Super annoyed So we live with my fiance's mom. Pay rent, all of that. She's always commenting that we need to get our…

I want to work. I hate sitting around the house. I'm counting the minutes until my baby can eat solids and doesn't solely rely on my breastmilk. And in my city, the wait list for daycare assistance is 8-12 months long 😂😂. Shelter option is my only option. And I have been living off her since 2 weeks before I gave birth. Before that I was paying rent the same as him. I had a job, and I'm looking for one. It's nice that you guys assume that since I'm on food stamps, that I don't want to work. Thanks.

Have you considered a job and being on your own two feet? They have daycare assistance and can probably help you get your own place rather than just jumping to a shelter option.

I've given my oldest to her father and went into a shelter, and I can do it again. The only reason I need left is because I got pregnant. It should be pretty telling how great it is to be in this house, if I'd prefer to be in a couple shelter. The food is the very least

I've been in a shelter before and I've no issue going again. I'd probably have my own place faster, but since he isn't ok with me taking his child and going to one, I have to stay there.

First off. She's not my mother. I did not add 4 people to her home. I added 3. Second, I don't want to be there, but my fiance doesn't want me to go live in shelter, though I would gladly do it. He considers me leaving as me breaking it off with him. She causes me to have anxiety attacks nearly every week. I do not like it here and I will not show gratitude for being somewhere I do not want to be.

@laniejay No. I'm just not going to share all of it. I don't understand what you're not getting here.

You’re expecting her to share everything of hers with your four, but no you will not share “yours”.

@lexiem3, it’s not separate at all. You’ve increased her expenses by adding 4 people to her home. She’s covering you where you’re lacking. You need to be humble and show some gratitude or move out. If you can’t afford to then that should be a huge reality check for you as to how much she’s doing for you. Why don’t you sit down and have a chat with her. Ask her what more you can do to help her- if not financially, then cleaning or odd jobs. Figure out a game plan to get on your own feet and let her in on it, maybe that will make her feel better.

As for the other bills, idk what that has to do with food. That's completely separate. I can see if I complained about her increasing the bill, but I just got annoyed that she got mad that we didn't get every grocery she wanted so that we'd have enough to last the month without eating her food..

Idk how you think that we're supposed to buy food for us and her but also not eat the food that's hers. If you can figure out how to stretch 140 between 6 people for month, please let me know. However if she doesn't want us eating her food, that's fine. But I'm not gonna shoot myself in the foot, only to have her tell us that we can't share when we run out. I can help some, but I'm not gonna do it at the expense of my family. If we're all sharing, I have no issue helping out. But if we're buying our own food than that's what we're doing.

@lexiem3, so do you pay enough to cover all of you living there (payment divided by the number of people) and your share of all of the bills? Heat/electricity/water/sewer/etc?

She’s letting you live with her as a favor, it’s still her home you’ve brought 4 people into. She’s picking up the slack when you two can’t. I don’t think you should be saying anything but thank you too her.

All I was saying is that if she was going to say don't eat any of her food, even though we were also contributing, so, we did the same thing.

@laniejay I didn't say it was ok. When did I say this?? And it's a month. We bought our own food. We just ate some of hers too. And replaced it, otherwise she would complain

How much are you paying in rent that you also felt it was ok to eat all her food? Seems like you’ve been living off her for some time and she expects that you’ll help her out in return. Is that $140 a month or week?

this is why you don't live with your mil. Most women are crazy and you can't be the woman of the house while living in another woman's house. Do everything you can to get out!!

And stop going grocery shopping together.

I would just remind her, that that's the reason you have food stamps. So you guys can buy your OWN food and NOT eat hers. Then tell her she doesn't have to worry about you guys eating her food anymore.

@leahkay She already told us not to eat her food. Even though we were buying our own, we wouldn't get enough to last til the next paycheck and didn't really have enough to spend more on it. That's why we got the food stamps so we wouldn't have to eat her food. My issue is her getting mad that we wouldn't get all she wanted

The way I look at it is if you can't/wont buy all the food she wants then don't eat any of her food. That way she can't complain about it and it's fair.

When we lived with my parents they spent so much on food it was ridiculous especially because they always got what my brother and his gf (pregnant) wanted. We never asked for a single thing just ate whatever they bought. Then my dad started asking for money “equally” but we wouldn’t ever get chips or candy and things like that plus I would help my mom cook unlike my brothers gf. It was horrible they had all the privileges and my parents had the audacity to ask us for “equal” food money when my husband didn’t even eat there AT ALL... it was just me and my son. He was 2 at the time, he didn’t eat much. just comes to prove how it sucks living with other people 😩