LONG PLEASE READ THO:pic of my babies for attention
This may be long but I'll try to make it as short as possible. Ive been with my S/o a little over a year now. We are expecting a daughter together. Well i have a daughter with someone else as well, who i co-parent very well with, i get a long with him and his girlfriend both. Well my S/o will not let my oldest father come to the house to pick her up or drop her off or even bring me something i need for her! I have to use the gas i DO NOT have and put my child in a car that is currently not safe for anyone to be in to take and pick her up. I am not allowed to talk to her father when i drop her off or pick her up. I have to talk to his mother if i need anything. He isnt stopping him from seeing his daughter, bur stresses me out being like this. He also tells me if we break up he is going to take me for full custody because "two will be too much for you." Okay well fast forward to thw past two nights. My oldest, her dads girlfriend came over to help mw clean hwr bed out so she can sleep in HER bed, my S/O said he will probably just got home (50 miles away) because he cant stay up until midnight. There isnt a difference between my daughyer sleeping in her bed in my room than a new born. He also says "there goes our sex life" basically my child sleeping in her bed is an inconvenience to him. Also last night, my oldest her dad called to ask if i found the diapers he sent home and i didnt and he confused me and i asked if he needed to come over and my s/o gave me the meanest look. And when i finally went to bed last night he was like "i am alarmed at how willing you were to let him just come over." I am so unhappy, i feel trapped. I dont know what to do. I know a lot of you are going to say leave him, i want to, i just dont know how to.
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Oh wow. Yeah that's young. Women are a little different than men in regards to maturity. He has no idea what hes getting into with kids. Even my son's dad is 30 didn't realize what having a kid is like especially coparenting
@kambam he is 19 years old. He is so imature. He is a child himself. Dont get my wrong i got pregnant at 18, had my 1st at 19, pregnant at 20 and having my second at 21, but the difference is I grew up. I grew up the moment i seen two pink lines on a test at 18 years old.
I understand that. But you can't let the loss of any of them stop YOU from being happy and healthy. They may be in your life still after a break and some boundaries. Same for the dad. But in really don't think these situations can get better. Your bf sounds hurt and insecure. He's going thru his own mental issues and really should not be having kids or a relationship. You can always try family therapy before the baby arrives but I would just think it's best to cut ties before anything gets worse. Don't be afraid of him taking the baby because that's really a slim chance.
@ncpmomma of course he does! My son's dad said I was the controlling one because I wasn't ok with him using drugs, I was abusive because I said his drinking was making it hard for him to be a good dad(he got black out drunk daily while I was working). I was the bad parent because I wasn't staying home. They say all kinds of stuff to keep you under their thumb.
@tayler i dont even want a man anymore. I want to get my shit straight to better myself, and to make sure my girls have everything they need and want.
@kambam i love his family, im so scared they are all going to hate me whenever i get to balls to actually leave him...😭😭😭@tiredmom he says im the emotionally abusive one... i am the worst person in the world when i stand up for myself.@janery he BEGGGED me to have a baby with him. I literally mean BEGGED me. I kept telling him i didnt want another until my oldest was 2. They are gonna be 23 months apart which isnt bad but the fact is he would tell me i was making him wait to long. I gave up and just let him do whatever and begam to think i couldnt have kids because of not conciving and now i am pregnant. I dont regret my baby, i love her, but i wish my 2nd babys dad was the same as my first. Not because i am stuck on him, no ive moved on he is happy, but because he is such a fantastic father to the two kids he does have.
Sounds like you need to find yourself a real man.
Yeah he totally shouldn’t be reacting that way. He totally knew u had a baby from a previous relationship and should understand u and him have to speak to each other specially when it has to do with his baby girl. He has no right to your unborn baby. Unless he can prove u are an unfit parent. He’s a jerk! Leave him while u still got the chance . I’m sure u will do just fine with those two beautiful baby girls. Keep your head up high mama
@ncpmomma oh then throw him out!! You're not the worst person in the world, that's how abusive people get control over you. And yes he is abusive. Just because he hasn't put his hand on you doesn't mean what he does isn't abuse. Emotional abuse is a real thing and it makes you feel like you're nothing. I put up with it for far longer than I would care to admit but it's hard to get away from it because you start to believe it. But he's lying to you. You're a good person, you're a good mom, and you're definitely doing the right thing by being friends with your other child's dad and stepmom. He's the one that's the bad person.
If you live with your momma it'll be way easier to leave him lol. Im just saying, been here so many times with stupid ass men. I had a child with one of these stupid ass men. Not only will they treat you this way, they WILL treat their children this way. And if they don't the toxicity he has between you will certainly bleed into the whole family. Once you have a baby it's what's best for them, even if it means being alone or struggling to give them what they need. This is your life and it's very short. Don't let anyone get in the way. Best of luck.
@kambam whenever i stand up for myself i am all of a sudden the worst person in the world. @tiredmom we live with my mom.
He can't take your new baby, he would have to prove you to be unfit and you definitely don't sound like you are. He sounds overly controlling. Yes you definitely need to leave before it gets worse. Do you have any family that can help you get back on your feet?
He sounds like a controlling asshole. "Not allowed" is something for children not grown adults. You need to stand up for yourself and say I'M A FUCKING ADULT AND I HAD A LIFE BEFORE YOU. IF YOU CAN'T GROW UP AND HANDLE THAT THEN YOU KNOW WHERE THE DOOR IS. He needs an ultimatum either he leaves your relationship w other family alone or you'll leave. And honestly, I doubt he'll get full custody right out the door it's difficult. He would have to prove paternity to court.
- Hmm. It would be ugly. But you’re only 15 weeks. You could very easily have a “miscarriage” from all the stress.. being able to co parent is amazing. So kudos there. I love that his girlfriend was so helpful. It’s obvious he’s with someone, so I’ve got no clue why your new guy is being such a big titty about it. It sounds like you know what needs done, just maybe didn’t know how to go about doing it. I’m a bit of a dick. His sex life would have been over the moment he tried to control me. 💪🏻 I hope you figure something out. ❣️