Since my husband's a SAHD am I going to have to pay him if I kick him out of our house? It's our house because it's in…

@emily526, he don’t have any motivation it seems. You don’t deserve to feel trapped in a place you do everything for

@emily526 my man stays at home in the day while I work since my youngest was just 5wks old but,,he works in the evening at a restaurant...we both clean,cook,pay bills I'm not anyone's freaking maid! If he can't communicate like an adult well treat him like a child UNplug his Xbox and he'll start talking hopefully...it is hard to stay home w children all day and it's not for every woman to sit back and let a man make all the financial decision s like in 1940s hahahafuckkk that bs

A way to help him with the job could be something like... I know you will find a job that fits you when it comes along, but in the mean time I really appretiate you watching our daughter... it appretiates what he is doing while letting him know you believe in him, which helps him believe in himself

Definitely sounds like he is upset or depressed. He likely also feels undervalued, which by the sounds of things he is trying to get you to make him feel valued and unreplaceable by using albeit manipulative tactics... i.e. the I could leave, and when you seem okay with that, a retaliation of taking your title, and when you don't care, saying he will tear it up... the less you seem to care the more it seems to bother him so the more he is gonna outburst. Sounds like he is having pride issues, and your help in trying to help him find a job likely makes him feel like a bigger failure... men are kinda weird that way... honestly you may have to admit you likely can't help, just find things to quietly enpower him, like ask him to do a task that is manly, and then compliment him on it. Like mowing the lawn, or whatever. Spend a week trying to ignore his outbursts by trying to focus only on the positive. It won't be easy, but I bet it helps get him out of whatever funk he is in.

@sherrynygirl that's why I said from the very start, idk the situation... My boyfriend hates staying home, he loves the kids and wants to be with them as much as possible but he needs to make money or he feels like a failure. A lot of men feel that way which is why when a man is a sahd he gets a lot of credit, more so than sahms sometimes

@ladyblauvelt_mommyof2 Every situation is just different..my man stays home all day with our toddler so he doesn't need to go daycare and works the evening shift...We all do what's best for our families.. I've seen plenty of men not being able to stay home and be with their children and take them to their grandparents home while the wife is out shopping or working it's sad...

@sherrynygirl and I wasn't trying to be rude and she didn't take it that way either... Usually it is moms who stay home and it's not often you find a man who does it instead, it's a pride thing and if a man doesn't work or bring in money it's super stressful for them usually so I was just thinking maybe that's why he's been moody lately because it's getting to him but like I said, idk how the situation really is. I just know from my experience men like to be the bread winner... when my boyfriend isn't consistently working and bringing in pay he gets really aggravated with himself and feels like a failure.

@emily526 oh I see, yeah it's definitely hard when you can't communicate with each other and it would bother me too if it were my boyfriend and he wouldn't talk to me about anything and just said he didn't want to be with me

@sherrynygirl, that’s good to know in case I even have an issue like this. I never knew this.

@emily526, he don’t have any motivation it seems. You don’t deserve to feel trapped in a place you do everything for

@let_there_be_life I believe he may be happier if he was working. I've been sending him job postings for part-time and full-time jobs in his field, but to my knowledge he has yet to apply to any.

@let_there_be_life even a guest or relative you allow in your home if you allow them to get mail they can claim they live their by law or house guest s who over stay their visit after 30 days you have to go to court and get an intent to evict

@ladyblauvelt_mommyof2 She has a Career#1

Wow all this is news to me, I was unaware you weren’t able to kick people out if they get mail at your address, how crazy.

Op I would definitely be making him get a job, maybe it will lessen the burden on your relationship.

@emily526 my man stays at home in the day while I work since my youngest was just 5wks old but,,he works in the evening at a restaurant...we both clean,cook,pay bills I'm not anyone's freaking maid! If he can't communicate like an adult well treat him like a child UNplug his Xbox and he'll start talking hopefully...it is hard to stay home w children all day and it's not for every woman to sit back and let a man make all the financial decision s like in 1940s hahahafuckkk that bs

@ladyblauvelt_mommyof2 It's everyone's business because I posted it on here so no worries! I have asked if there's anything he's struggling with, depression, a dislike of staying at home, etc. but I get nothing back from him but hostility. I'm not planning on putting an end to anything, we're married and I do take that seriously. But I am interested in knowing what my rights are, so I just wanted to see if anyone on here was familiar. I believe he's just closing himself off for whatever reason, he's never liked talking about his feelings or emotions. He usually has a week where he's overly emotional for whatever reason and then he goes back to normal. I'm assuming that will be the case now, but you never know. One day could be a breaking point where I really do feel unsafe and if that day ever comes (I hope it doesn't) the last thing I want is to feel trapped. Also, he doesn't stay home so that I can work. He stays home by his choice.

@sherrynygirl He is definitely not comfortable with me working and him staying home. But there's literally nothing stopping him from applying to jobs or going back to school, etc. That's why to some on here I may sound bitter. But just like they say their husband's don't understand them being SAHM they don't understand the struggles of being a mother and a career woman.

OK I know it's not my business but, you say he doesn't contribute at all yet he stays home with the kids so you can work? If you think he's struggling with something why not try to get him to talk about it and get to the bottom of what the issue is before just putting an end to it.

