Hate how insecure about myself I am trying hard everyday not to be but when this happens it sure makes me feel worthless not wanting to be that way for my babies so I work at it constantly

I will be 41 :/
Short Luteal Phase?
I've just started temping because I believe that the reason I haven't had a BFP yet, after 20 months, is because I believe I may have a Luteal Phase Defect.
Things I never thought I'd say...
Until I became a mom:
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
I can relate to this in such a deep level. Sorry your going through this mama❤️