My life is a fucking joke!!! I’m so sick of it! What the hell is wrong with me?! I’m feeling…

You are not worthless! Idk what's going on in your life, but please don't ever think you don't have purpose in this world. You're a mom and a wife. People need you, want you around and look to you for guidance and love. Don't ever forget that❤

If it makes you feel better, I was constipated today and, yet again, my poop would only come out while standing up.

Long story short, my anus has bad aim and my shits landed on the bathmat.

One turd actually hit the back of my leg on the way down.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A NUGGET SIZED, ROCK HARD TURD JUST KINDA SKID ON THE BACK OF YOUR LEG.

Seriously though, if you need to vent, I'm here. And you're definitely not worthless. We love you.

Wait.... is this a joke😐

deb that's facking nasty😖

I’m no longer going to be a wife. I’m filing for divorce on Monday. I feel worthless because I have absolutely no one, no career. Not a damn thing that I have done for myself for the past almost 4 years since became a sahm.

My entire life is down the drain and I’m scared as hell with how my life is going to be like now.

@messybunmom, Take a deep breath. It will be okay. 💜 You are a strong, beautiful woman. If you need to talk you can PM me.

@messybunmom I don't know the reasons behind your divorce, but it's clearly bad enough that you feel the need to have a clean slate. Yeah, the clean slate also comes with zero career, BUT you will save your dignity, regain your sense of self and find your footing.

It's rare that someone has it easy or knows all the steps they'll take once they've decided to file for divorce.

You can do this.

@messybunmom your marriage did not define you as a great woman and mother. This too shall pass. If you're filing for divorce, I'm sure it's warranted. You can do this. Start looking for jobs and assistance. You've got this mama

Thank you for the kind words. It’s deeply needed right now.

I'm sorry things are so rough. I hate that you feel this way about yourself. It sounds like everything is really raw right now, but know that you are NOT worthless. You are bright, capable woman and you will get through this, whatever comes. Hugs, mama ♥

@messybunmom, one day you’re going to look back and remember today and this post and thank god that you had the courage as a woman and a mother to take such a huge step and better your life. It will be hard I’m sure but you will have us to vent to every single day if you need to.

Oh no I’m so sorry honey! You are not worthless. You are an amazing mom and woman and can do this. Take it step by step. 😔

you are soooo not worthless don't think that. idk what's going on but you are strong and you will get through whatever comes your way

@messybunmom, oh I’m so sorry for whatever it is you’re going through ❤️ you can do this though, there is help out there for you. Stay strong and know it’s okay to be scared.

I’m so heartbroken right now. I go from crying to being angry to laughing at how everything is right now. It’s sad!

I want him to fight for me but it’s not happening. What hurts the most is that he doesn’t love me how I love him. And seeing our kids not being together. It’s not how I wanted my life to be like.

I know I’m going to struggle with being out my element and feeling lonely but I deserve to be happy and I deserve a man that will love me with all his heart.

what did you do b4 sahm

@messybunmom remember those last words you just wrote! You deserve happiness, love and someone who loves you so much that he would never dream of letting you slip through his grasp. And you WILL find it. Will it hurt like hell in the meantime? Yes. Are you strong enough to endure whatever is currently standing in your way of greatness? Absolutely. Don't ever question your ability. You're stronger than "today's you", realizes. Take one day at A time, one moment at a time. Grieve what you thought once was and pick yourself up. We're all here rooting for you babe. With whatever you need to get you where you need to be!

@messybunmom, if he’s not fighting for you then fuck him! He has a beautiful wife and mother to his kids and doesn’t care if he hurts you. Ugh you do deserve better.

Hugs @messybunmom. You are the opposite of those things. You are strong and a wonderful mother. I am praying for the best for you. 💕

Oh mama. I’m sorry you are going through a tough situation right now. Be strong. And no matter what happens, you can do this!

