I had planned to move out over the next couple days. I still want to. I think it be good for us, maybe we would stop…

I had planned to move out over the next couple days. I still want to. I think it be good for us, maybe we would stop taking each other fir granted?

The bigger, bolder part of me is just done. He read my journals today and proceeded to speak on things, traumas i hadnt even gotten to deal with, things i am ashamed of and had no plans to divulge to him.

A new start would be great. if it wasn't followed by paralyzing fear. I hate that i have to leave my garden, my compost pile,my home

So is the only man in ds 3 life besides his dad. They love each other.

Im giving up the home I've built but to stay would be economically safe but not happy.

Part of me hates him. Part of me misses him. We've known eachother years, been together three, his most latest barrier is to say our kid isn't his. I know my body. Ive been pregnant 3 times. I akways get pregnant when i have sex within 3 days of the end of my period. I prayed for this baby , so did he. Hes making me wish i hadn't.

This could be my fresh start. So why am i so scared of moving on? Hes not all that great to me. Im no picnic either

I just never expected this let down.