@emily526 of course I love to help women know the right laws ! Some men really can't handle An Independent Career Woman ! They have no control then over her ! I've seen it happen plenty in women I met...I had an old neighborhood for yrs took her abusive husband's shit...he belittled her self esteem.. wouldn't even let her go to park for more than a certain time or spend any money while out with their Kid's not even buy a bottle of water he was sickly controlling. I helped her find a job .she learned to save money,got divorced and moved out and is doing great ...he has no more control of the old her scares to voice her thoughts

@sherrynygirl Girl you're the best, always coming through for me when I'm this app complaining. I feel like I don't have a good enough reason at the moment. But if these "moods" don't go away I'm going to try my luck anyway because I don't need to deal with anything extra, I'm busy enough as it is.

I looked up NJ laws for you...#1 you have to go to court and ask for a restraining order #2 fill it out and give back to court#3 has to state why you want him removed has to have some type ...#4 Ask the court to Grant you full possession of the home

@blakeslatinmama Yeah it's WAY out of character for him, I think he's struggling with something but isn't good at handling his emotions or expressing his feelings so naturally now everything is my fault.

@emily526, the trickiest part is his name being on the lease . But if you talk to your landlord I’m sure they can help you get it settled . Most of them are understanding and there isn’t really much he can do

@emily526 that's good, it could also be the stress of being a stay-at-home dad because I can feel the whole stay-at-home-mom pressure but that gives nobody the right to talk to anybody in any manner of disrespect so that's good that you're getting knowledge now, I hope everything gets better and prayers sent your way mama💕

@sherrynygirl Luckily I have it signed. He's like I'll leave but I'm taking your title. 😬 I was like ok deal there's the door. And he's like well I'll rip it. Like go ahead, I will go get a new one tf kind of lame ass threat is that.

@briannalynn547 It hasn't been 3 months yet, we moved in about a month ago. Nothing's set in stone like I said, I'm just trying to hear what my options are if I have any. I have it recorded of him saying he doesn't want to be married anymore, etc. And my feelings are if you don't want to be married then leave... I'm not going to keep supporting your existence then. It's disrespectful to sit here saying oh I don't even want to be with you but then when I tell you that you can leave you make threats. 🙄

@emily526 totally understandable

@jordanrwilliams25 yes I believe there should be programs out there that if you are going through that you might even be able to get a divorce for free I know that there are a couple here called Catholic Charities and Healthy Start

@mother.of.2 I'm not familiar with what counts as domestic violence tbh. But what I did do tonight was record the way he was speaking to me and the disrespect. I'm just being cautious in case it ever gets really out of hand I'll have other instances of it happening and proof. He is normally not like this, so I truly feel he's just going through something, but right now it is coming out as anger and aggression. Not physical aggression, but his tone of voice and everything tonight was enough to make me uncomfortable. I don't think it's fair I should have to deal with that in my own home. I'm grateful he doesn't do it when my daughter's around, but it could come to that one day you never know. So just trying to be prepared.

And hide the title of your car in your job ;) u can always get a replacement and hope just your signature is on it or he can sell your car :/

Where I live , if you’ve lived there for 3 months or more you have to serve an eviction notice . And since his name is on the lease or whatever , you’d have to have help from your landlord

@mother.of.2 if it's that uncomfortable it's worth a try especially if other children are in the home .. could also make a free consultation with divorce attorney just to find out your options in those situations that he threatens or the process in general

#1 sadly even as a guest in your home or your spouse If someone gets mail their they can claim they live there in court it's valid...(this is why u can't let just anyone get mail to your home) he may be on the house yes but..if he's not paying any bills a judge will see that fact...keep all your receipts..and I believe you have to actually Evict him and serve him a Notice ..Unless he's violent and you would have to call the police to make him leave and a court order in general...If he wants to be a good guy he can just go and not cause headaches..If he wants to be an Ass Pack his shit in garbage bags and have him leave and change the locks ;)

Depending on the state and how long you’ve been married you may have to pay him alimony.

In Wa, if they get mail at your address, you cannot kick them out.. better put in a change of address for him girl lol jk!! Praying your situation gets better soon!

@jordanrwilliams25 You can definitely get a replacement title that's why I'm not really worried about that. But I do feel saying he's going to rip it up counts as a threat. I don't feel comfortable being threatened in my own home. I realize it's nothing physical, but I still don't think I need to be living with a person who doesn't contribute at all. As of right now he is literally just an extra mouth to feed, an extra person who I need to pay health insurance for, etc.

Or hide your title if you know where it is 😂😂

@jordanrwilliams25 oh yeah unless it's domestic violence and you've been reporting it but nothing has been done about it also

@mother.of.2 yeah here in Ohio it's if it's over 30 days but if you call the police sometimes I have seen them make the person grab a night bag and leave especially if you're uncomfortable

Sorry he's an ass I hope it gets better for you

I don't know if it's the same where you live but over here in Texas you can't kick anybody out if they've been staying there for a certain amount of time and they have their belongings there I think you'd have to get a court order for that

I think you can pay for a replacement title same as if you lost it but I'm not sure