#mombassadorchat Moms, Today's chat is with @erinflaherty818

@jayraemama, my oldest has severe ADHD and anxiety and he’s going into 11th grade. I won’t lie, it’s a long frustrating road for you, him, and his teachers. Somewhere around 8th grade school became easier to manage. As far as speech and language for toddlers, that’s not my expertise but I wish it was! My 2 y/o has been slow with that as well. We just continue to immerse him in a language rich environment and give lots of opportunities for him to talk, go back, and repeat.

@npie, honestly? She’s a young 2 and she may not be ready for painting yet. They are very sensory oriented, so maybe try painting with toes and fingers. Also, she may be at an age where all those theories of object permanence come into play. She may just need some reassurance that her play doh is t gone forever and it will come back...a little game of peekaboo with it!

I am a Masters Student studying at Ashford University online for Early Childhood education

@whoswhoo, that summer it was especially hot in Baltimore. At the end of the year, everyone had to clean out their space for painting and cleaning—everything had to go home. My office was on the 4th floor-no elevator, no A/C....We’d have early release days for heat, kids kept fainting. My adopted classroom was in a trailer. So I was going up and down 4 flights of stairs in 100+ degree building stairs carrying boxes of books and supplies, several carfuls. THen I had to clean the shithole classroom I was assigned to take over after 12 other teachers had quit and left their mess behind. Again, no help offered. Two days after the year ended I went for my regular OB appt to learn that there was no longer a heartbeat. Mind you, my baby was an IVF baby so I’d already had 3 awesome ultrasounds by this point at the fertility clinic and 2 checkups with the regular OB. I truly believe that new evil administrator and that district and that building terminated my pregnancy. She was due on Christmas 2013. I’m still bitter. 😒

@whoswhoo, that trip

Sounds AMAZING!!!!

@_sheriee, you’re welcome!

@erinflaherty818, thank you! Very helpful ❤️

@erinflaherty818, just saw your other response. I guess with that perspective it makes complete sense. I’m hoping my anxiety drops significantly over the summer. I’m a natural stress-er. I’ll be MIA for all of June. I’m heading to my grandmas home, where nothing but complete serenity will surround me and my son. It’s a dream location, no cell phone service or internet, in a national forest. She lives on a mountain top with a killer view. 4 weeks there & I hope to come back de-stressed. We do this every year :)

@whoswhoo, I just take the lowest dose of Prozac available. It’s been around so long and had so many studies and is approved for pregnancy with no negative side effects. It’s just enough to take edge off and as my OB explained, my personal stress and anxiety was more detrimental to my pregnancies than the Prozac. 🤣🤣🤣

@whoswhoo, I was in the same boat. 15 weeks into a healthy pregnancy but there were multiple factors at work that I couldn’t get around (excessive heat, being teacher #13 for that class that year and being pulled from my office position to teach again, the kids were beyond out of control fighting and it was April). 15 weeks in, i miscarried a healthy pregnancy, no DNA or pathology issues at all. I was not given my anti-anxiety medicine and I just couldn’t deal. The next time I was pregnant, I demanded my Prozac, stayed way more chill, and when it got too hot and crazy, my doctor put me on early medical leave 4 weeks early due to stress. You are the only one who can and will advocate for yourself and your baby. Under law, pregnancy classifies you as temporarily disabled and if your work conditions are hazardous to you and your pregnancy, you can request a temporary reassignment and they need to make every effort to honor your request.

@erinflaherty818, I had a miscarriage in Sept & sometimes I think it’s bc of all the issues I was dealing with. I wasn’t forewarned about the kids with mental issues, I had to dig deep and find out on my own. I’m 3 months pregnant now and I’m trying my best to get through. Hell, you’d think because I’m on our summer break that it’ll all be fine & dandy, but it’s not. The pay is awful here, but I have still decided to get massages on an as needed basis. I have one here in an hour and I’m hoping it brings closure to the year lol. Luckily my SO is the breadwinner and respects the fact that I NEED my massages lol. It’s awful to hear that you are on anti anxiety meds. What are the side effects and does it really help? I honestly think I’d go more “natural” than prescribed pills, but who knows as I’m taking all kinds of pills now to help with the morning sickness.

@_sheriee, they usually stop crying within a few minutes. That might go on for a couple weeks. My guys have to readjust at the end of every summer when they go back from a couple months off. No worries, no one will judge you, most kids respond this way. It’s cute when, even at this age, kids will comfort one another.

@erinflaherty818, does it usually take them a long time to adjust?

@_sheriee, Drop her off and walk away! She might cry, but it’s best to drop, hug, kiss, and go. You may want to cry in your car and you may feel terrible but she will make friends. Moms who hang around tend to get the kids so worked up it can be traumatizing. Also, sign her up for something with other kids....soccer or t-ball or dance.

@neoshas_mama, lots and lots of repetition....rhymes, songs, color it, see it, etc. Also, I used to make weekly vocabulary and spelling lists for my daughter around a theme and I’d tape up the words in her room, find related books, an art project, etc. it’s challenging but not too difficult at that age :)

So my daughter is 3 and starting pre-k (hs-3) and she’s super shy and uncomfortable around other kids. Any advice or something to ease her with other kids?@erinflaherty818,

@whoswhoo, Girrrrrrrl you are preaching to the choir! I have 5 years in a residential treatment facility, 2 in an alternative school, and 8 in Baltimore City Public, the rest in Pittsburgh, San Bernardino, and now Dover. The challenges grow, the expectations grow, the kids get away with more and the parents are so disillusioned it’s extremely disheartening. I’ve learned to schedule “mental health days” where I leave early for pedicure. I take an anti-anxiety medication. I overly prepare and work my ass off to predict any issues that might happen. The best move I ever made was to change my scenery (district).

