Well, I thought I’d be able to come back and update that id list weight but sadly that’s not the…

According to the BMI I am morbidly obese too bc of my height & weight. I think it’s ridiculously hard to lose weight too. Partly bc I love the taste of good food (junk food) and partly bc I’m not always motivated to workout (I quit working out when I got pregnant, tried once and my thighs hurt like Charlie horses hurt). So I have no good advice. I know it’s hard to get a sitter to workout and I have family that’ll do it. So I can tell you the general, eat smaller healthier snacks throughout the day. Walk more. Do short sprints during your walk. Drink more water. Blah blah blah. It’s all you’ve already heard. I’m wondering, would you still be this unhappy if you were your ideal weight?

One way or another, you need to get to a doctor for the suicidal thoughts and feelings. You cannot get better by putting yourself and your wellness (mental as well as physical) on the back burner. I read that this is a burner account because you're worried about how others will view you. No one is judging you, hun. We're here to support you and push you when you need it to do better and to seek resources to make you feel better. I know taking your kids with you to the doctor is a hassle. I have an almost three year old and a 5 month old with complicated medical needs, and dragging them along is hard, but it is so necessary sometimes. Please take time to see your doctor.

I agree, you should seek medical help for the mental. As far as working out, if you carve out one hour of therapy (there's even online counseling available now. And over the phone) I'm a Certified Personal Trainer and I'd be willing to train you free of charge over Facetime or Skype using just a free space in your home! (That's contingent on the mental health because you have to be mentally and physically strong for your beautiful kids)

I'm just here to say "You CAN do this" and we care about you! Like these other ladies have mentioned, please make yourself see the doctor to discuss both your physical health and emotional state. Hugs 💕💕💕

Take your kids to the dr with you. Sometimes you just do what you gotta do.

I understand not being happy with body size. I’ve been working for 10 years, unsuccessfully, to get to my goal weight. I like to blame my kids for the weight gain, but I have had to accept responsibility for the fact that I have been using them as an excuse not to be as active as I once was. I also like to use the excuse that I no longer have time to exercise, but I have a weight machine and an elliptical in my basement, so I can work out at any point in the day. I also quit eating lean, balanced meals in favor of fast food and junk food. With this third diagnosis of gestational diabetes, I NEED to make a lifestyle change so I can be with my kids and not be constantly ill or our time dictated by an insulin schedule. I’ve had to just suck it up, start keeping a food journal, and making myself low carb meals that help keep my blood sugar under control. When I go to work out, I include my kids by inviting them to come with me. My husband and I take the kids for walks and to the park so they can be active and we can get some exercise in as well. We also have a membership at our YMCA, which allows us to go to the pool, use weight machines we don’t have at home, and use cardio machines we don’t have. Our Y also has a child care during certain times of the day, so the younger kids can play while I work out. The key to losing the weight is motivation, making the decision to change a lifestyle, and setting smaller goals so it’s not so overwhelming. I had lost 20 pounds in the 4 months before getting pregnant this last time, and am determined to get back into my prepregnancy clothes within weeks of having this baby. I want to be healthy for my children AND show them that healthy decisions aren’t always boring or hard.

As someone very overweight, I find it important to remember that it took years to get this way, errgo it only makes sense that it would take years to fix it... try not to be so hard for yourself. And please go find a doctor