@babyking1, not everyone’s okay with spanking, especially 1 year olds 🤷‍♀️

People disagree, if all she said was you hit and yell that’s pretty harmless and no reason to make you feel like bad mom. Only you can make yourself feel bad.

@modom16, I would rather use other techniques. It is not something I do on a regular basis, I just didn’t know what else to do. It’s not like I’m this abusive and mean mother. Trust me, my child gets loads of love and attention. It’s part of the reason she’s so spoiled. But understand that I’m going to take offense to certain things

@babyking1, I’m not telling you how to parent I’m giving you suggestions to try. Look we know one little swat isn’t abuse, no, but a lot of times that’s how it starts and escalates. Most of us were spanked as kids, not all of us turned okay. I mean if you REALLY think about it, have an open mind here, if you think it’s fine to hit small children maybe you didn’t turn out all that okay. I’m not trying to put you down or your parenting down, this is just what it took to open my eyes as well. I was spanked and did it in the beginning with my first child because I thought that was the only way and my mom said it “worked” for us. No it just made me fear my mother as a child and have even less respect for her as an adult. If you feel spanking is how you want to raise your child then so be it, but you stated it was wrong and you felt bad so I took that as you would rather use other techniques.

When I was little I had to eat soap when I talked bad. When I didn’t listen, I got spanked. NOT smacked, spanked. And I respected my parents and turned out OK. Do i think my daughter is a bit young for me to smack her butt one time? Yeah, I do. Did I try other methods before doing it? Yeah I did. This app is supposed to be about lifting moms up and helping them out, not pointing fingers and saying you were wrong, here’s the right way to do it. I’ve never commented on anyone’s post on this app telling them how to parent. It’s ridiculous. To those of you who gave me advice and suggestions WITHOUT pointing fingers, thank you. To those of you who found it necessary to criticize, don’t bother commenting on my stuff anymore.

@mrschanandlerbong95, sure

@modom16, and i did try that. I’ve tried that numerous times. I tried getting on eye level and telling her no and we do “ahhh” to be nice to the dog and to me and such. I don’t like being told I’m wrong? No I don’t like being told how to parent my child because people really and truly believe that that’s abuse. And I don’t like having fingers pointed at me as if I’m a horrible parent.

@babyking1, you did what you had to do. When I was young my dad would do that same. Now in days you can’t do thing like that because people think it’s abuse. If my child don’t behave I’ll spank her too. Not everyone understand the same. You do what you think works for her. Sometimes kids hurt themselves more bad but they want to cry when we spank them and it don’t even hurt. I don’t think it hurt her since I think she still wears diapers right? I little spank won’t hurt her. It’s not like you’re doing it to hard

I’m not going to sit here and criticize you, but I am part of a “Peaceful Parenting” group chat here. I’ve read a lot of good suggestions on what to do in situations like this. If you’d like, I can pm you the link to join in?

@babyking1, isn’t that what this post is though? You didn’t like being told you did wrong.

There are plenty of ways to handle a toddlers behavior without hitting them, I know you don’t see that as beating or abuse but imagine how it looks to a small child. She’s really young, she doesn’t know that she’s doing something to hurt you, she’s testing her limits and it’s totally normal. Hitting her when you’re frustrated is just showing her to do the same thing. Next time she does that, show her soft hands and tell her we’re nice and gentle to mommy. Using a calm voice will help her see it’s not a big deal, they like any attention at that age even it’s you being angry. If that doesn’t work put her on the floor away from you and say the same things, she will learn eventually.

@mar_la, thank you. My boyfriend and I always praise her and applaud when she’s nice or does something good. Sorry but I’m not raising a special snowflake who can do no harm. That’s what’s wrong with this world. Everyone’s too damn sensitive and never wants to be told they’re doing anything wrong. I would never ever beat my child or abuse her.

@gotmilk2018, no. I didn’t hit her back. I talked to her first and she didn’t listen. Then i raised my voice and she did it again. Then I smacked her butt. I’m not explaining myself to someone. Thanks for the advice but the snide comment wasn’t needed.

At the end of the day do what works for you and your household! Not everyone’s child is this same. What works for one might not work for all.

@babyking1, No problem! And yes society is extremely sensitive. We’re all still learning and instead of shaming each other we should share ADVISE! I personally don’t see anything wrong with a tap. Especially if they’ve been told after a third time. I don’t go straight to tapping and neither did you. Like you said you went through several options and your last result was a tap! ..... And You’re 100% right you don’t need to explain yourself.

So because she hit you, you hit her back (just once) because that’s not going to confuse her at all......

Maybe try time out put her in a corner or naughty chair or something for 1 min. Might not seem long but 60 seconds it’s pretty long her a baby. Stay consistent and you may see a change it’s worked for my 3 year old and 1 year old.

@mar_la, THANK YOU! I’m a first time mom, I’m still learning every step of the way. Now I know smacking her leg wasn’t right and it clearly didn’t do anything. But it was the 3rd time she yanked my hair after hitting AND biting me. Talking to her wasn’t doing anything and then raising my voice wasn’t doing anything either. I’m still trying to figure out ways to discipline her since she’s so young and doesn’t understand. these people really act like I beat my kid. I swear society today is so sensitive. They really wanted to say I “spanked/beat” my 1 year old. that NEVER happened. I don’t even know why I go through the effort to explain myself to people who don’t even know the situation. Thank you for making me feel better!

@babyking1, girl do NOT feel bad! You are no where near an abusive bad mother. Your daughter is not hurt and she still loves you more then anything in this world. Don’t let other people’s opinions dictate you being a GREAT mom. Your child is well taken care of! People throw that word “abuse” around like paper! People may disagree but they also didn’t carry your child for nine months and raise her for a year **** that!!

@nandfmoderator, i was just looking for some advice. I feel bad about smacking her leg now. she was being really bad though. But I know I’m not being abusive. There are people that are actually abusive to their kids. Seems like you can’t get advice from anyone anymore without judgment

@nandfmoderator, yeah it wasn’t in person. It’s an app. It just pissed me off because I know I’m a good mom, not perfect by any means but I do my best and my daughter is VERY loved and well taken care of. So if she hits me and yanks my hair and I yell no at her I don’t think that constitutes “yelling and hitting” at my child.

@modom16, that’s not all she said. She told me to get parenting classes etc etc.

@modom16, it’s not spanking. One single “smack” is not spanning. Trust me. I got spanked when I was little. That’s not it.

@nandfmoderator, I think she’s talking about an app

@babyking1, not everyone’s okay with spanking, especially 1 year olds 🤷‍♀️

People disagree, if all she said was you hit and yell that’s pretty harmless and no reason to make you feel like bad mom. Only you can make yourself feel bad.

I haven’t had any bad experiences on here. I just got in a full blown fight with a woman because she tried to say I “hit and yell” at my kid because she yanked a chunk of my hair out today so I smacked her butt. I’m pissed right now. She made me feel like such a bad mom!

@nandfmoderator, true true. Even though we all struggle we still go and make others life worse 🙄

I used to have that app and I loved it but then people started being rude

I know right