Abcs songs colors

@jayraemama, my oldest has severe ADHD and anxiety and he’s going into 11th grade. I won’t lie, it’s a long frustrating road for you, him, and his teachers. Somewhere around 8th grade school became easier to manage. As far as speech and language for toddlers, that’s not my expertise but I wish it was! My 2 y/o has been slow with that as well. We just continue to immerse him in a language rich environment and give lots of opportunities for him to talk, go back, and repeat.

@justgotaname, no need to worry! This will all come in time! :)

@neoshas_mama, Start with simples? What do you mean by this?

@erinflaherty818, Hi there! My daughter will be 5 in July and we are planning to send her to Kindergarten in August. (Which I am still a little worried about due to her shyness.). She has been in a Montessori preschool since last Sept and will be there all summer. This is full time preschool/daycare. Should I be concerned that she seems to know ALL of her sounds, but isn’t necessarily associating them with the letter? For example, the other day she said, “There’s a “pu.” (sound p makes). I said, Yes, what letter is it? And she didn’t know.

Im currently trying to home school my oldest who is 4 and start with simples with my one year old. Got any tips for how to start this up and on how to be sussesfull?

@bolenchy, That would depend on the public school system where you live. When I grew up in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, I had a wonderful public school education. In our Baltimore County home, my daughter had a wonderful public school education. If my kids had had to go to City Schools, as a teacher there for 8 years, I’d have put them all into a private or parochial school. There are pros and cons to each but they become more evident as kids age. However, much research suggests if they have the best possible K-3 start, they’ll succeed and thrive later. Ultimately it comes down to class sizes (smaller is better), school culture (behavior/discipline/morale), and teacher/staff experience (schools with high teacher turnaround are constantly in a state of WTF is going on around here?! LOL). Teacher turnaround says a LOT about a school!

@erinflaherty818 please would you advise for a private or a public school for my KG ready child. Is the private school really worth the price? And can make you please make a difference why one may be preferred over another? Thanks

@erinflaherty818, she loved to finger paint and color etc but now it's all about the play doh lol I'll try the Peekaboo idea & see if that works thanks!! I also just found some play mats on Pinterest that I'm going to laminate which look fun

@jayraemama, More than likely school isn’t boring. When our students make these comments, either they find the work too hard or too easy or they’re having trouble making friends. It may also be dependent on the teacher...older teachers tend to steer clear of technology integration and that is hard if perhaps their friend is with a different teacher doing more fun things. Have you conferences with the teacher? I’m curious what his teacher has observed. My boy was like that for a long time and he’s going into 11th grade and still quite the stubborn one. Finding books that interest him on his level is HUGE...then having choices with what to do with it is helpful as well. His learning style may not be being tapped into. There are so many factors to consider but I’d start with his teacher and questions about his grades, effort, and peer relationships. Good luck momma!!

@npie, honestly? She’s a young 2 and she may not be ready for painting yet. They are very sensory oriented, so maybe try painting with toes and fingers. Also, she may be at an age where all those theories of object permanence come into play. She may just need some reassurance that her play doh is t gone forever and it will come back...a little game of peekaboo with it!

@sarah.s, I feel you, momma! My boys get very antsy, as do most 4 year olds. I tell this to all parents....Your child will sit longer in a classroom with a teacher than they ever will for momma...Including my own kids. 🤣🤣🤣 If you’re really gung-ho to make it work, introduce the concept of competition and flattery! Lots of positive praise goes very far at this age.

@erinflaherty818, My daughter turned 2 in march and alll she wants to do is play with play doh lol , I try to get her to paint or do other activities that she used to love but she never wants to. Any advice to help me transition to another activity without a total meltdown?

@keebs, that’s a fabulous question! Every child is so unique and I think it would also depend on your academic goals for your child. If you plan to home school I definitely, then when your child shows readiness, go for it! Learning won’t hurt. If you want to simply prepare your child for kindergarten at a public school, then that would look different. As an example, I began homeschooling my now 14-year old when she was a young 2. She had learned and was singing her ABCs and was conversational. My husband at the time was home during the day so I’d write lesson plans for him to deliver instruction in 15 minute increments a few times a day. She’d place stickers of planets on pages according to pictures, she’d listen to stories and work on phonics, I’d have her counting things and grouping them, etc. This went on until she went to pre-k, where they discovered she knew how to read and she was pushed through to kindergarten. Ultimately, she skipped a grade and wound up in all gifted and talented classes. On the other hand, my little guys (2+3), they’re not ready for that yet. They count and do more age and developmentally-appropriate things so they go to daycare and get what they need there. Start slow and see what interests them.

I want to sit and teach all 3 of my girls but they won't listen or sit still long enough. @erinflaherty818

How can I get my 4yr old to sit and want to learn(longer then 10 min)? 4 next mnth. @erinflaherty818

@mommy.to.sterling, You’re welcome! The important thing is to have fun at this age!

@erinflaherty818, what age is appropriate to start a homeschooling program?

@mommy.to.sterling, 16 months is such a fun age! It’s an age of exploration and creativity. At that age, music and dance is great! Clap to rhythms, work on gross and fine motor skills with balls and blocks. If he is bringing you books, he’s demonstrating his desire for literacy and mom time. That’s a fantastic sign. Sponge paint with letters and numbers, follow the leader, learn songs....lots of repetition!