I’m so sorry to hear about this @messybunmom 😢 if you need to talk at all I’m here. Has this been brewing under the surface for you for a while?? You guys have had a lot going on w his family.. I don’t know the details of what is going on but I do believe nothing is beyond hope.💗

I’m so sorry you’re going through this 😢 you’re definitely not worthless. Hugs ❤️

You're awesome and fantastic. So if he can't realize this, then it's his loss. You will find someone worthy of you ♡♡♡

The last 4 years of your life does not define you. Being a sahm has taught you valuable lessons that you can actually use in real life, so you do have those 4 years of work experience. You are feeling sad now, but happiness will come, and these days and feelings will be just distant memories. He's going to regret letting you go and wish he could hold you again and wish he was special to you like once upon a time.

Sounds like you’re closing the door on a chapter of your life that wasn’t so great. Which means you’re opening the door to another, it could be the best chapter of your life so far. You have a chance for new beginnings- to take yourself anywhere you want. Clearly it’ll bring some sadness for what you thought was to be and it will bring anxiety because new and unknown is scary, but it can also bring an amazing story if you so choose. You can do this.

@messybunmom, oh no I’m so sorry to hear this!! U will find your way. Keep your head up momma you’re a great person and mom!! Sending love and hugs

Just because he is making you feel worthless doesn’t make that the truth. SAHMs are the hardest working ppl I know. You selflessly give so your family can be safe, stable and feel loved. You are already showing strength by filing for divorce. No matter how hard things get, please keep pushing. You and your kids deserve happiness. BIG HUG! 😘

@kellyjc, I was in nursing school but dropped out 😑 and I worked in the fraud department/cashier work at a casino.

Thanks everyone for your lovely words. I need to get my shit together. Physically, emotionally and mentally. It’s been so long. I’ve been a wife and a great one at that and being a mom that I lost myself in the process. It might be an emotional rollercoaster but I’m wanting “me” back. I love him, I really do but in a marriage we just weren’t working. I thought we were but things change and I have to accept the fact that there’s something greater than him. Whether that be continuing my education and being a working mom to eventually being with someone that will love me when I’m at my worst. I loved him at his worst and it sucks that I don’t get the same in return but this is my exit in a marriage that wasn’t healthy and start bettering myself for myself. I’m scared but I have to push myself to see what I’m capable of.

@messybunmom, you’re beyond capable! The way you’re speaking shows how wise you are. Things may be difficult at first but I have no doubt you can do this. It sucks you can’t count on your partner to lift you up, so you gotta do it yourself. For you and your kids. I wish you nothing but the best, all around 💖

@phoebesmommy, about a month ago we got into an argument where we had to sit down and discuss us. We both agreed that we were neglecting each other as well as individually. I got depressed after my mom died so I stopped doing a lot of things for myself. I quit working out, wearing makeup like I usually did. I wasn’t worried about myself. His issue with me is my physical appearance. He says he misses my old body and the way I treated myself. I can’t be mad at him because I miss my old self too. And that I don’t show much affection with him. He wants me to love on him and stuff. Which I did for a little while but I’m not happy with my self with the way I look so I quit because in my mind, if I don’t think I look good enough then I don’t think he will either.

My issue is we need to spend time together. Just us 2. I want him to have time to catch up without having to talk about kids with the kids. Business has spiked up so he’s constantly working and in that sense I feel neglected with that.

He’s not abusive in any sort of way.. it’s just that I think we’ve grown apart and I’m not sure how long it will take for us to be happy with ourselves to be happy with each other. He doesn’t think what we are going through right now is divorce type. He just wants us to think about it because divorce is huge deal. We both want to be happy for ourselves and with each other but not sure if it will happen.

Right now, it’s to find love for ourselves. I’m just going to worry about me for right now. I need Chelsee back.

@messybunmom, I’m so sorry for all you have been through. This is where marriage is tested in the fires of life. He vowed to love you through all life brings your way: the good times and the bad. It’s not easy, but communication is a must. I understand you don’t feel like yourself and that is OK. He has expressed what he misses about his wife and that’s OK too. You need time to grieve and to take baby steps to give in ways he receives love and he needs to do the same as well.

Also, you guys seem to have a lot of outside influence from your in laws affecting the quality of your marriage. It may be time to start talking about counseling and some ways you guys can guard your marriage.

