How can I fix this? sorry might be long and drawn out
My SO always complains about the house and how I don't cook or get my hair done, but I can't find the energy to do anything. I'm the only one that works and pays bills at the apartment and I'm suffering from PTSD and major depression. I'm always getting called stupid or lazy. I don't have money to get my hair done and I ride 40 minutes in my car with no A/C to work, so if I do it myself it'll look terrible by the time I get there. I'm tired and I don't know what to do. When I get home, I just can't move and need to sleep, so if my floors need mopping or the dishes need washing I feel like it can wait.
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He lost his job and he cooks and cleans, but he's upset because he feels like I'm not helping him. Thanks for the replies because I always feel like the bad guy. My brother and his SO came to visit for the week and he keeps telling my brother how lucky he is to have his girlfriend because she loves to cook. It hurts.
You can fix it by kicking his butt out. He has no right to talk to you like that. And he really needs to help out around the house, it's not just your job. Before I was pregnant, even on my off days I'd put make up on and a cute outfit, now there's days where it's lucky if I even put on pants. Growing a human is hard work even if others can't tell that from just looking. I agree with a PP about getting him to read a book about pregnancy. However if he's just being verbally abusive and unwilling to respect you and help you out, then you shouldn't stick around or bring your baby into that kind of environment.
He has no right to complain about anything if he isn't contributing anything. If he isn't helping you you should get rid of him. It seems you're doing it all by yourself anyway. A real man would help you and build you up instead of tearing you down and making you feel bad. I'm sorry but he is not a real man. A real man also wouldn't even dream of sitting back on his lazy good for nothing butt and letting his pregnant woman pull all the weight. I'm really sorry you are going through this and I know what I'm posting is very blunt but it is the truth. I really suggest you take a long look at why you are with someone like that? What does he actually bring to the relationship? Do you want to go through this and feel this way for the rest of your life? I think you're an amazing woman for doing all that you do on your own, this guy is only going to hold you back and keep you down. You deserve better.
That is just so not fair of him to put that on you! Why can't he clean up? And why do you need to get your hair done?
God, my hair is up in a messy bun and I live in my jarmies whenever I am home and if my partner complained about that I would send him out the door!
You're working and growing a baby, it's so exhausting and males don't understand how hard on the body it actually is growing a child, tell him to read a book on pregnancy and appreciate what you're doing for him!
If he isn't happy with how the house is he can clean it himself!
I hate seeing women be disrespected and treated like they have to do everything, he should be helping you out as much as possible. :(
You don't need to fix anything, he needs to fix his attitude like pp said!
I think the only thing that needs to be fixed is his attitude. Have you already told him how you're feeling and everything? To me it sounds like the way he is acting is way out of line. I'm also curious if he works or does anything to help you out around the house? If he doesn't then he really has no right to say anything..actually either way he has no right to say anything like that! He should not be calling you names at all. You are making a baby, working, and it sounds like you're doing the best can considering the way that you feel. If it was me and he kept it up I would definitely move on.
Does he live there without paying any bills?? What does he do all day. I don't even have a job outside the home and I'm really tired just doing day to day upkeep and cooking. I can't imagine having to work too. My husband doesn't dare say anthing to me. I'm 44, pregnant, and carrying his child. He will get an ear full.
Well if you're the one growing a human, working and paying for the apartment, bills and food, then it's only fair that he cleans and cooks since he's not doing anything else. Sometimes things aren't 50/50, sometimes couples don't split cooking 50/50, or cleaning 50/50 or whatever. Life gets messy sometimes and you just have to deal. But he still has no right to make you feel bad. Anyone who does that is a d-bag in my opinion.