As harsh as it is this isn’t about you. It stopped being about you when you made the decision to have your baby. If you genuinely feel like you don’t want to be his primary care giver then you have to put your feelings aside and look at the best options for you boy. You may want to see him weekly, but would that be best for him? Life can be long, the best, most selfless gift you can give your baby is the chance to live a happy life either with you or without you but if you are serious about placing him for adoption I’d urge you to not drag it out, the longer he is with you, the more attached to you he will be and the harder the translation will be.

@vicvellas0411 this doesn't help someone caught in the midst of depression. If someone spoke to me this way in my deepest depression I'd tunnel deeper into my current mindset because my brain would use it as reinforcement to that thought process.

@avianlouiebos, true! But even a couple days a week could do you both well :)

@jessicajohnston expensive

@avianlouiebos, what about day care? :)

Why wont you get help?

The fact you’re not even sure about giving up your baby makes me wonder if you truly even want to give him away. I think you just need a legitimate break. Place him into a daycare a couple times a week and go join an activity. See if that helps.

As harsh as it is this isn’t about you. It stopped being about you when you made the decision to have your baby. If you genuinely feel like you don’t want to be his primary care giver then you have to put your feelings aside and look at the best options for you boy. You may want to see him weekly, but would that be best for him? Life can be long, the best, most selfless gift you can give your baby is the chance to live a happy life either with you or without you but if you are serious about placing him for adoption I’d urge you to not drag it out, the longer he is with you, the more attached to you he will be and the harder the translation will be.

@avianlouiebos why do you think you are not being a good mother? What makes you think so?

@beakymcspence offered an alternative that sounds similar to what you are looking for..

@avianlouiebos

Do you have any distant family like a 2nd cousin or something that wants to adopt? Someone who is "family" that might be more inclined to give you more than yearly updates.

I know that when I was TTC for years I wanted to adopt my brother's-in-law daughter's baby whom she decided to give up for adoption.

Unfortunately we didn't end up adopting the baby because my hubby couldn't wrap his head around raising his brother's grandchild as our own child..

But I was cool with it, it didn't matter to me that my husband would have technically been the baby's great uncle. I only wanted to be a mom and I would have happily have given more than yearly updates to the birth mom. Maybe some distant family member would be happy to do the same for you.

@troller adoption is the only thing I can think of even though its not what I want to do but i dont think theres any other option where im not his primary caregiver or i can get a healthy break

@troller i don't know what to do

@troller im not doing that

@avianlouiebos, Voluntary foster care, you’d be granted visitation and not be his primary care provider. Your child’s father would have to agree to it though.

@fakoffyeh i just want a situation where I get to see him but im not his primary caregiver i dont think theres an option for that though

@vicvellas0411 yea I know im a pathetic human being who won't get help even when i have a kid its fucked up and idk why im like that i just dont want help i dont want to get better I dont have the fight in me and im pathetic too for bringing up adoption at every hardship but im not ok with adoption but im not being a good mom and idk what else to do besides you know get help but i just wont do it so please don't have any sympathy for me i never asked for it

@avianlouiebos, I’m sure I could get you the agency she’s through, and it may be a welcomed break for you.

@fitmomma93 no

@beakymcspence no

@samanthalynnshaw21 i know adoption isnt a visit once a week thats the problem

@vicvellas0411 this doesn't help someone caught in the midst of depression. If someone spoke to me this way in my deepest depression I'd tunnel deeper into my current mindset because my brain would use it as reinforcement to that thought process.

Cant your mom take him then?

Do you know anyone who’d be open to even doing a bit of respite care for you? I know my cousin does this for a family in Edmonton hun and it works well.

What about grandparents, or aunts and uncles? Can’t they take him once a week? Why isn’t his dad more involved ?

Being a mom is not easy. Its extremely hard and is mentally draining. It would be good for yourself to get out of the house, have a girls night, do anything by yourself. It helps to refresh yourself and to decompress which is extremely important to your mental health. Speak to your doctor and seak help. If things dont change after you have recieved help then move on to your next option which might be adoption. You are quite young still, and havent experienced much life yourself so I see where you are coming from. Adoption isnt someone to care for your child and then you see him once a week. That would be very rare.

@fakoffyeh i just feel stuck cuz im either drowning and overwhelmed or i see him like once a year idk what to do :((

@fakoffyeh i talked to an agent its not weekly visits

@fakoffyeh im not ok with that

@fakoffyeh its not like a visit every week

@fakoffyeh yeah but i would still never see him