Anyone ever just feel like your marriage isn't going to make it and you just want to give up?
Is pregnancy always such a trying time for marriages? Is this normal but not frequently talked about?
If it's any consolation, my now fiancé and I were high school sweethearts, have been been together 5 years, and fell pregnant by chance. We say it was the best worst timing. It is a transition from couple to family. You have to look at your partner as your oasis in the desert rather than a camel taking every step with you but ultimately leading you further and further into a sandy abyss.
Normal, Hun! I have been super open and honest with friends and family that it was ROUGH on our relationship. We were also potentially moving out of state, had several job changes, and ended up moving house in my pregnancy. Not trying to sound bitchy or a "My situation was worse/harder/blah blah blah" or anything of the sort, just highlighting that there was a lot of change for us. In the end that's what pregnancy boils down to, change. It's new, it's scary, it's stressful. But it does get better. Don't forget to tell each other "I love you," every single day even if it's a "I hate loving you sometimes." This too shall pass. Hang in there Hun!
@kjcross I'd also stick to your medication. I'm suppose to be on meds but I had a bad side effect to it before so i refused to take them
@kjcross he's figured out when I start getting depressed. So when that happens he helps alot more with the kids so I can breathe. Before I use to just snap and he'd get mad back but now he understands so he takes the girls to another room. He'll even tell them girls rub moms feet or comb her hair etc.
@kjcross I'm sorry you're going through this right now I thought be divorced before my trimester I have had so many arguments unresolved issues with my Husband but I have learned to just be patient and get to know him better caused I have been with him just under one year then married and expecting our first child together so its challenging but I'm willing to make it work and so does he..
@roguemommyofjx3 what do you mean by "how to manage"? Was there something specific you could offer up as advice? I had (have) absolutely terrible prenatal depression that is now under control with medication, but we are both bracing ourselves for what PPD might occur 😢
@leroydoom i don't think years matter that much. I met my husband in January of 2009 and we had our daughter November of 2009. Each pregnancy has been the same bullshit. 😂 except we learned how to manage my ppd after this time around which is fuckin awesome sauce.
@princessrose i agree the big tester is after the baby is here. That shit pushes all types of buttons. Especially through sleep deprivation.
It is. Each of my pregnancies me and him have had one big blow out fight. My hormones and expectations were too high. For some reason in my pregnant ass mind I always wanted it to be like the damn movies. 😌😂 also there are alot of changes to our mind and body while pregnant and we start to get self conscious and that just opens a can of warms. Also a man is going through is own mind battles like will he be able to support his family, child and will he be a good father etc
At least this is true for us not sure if everyone has had the same feeling an issues.
I was with my husband for a short time before marriage too. We just had our ten year wedding anniversary and I can tell you it’s only gotten harder throughout the years. Bring on the kids and your conflicting views on how to raise them, only adds to it. We keep pushing through somehow though.
@leroydoom we have been together just 14 months, married for almost 8. We got pregnant 4 weeks after our wedding- unintentionally 😔. I'm so tired of arguing, I literally just can't anymore. I have no energy left to keep trying to improve communications and find solutions. I wish we had a stronger foundation before all this. It just feels hopeless at this point 😢
How long have you been together?
Honestly, I tend to think so, usually the ones that I personally see have minimal issues are the couples who have been together for 8+ years even before they were married. When you've been together that long I guess you've discovered pretty much everything about each other, through sickness and age, no ugly surprises 😂😂😂
My son's father and I (not married) were only together about a year when I fell pregnant with Damien and it was pretty rocky at times. Then you have different parenting styles, react differently to different situations.
Yes. And so is the after part of the baby actually being here. I feel like I’ve never thought about divorce until after my daughter was born. I can’t do this without him, and it’s definitely not my daughters fault but it puts pressure on the relationship
I just feel like this Marriage is not worth fighting for anymore! I rather be single and happy then in a marriage and be miserable I just can't do it anymore
Just found out something that will likely break my marriage... it was already almost completely over but this, nope..... no coming back from it!! 🤷🏻♀️
Save my Teen Marriage
Did anyone watch this Real Life last night? I'm just finishing it up now. It's an interesting concept with the hall pass. Teen marriages have such high failure rates, that I wonder how this "hall pass" will fair for them. I can't honestly imagine a teen marriage surviving this.
Marriage is what you make of it
If you think marriage doesn't change anything and it's just a piece of paper then that is how you will treat it. If your partner feels this way, then they have no reason to put any effort into it either. If you get married you will know there is an "out" and will use it when the going gets tough.
I look back to when I was pregnant and I was a raging hormonal bitch who cried and wanted to have sex all within the same minute. I look back and I was completely nuts lol!!!! It’s just all the hormones. Keep telling yourself that UNLESS you truly do have obvious reasons to ditch that dirtbag for cheating, being abusive, not working and being a lazy ass! You shouldn’t have to make excuses for why your mans good. They should come by the dozens and if there’s no good reasons coming to mind then maybe you’ll be happier alone. Either way it’s a big decision to make and so simple all at the same time. Sometimes it takes years to make and some just one day. Good luck with everything. Everyone deserves happiness even if that’s just achieved with yourself and your babies