Idk what is exactly going on in your life but I do know this your not worthless. Your a momma and a strong women. It takes alot to see that a marriage is beyond repair and is unhealthy. Exspecially when your will have to rebuild yourself and your life. I was married for 12yrs to a man who cheated and belittled me alot. I loved him alot and always thought he would one day be the man i needed and the role model my son deserved. I always blamed the fact that we were very young when we got together for his actions. I was always afraid to leave. Where would i go with 4 little kids, and my part time job would never of been enough to take care of me and the kids. But one day after a heated arguement of him taking down to me and cheating again. I had enough. When he left I packed my stuff and with the kids i left. I had no choice but to go to a women's home. We were only there a month but they helped alot. I found a better full time job got us a small apartment, signed up for all the state assistant that I could and filed my divorce. It was so hard at first. I cried myself to sleep almost every night for that first month. But one day you wake up and realize you didn't cry yourself to sleep last night. And each day you do get stronger. In my case I had to find a mutual party to do the kid swap on the weekends because when I filed the divorce and he realized i was seriously gone he tried all his old tricks to get me back and I knew i couldn't do it. I wanted my daughter's to grow up to find a man that was good to them and my son to be a good man and staying with him would not do that for them. We have been divorced now for 3 yrs. I have since stood on my own two feet worked my butt off found God, and a man who treats me and my kids like royalty. He is amazing. We now have a 1yr old and a son due any day now. There is life after love. You have to get up every dayand tell yourself you can get thru that day. Do it foryour children. If he is not a man u would want your sonto be or your daughter to be with one day. Then you don't need him either. You can do this. And one day you will be glad that you did. Keep pushing & fighting. Sry this is so long. But if you ever need to talk feel free to message me. Good luck and God bless.

Thanks guys! I like hearing encouragement! I need it right now because I feel lonely. Thinking about my future of school already has me in better spirits. I’ve been wanting to go for awhile but kept pushing it off. Now my situation is pushing me to do it.

Even though I know he will never leave me in the dark and he will be there for me and the kids, I know I can’t always expect to lean on him. He’s a great provider and a dad. But not so great when it comes to emotionally being there for me.

@messybunmom, Is he fully supportive of you pursuing your education?? That’s so great if so! And I hear you, my DH is a sweetheart- very sensitive to my needs but he can be useless when it comes to being emotionally there for me. It’s good to have a close friend to lean on too. There still is nothing wrong with wanting more from him in terms of meeting your emotional needs. Hopefully he can grow in this overtime. 💗💗

@messybunmom. Its good to see your focused on making a brighter future. Sry for the long post. I didn't see your post about what was going on. I do agree that it sounds as though you guys may have grown your separate ways and maybe just being friends (if that's an option later) would be best. We are moms and it is a really hard to get our perfect bodies back and be the person we were before having kids. We spend most of our time tending to kids and their needs and the house hold needs that when we do get time to ourselves we usually use it to chill out for a moment. Your beautiful. Don't be so hard on yourself because he thinks that you should be a stepford wife. He should be more understanding of what your body had went through and what you do on a daily. Its hard to be affectionate when you feel like they are ashamed of your apperence. I hope you make the best desicion for you and your children. Spend time working on you. You deserve that much no matter what you choose to do. I wish you luck and keep your pretty little head high.

@phoebesmommy, he’d be happy if I went back to continue school.

@messybunmom you got this! Keep your chin up! Your an amazing mum and you don't need someone who clearly doesn't deserve or value you as a woman. It will be hard to start again, but you will get there and never look back!

@mamagunn.no.1, thank you, love! ❤️

Hey Hun... I remember you from BB.... it's such a shame to hear this. But I think you've been married a long time, so you may have more wisdom than me....but I think the things you are going through are things that can be worked on. I don't think you should give up on your marriage. I think you both are good people and just need to work on it. No marriage is perfect. I lost my dad in February...and yes it had affected my marriage as well... especially because I brought my siblings and stepmom to live with us. It's a BIG adjustment. Be patient and I think school is a great idea. Some days I wanna go back to work I'm a sahm as well. And yes you forget who you are. But you're doing amazing. And motherhood is a BIG sacrifice.

Has****

@sofie321, we are taking things slow and not jumping on the divorce train yet. We are both trying to figure ourselves out right now. I’m looking into what I want to do for a career right now. Only time will tell! 10 years into a marriage and it’s difficult right now.

