I lied! Second post today, sorry... but I lied to my best friend today and I feel bad about it. She's in jail and I put…
I lied!
Second post today, sorry... but I lied to my best friend today and I feel bad about it. She's in jail and I put some money on my phone so she can call me. Today she asked me to call two people for her, one so I could get another persons number who might bail her out and the other person about putting money on her commissary account. I asked who these people were and she said they were the friends she was staying with before she went to jail... AKA drug addicts and criminals. I asked why she couldn't call them and she said she has but they weren't answering. She asked me to call them from my house number while I was on the phone with her.
deleted-user·
When my friend was locked up, I called people for him off an app called textfree you can pick a random number and they can't trace it to you.
deleted-user·
Went through a similar incident with my fiancés sister a while back. I absolutely would not call them. If they do bail her out, she'll go right back to what she was doing before. Not only that but the jail may not allow her to call those numbers, she might just be tricking you.
Ashley Roan·
I just felt put on the spot. I will always be here for her to offer her advice and listen to her, but I made it very clear years ago I would never give her money or a place to stay because of my children.
We've been best friends for 26 years and I had to distance myself from her around 8 years ago when I found out she was using heroin. She's done some dumb stuff, some really dumb stuff, I just wish I could have helped her, but she made her own bed.
Ashley Roan·
Was that directed at me lgoins? I didn't end my friendship with her. I am just not going to risk my children's safety by having her around them, nor will I enable her habit by giving her money. That doesn't make me a bad friend.
deleted-user·
I don't blame you, I wouldn't call them and if they aren't answering gif her they obviously don't want to hear from her either.
It sucks that she's in there but I wouldn't be putting money on her card either.
Ashley Roan·
Oh ok, sorry! I was confused!
@sparkling - I don't know if it is anonymous or not. I think it is.
deleted-user·
Why not just dial *67 so you can call private.
As far as putting all that money on her books or even money for her to call is expensive. Stop doing that. She can also get a calling card where she has to pay to call you not you paying .
Where is her family ?
deleted-user·
I wouldn't put money on her account. If she got bailed out she gets what is left. She then could use to feed her habit.
I honestly would cut her off as a friend. As a parent I have to make wise decisions who I help and who is in my life. I don't want that around my kids they don't exposed to it. It doesn't make me a bad friend for cutting a friend out of my life when they don't think about you when they ask for things that could take away from your children. Drugs and abuse is the reason why my son will never meet his bio dad. The prosecutor on the case looked at his background and agree it was the best thing I could do for my child and my other two children.
Ashley Roan·
Well the judge didn't give her a bond so she has to go to a bond hearing this week. If they still deny it, she'll be stuck there for months until her trial/sentencing. I honestly don't think she will be getting out any time soon and I highly doubt these "friends" she wanted me to call would give her any money. They are addicts too.
Her husband is in another jail until Christmas Eve. Her mother is an alcoholic and her dad has essentially cut her off given everything she's done in the last decade. She has no one really, which I honestly think is good for her. She needs to hit rock bottom and this might be it. I told her the other day, as hard as it is to see her in jail, I'd much rather her there than dead.
deleted-user·
What did she do to be denied bond ?
Her life sounds awful, but I wouldn't be the one to save her.
Ashley Roan·
I don't know the specifics but she stole something. It's her third strike and she was on probation for her previous theft (which was stealing toiletries from walmart) so the judge denied her bond, which I fully support. She needs to feel this one. She's gotten off too many times.
deleted-user·
Honestly I don't think I would even put money on her commissary only BC she's needs to feel the consequences to her actions. Tough love. But also that's easier said than done.
So many people enabled me in my addiction and although I can look back and know that they didn't know any better or thought they were helping, it only furthered me from getting the help I need. Definitely don't feel bad for lying to her, people in their addiction cannot be trusted, you did what was best for yourself and your family. Its probably best she doesn't get out like pp said, she would be back at it. Pm me if you have questions or support op.
You're a great friend and I was blessed with amazing friends that stuck through the worst with me, and its not always that way. I wish there were more people like you in this world.