Going to bed angry? My husband just made a rather insensitive comment and I'm so upset about it, I can't even begin to…

I don't think what he said was wrong. Men and women communicate differently. In my opinion he said nothing to hurt you but given how vulnerable you are it was taken bad by you. But I think he simply meant by saying we cannot afford for you to be like that meant, babe you are such an integral part of this family without you on top of your game we would be lost. I and the kids need you and if trying for another child now is going to make you depressed babe maybe we should hold off on that until you are truly ready. Men are from a different planet. But honestly I don't see what he said being bad. Just said in a practical way like a man. But you know your husband and how he speaks. I'm glad he apologized. And yes I agree if it bothered you so much you need to sit and resolve it. Hope you are in better spirits today mama. Have a blessed weekend.

Thanks ladies! I ended up just going to bed (angry) and when we woke up this morning, he gave me a hug, kiss and said he was sorry. We didn't talk about it anymore than that because the kids were up, but hopefully we can discuss it at some point today. I forgive him but I want to resolve it and not just sweep it under the rug.

We try not to go to bed angry, but sometimes one just needs to sleep on it. Sometimes I just want to sit on my phone and not talk, he usually sits on the computer and its our way to cool down. Most of the time we speak before we go to bed, other times it's in the morning when we get up.

If we don't speak about it that night we definitely speak about it in the morning as we don't like to start a new day angry lol c

I hate the saying never go to bed angry. And I truely believe anyone who says they abide by it is lying. There's times that it really is just better to get a good night sleep and half the time when you wake up you feel silly realizing how dumb the fight was.

Op, in your case, I hope he wakes up tomorrow and realizes that what he said was completely insensitive. Anyone who has a miscarriage, even very early on, will have those fears. It's impossible not to. For him to imply that you aren't allowed those feelings is completely unfair.

I think going to bed angry is helpful at times. Often, I wake up and realize it isn't as big a deal as I thought OR I am able to discuss it rationally.

I know, I was being open and vulnerable and I'm sure I could have taken it the wrong way. But even if he meant it in a nice way, there were so many things he could have said instead of that. So many reassuring things.

This is one of those moments where the pot was about to spill over and that was the last little drop I could take. He hasn't really been there for me emotionally over the last month. He never brings up Enoch anymore. I get that life goes on and I really don't expect anyone else to bring him up, but I do expect my husband to. I think I just allowed all of it to upset me and it just shut me down. We just had a little argument over it. Nothing terrible, but I am done talking. I'm going out of the country for 10 days on Sunday, maybe that will give him some time to think about everything and we can both clear our heads.

Awww I'm sorry. Yea I do think that was an insensitive thing to say. He probably has alot of emotions he's trying to deal with also right now. Most men aren't very good at talking about their emotions & some aren't good at helping us through ours, especially with greif. I'm sure he didn't mean it to come out that way. I'm sorry hun. ?

I don't think he was trying to hurt your feelings. You said you were talking it out, probably listing some pros and cons. You said if you get pregnant, you may be fearful. In return, he said that he doesn't think you can afford to be when you have children to take care of. It honestly sounds like he was just making a point for possibly waiting a while to TTC.

Exc, I think men are wired different. They never carried a baby.... So they don't understand and we can't expect them to understand to the fullest. They can only do what they can.

As some of you may know, we lost our son in December at 20 weeks. We were talking about the possibility of trying again in a few months. I was opening up and telling him that while right now, I feel very at peace and comfortable in trying and hopefully becoming pregnant again, I have this huge fear that when/if we get our BFP, I will be so afraid during the pregnancy - which isn't something I've experienced before because I've been pregnant 4 times and never had those fears until the awful day when we found out our sons heart stopped.

He responded, "well, we have three other kids we have to take care of. We can't really afford for you to be like that."

1) what the heck does that even mean?!?

2) Really dude? Here I am being open and vulnerable about my fears and you somehow equate that to me being an inadequate mother for 9 months?!

I don't get it. Am I just being sensitive given what we were discussing and what we just went through or was that a complete bone head thing for him to say? I guess I was expecting some reassurance. Maybe for him to remind me how strong we've been through this all and how we can lean on each other.... instead - I get that??

He's on the couch right now, probably playing ps4

Lovebabykhy that is us!!!! Must be the ego!! I need to bring my man to bed. You, too ?

@shan I'm not big on communication, especially with hard feelings lol, but SO always insists on talking it out afterwards ?

When it's reeeeally bad, he'll go sleep on the couch and I'll either go get him in the night or he'll come to bed sometime before morning. We just are hot headed and sometimes need our space to cool down.

Pumpkin i think you think how he thinks. I get that we need.to cool down but feels like day rest is ok. Not me. Sleeping alone to me is not a good sign

Lovebabykhy thatbis us sometimes. No one says sorry but we know we are. And we cuddke dueing the night but never talk.about.it. I need to talk it out lol

Sometimes it's best for us to just call it a night and not discuss it. I know people say to never go to bed angry but sometimes talking before you're ready can lead to a bigger fight. I'd rather have some time to myself to calm down and think more rationally

He had a rough day at work today he claims but why take it out on me?? I can't help you had a hard day. Bull s*** .

After you cool down for a bit talk to him. Acknowledge the issue so that he knows how hurtful it was.

What did he say? I do like to go to bed angry, I can't stay mad at my SO too long though.

Sometimes we go to bed angry; it's just easier that way. Me and SO are both pretty hot tempered and stubborn. We will still sleep in the same bed together; usually in the night, one of us will find the other and cuddle. Then in the morning, we are rested and calm and whoever was at fault will apologize.

Except I left to get me and my children dinner and came home and went to my room.

Yes girlllll I'm there right now!!!

What'd he say?? ??