Thank you ❤️

@messybunmom I'm so happy to see you are taking steps for you mama.

@messybunmom I'm glad to hear. Marriage is hard work... and I'm only at almost 4 year mark. Hang in there...nothing that is worth it is easy. You're doing great and have been through a lot. I think you figuring what you want to do is great. Keep us updated...some times I wonder what to pursue as well. 💖

@unagie, thank you! 😚

@sofie321, I was wanting something in the medical field but realized that’s not going to make me happy. When I was in nursing school I was thinking about being realtor. So now I’m looking into that. They have online school so that’s a huge plus.. I can work part time until I have more time when my 2 month old gets a little older. I’m leaning towards that more than anything else right now.

You’re right, nothing worth it comes easy in life. Lol

@messybunmom, so is it a definite? Are u definitely getting a divorce? I’m so sorry you’re going through this!! This has to be really hard on u esp after just having your little one!! I’ll be thinking and praying for u!! So sorry mommy

@ss3mom, not getting a divorce *yet*. We’ve talked about it and realized that we aren’t happy with ourselves. I’m exhausted from being a sahm and need to do something for me. To better our future whether we stay together or not. He’s in over his head with work right now and has been working 6-7 days a week for the past I don’t even know how long. We need “me” time and time together without the kids. We are struggling right now emotionally but I don’t want to throw away our marriage when things are tough. I was all for divorce but mike talked me out of it and Just told me to think before we make that step.

Thank you love! ❤️

@messybunmom I think you already know that it can work. That is definitely a lot of stress for both of you. You both work hard and need a break. Maybe even a vacation with only baby because he's so young...I totally understand it though, my hubby and I never get to be alone either and he works a lot too...life is a constant struggle, but you gotta just stay positive!!!!

@messybunmom, I’ve been thinking about you lately. I read your post & I was shocked that you had wanted a divorce. I think it’s super hard not losing yourself and your happiness when you’re busy trying to make your family work on a daily basis. Being a parent is hard, being a wife is hard, and it’s hard making time for yourself. But it’s important. You can’t give and do for others when you aren’t filling your own cup with what makes you happy. I hope you two find time for just yourselves. My SO and I take a vacation every year by ourselves. Small trips even for a couple of days is essential. Sometimes I have to step back and think about who my SO was before we got together and I need to put myself in check. Sometimes I see him remembering who I was too and its eye opening. We’ve known each other since we were 12-13, but it takes me realizing that I need to step back and let him be him, without me molding who I “want” him to be.

@whoswhoo, @spideymama, @sofie321, I completely agree with you ladies.

I felt worthless because I don’t bring in income and I know I would struggle for the time being if I was single mom. Dh assured me that he wouldn’t ever want to see me struggle if we’d divorce. I know he’d always be there because we’ve usually gotten along and we are good friends in our relationship. I wanted a divorce because it was hard hearing him say he didn’t love me the same as when we were younger.

It’s been a real eye opener lately and I’m going to continue working on me and be the best person to myself, because if I’m not the best for me I can’t be the best for my children and my dh. Same goes for him.

I really appreciate your words and advice. ❤️

I know things get hard and we get lost being mom i'm glad you guys were able to talk about it like adults and try to work things out together and individually

@messybunmom, I definitely understand why you were feeling that way. You provide so much more than income though. Taking care of a family day in and out is by far the most difficult job. I’m so glad you’re going to finally prioritize yourself. Marriage is through thick and thin. It’ll not always be easy, that’s for damn sure.

Whatever you choose, I hope it’s the right choice for you and that you are happy 💗

@messybunmom, a friend of mine just got her realtors license. She had a good period of time of studying and then passed her test! She said the hardest part is building clientele, but she is a friend she is learning the ropes from and getting ideas to advertise herself. The best part is, she will be able to mostly be home with her kids and only needs to sell like 4 houses a year to make a decent income.

@rowdy-vajazzy, ya, I heard that’s the hardest part was building clientele. 4 houses?! 😱 that’s not bad for her!

@whoswhoo, @vintageteaspoon, thank you!

@messybunmom, she is in the Bay Area in California so million dollar houses, but competition to get the listing is steep!

@rowdy-vajazzy, lol that was my first thought. That she lived in California lol.