him as possible and start a better happier life.
Sasha Rivera·
Ur not wrong ur doing what any mom that cares for her children will do u think of u and ur kids and he’s losing out in his kids if he’s acting this way :/
Julie·
If moving means you and your kids will be better off, go ahead and do so. If he doesn't want to be so involved he won't be whether you stick around or not. Let him come to you if he wants to know about the kids or even see them. You don't want to stay stuck where you're at in hopes that it'll keep him close to the kids and then years later realize that you were struggling while he never really tried to be in their life. That's not fair to you nor the kids. You could probably move and he probably won't even know because of his lack of effort to be a part of your children's lives. Not saying that you shouldn't tell him if you do move. Just saying that you never know exactly when is the next time you will hear from him. So don't make your decision based on him and how it'll be easier for him to be there for them. He could be 5 minutes away and if he doesn't want to visit them he just won't. It's hard. And it might be scary. But you are able to raise the kids on your own.
Jaqueline Pearce·
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Girl the way i see it. You are doing nothing wrong. He has nothing to do with the child, so move if it is best for you and your child. And if he has something to say about it get a lawyer and i can almost promise you, he will either pay child support or give up all rights. Either way, it better for the child than what's happening now. You do you girl. You're the mom and a mom with the father absent, you know what's best.
Jess·
You aren’t in the wrong! Take his ass to court for child support! If he doesn’t want to see his kids then his loss. It really pisses me off when my sons father blows him off left and right cause to his father my son is an inconvenience but he cried to the courts wanting all this time then he just ditches him. Smh. These men have a something coming to them! But in the mean time take him to court for support. Try to get WIC to that helps a lot with formula and milk etc. it’s hard honey I go through the same type of stuff but at least our kids have us as good mothers to take cAre of them and make sure you document everything if you have to go to court for custody.