I hope by the time baby comes we can at least be cordial. I would love to coparent with no drama.

So sad that an innocent child will be born and raised in this situation. :(

Thanks everyone for your responses.

@haylot: we were together. I took that text as a breakup. Just a day before that text he wanted my help. I wouldn't have been sending him anything of he didnt ask for help.

I talked to his mom and told her I don't mind telling her anything but don't relay messages for him. He needs to grow up. She agreed and said she will stay out of it so im satisfied

If they were together and he wanted her help then that would be different. But if she's contacting him with jobs and they aren't together I think if it were me I would be irritated. Especially at such a sensitive time.

Most men (and women) take providing for their family pretty seriously, so he's probably not thrilled he lost his job.

I would be more understanding if the reason why if he'd been looking for a long time or asked for her help.

If they aren't together it's not really her place.

Not sure if I have the scenario right, but if you were together, sent him a relevant job and that was his response is be pretty peeved too. That's not acceptable. If that's the only reason you split up then it seems like a bit of a knee jerk reaction though.

Katoria: Just tell the mom to tell her son that he can contact you if he wants info on his unborn. . That's childish. I know you want them in the baby's life but you shouldn't have to beg them. . I'm sorry you are dealing with this mama

Then don't contact him. Why would you go out your way to let him know what's going on. He needs to be coming to you to find out what's going on thats his priority not his mommy's. I would start making peace with the fact that he us currently not ready to be in your life and finish out this pregnancy with you. Do what you need to do but don't call his mother.

It's his baby. I wouldn't respond to her texts. If he wants to know then he should be the one to inquire NOT his mom. If anything she should be telling him to stop acting so childish. He knows better and she shouldn't even be involved in that mess anyway as she knows its petty. I'm sorry if I missed anything as I have not read through the comments. I understand he may be stressed and all that but WTH??, he needs to grow TF up! Sorry.

I personally wouldn't bother with either of them. If I just HAD to tell him anything, I'll be calling HIM not his mom. If he ignores then that's on him. Take a step back. If he wants to be involved, he will come around and be involved like he is supposed to. If not, then you know where you stand. The sooner you know what it is or what it's not the better prepared you can be. Sorry you are dealing with this.

This whole not together thing just started. He was still my boyfriend up until the day he sent that message. I've been helping him with jobs and everything else he needed since he first lost the job because he needed the help and never done an application on his own. Im definately not being condescending because I'm going through it myself. I'm no better than him.

Pp how is that condescending if they were just living together a month ago? She's trying to help the man find a job so he can take care of his responsibility. He should be thankful

Going against the grain here, but if you aren't together there is no reason for you to be 'helping' him find a job. That would be very condescending and no doubt making him angry which could explain him wanting to communicate through a third party.

I would text him details about appts but keep it simple / basic information. I would also be happy enough to tell mil anything she enquired about, but I wouldn't be chasing her with information.

Really at this point there's not much for him to do until baby is born.

I would say that if for now communications are smoother through his mother then just do it. It might save you both a lot of stress. You can't just opt out of dealing with him once you have the baby.

IMO they are both immature to be doing that. If he really cared about his child he would ask you, not get word from someone else.

Next time she says anything just tell her that if he wants to be involved he can contact you himself.

It's just childish to do that probably because he just doesn't want to talk to you! What is he going to do when your child is born? Get his mother to pick her up??

And he shouldn't have a say in a name being he cant contact you himself

She (the mom) could be hearing things that don't add up with her son and is just turning to you to clarify things. I'd ask. Be prepared for her answer if it's not what you expected.

I want them both in the baby's life but the way the mom asked she said he said blah blah blah. She didn't ask with her own words. I couldn't believe she went along with it. I thought she would've known better

U I wouldn't contact his mom or him. If he doesn't want to act like an adult than he wouldn't get any info from me!

Sounds like your ex SO is a little bit immature, but maybe his mom is contacting you because she genuinely wants to be a part of this child's life. Are you in the right to keep that from her? From him, maybe.

Ask his mother straight out if she really wants to be there. Mothers and sons think differently.

I wouldn't tell his mother anything. If he wants to be part of your childs life he needs to contact you like a responsible adult. I would his mother that he needs to contact you for more info & that HE can update her.

I wouldn't even bother.

Tell him when he decides to act like an adult to let you know.

I would tell her that the person contacting you will be the person who gets to coparent the child. That oughta get their attention pretty good.

My SO is older than me too, and honestly, if he started acting half his age, he already knows I'd remove him from the picture. Our kids need adults parenting them, not self-indulged brats

It's hard but just stand your ground. If he wants to be involved, let him but he needs to make the effort to work with you and get over acting childish. Just keep records of everything so he can't say you were keeping information from him or keeping lo from him once he/she is here. Being the bigger person will pay off in the long run :)

I could've told him about the appt myself and hung up the phone. Im not pressed on talking to him about anything else but being civil is kind of hard because he's just so immature.

I would tell her if he wants to be involved in the pregnancy then he can contact you. Don't talk to him about stuff other than the baby if it seems to bother him.

He seems immature, all you can do us try to be civil.