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@weld, I am not hormonal at all. LOL
I'm actually a pretty easy going wife. I let him do whatever he wants, he goes snowboarding nearly every weekend while I stay home with 3 kids, his entire family is living with us for crying out loud. But when he does something that blatantly upsets me and comes up with an overly defensive and condescending attitude acting as though I have absolutely no reason to be upset, then yeah - I'm not going to want to talk right then and there.
We've been married for nearly 9 years and he knows me well enough to know that's exactly how to start a fight with me, which is not what I wanted to happen at that moment.
Also, you know how men can be. When he came up the first time, he was so aggressive with his attitude. He wasn't seeking to solve anything really. He said "So, why are you mad? What did I do to piss you off?" in such a condescending manner. If he had come up and even seemed remotely sincere, I would have tried to talk with him then.
I didn't feel comfortable going to him though because he was constantly surrounded by his family. If I were to go down there and say "hey, let's go talk now", I felt like his whole family would know something was up and then butt in. If for even one moment he was alone last night, I would have tried to talk to him. I went down there 3 times and he was with his brother or mother each time.
I didn't lock him out, but when he came up to bed he was snoring so loudly from drinking, I woke him up once and asked him to roll over. He pitched a fit, grabbed his pillow and went to sleep on the couch.
When a guy tries to talk about things putting them off
Basically tells them you're over it or don't care to resolve it. Men don't think to themselves oh she's emotional right now I'll come back later. They see it as
Screw it. I tried. Now when you want to resolve he will say he tried (he did) and you refused.
No don't kick him out.
You go to him. Be the bigger person and explain that you are now ready to resolve this. That earlier you felt you were too emotional. (This is all from years of experience. Dh and i used to fight like crazy) we have had many years of bliss thanks to a deeper understanding. This is one lesson that was learned)
My hubby knows not to try talking to me immediately after an argument or fight that I've gotten emotional during. Because honestly that's only going to make it 100 times worse! I usually go into our bedroom by myself or take a bath for an hour or so and cool down and then we talk. He knows to wait until I initiate the conversation though. Maybe your dh was just waiting for you to come to him when you had calmed down?
I feel like if he was in the wrong despite him attempting to talk, it isn't up to you to settle things. He needs to fix it. And I'd be livid af if he was downstairs chatting it up and knew I was so upset upstairs. However, I wouldn't lock him out. Just go to bed without him. He knows he's in trouble. Sleeping on the couch will resolve nothing.
Hope you feel better tomorrow op.
You're right, it would just make a bad situation worse. I'll just go to bed and talk to him in the morning. ?
I just told him I didn't want to talk about it right then because I knew I'd get emotional. I knew if I started crying, it would open the flood gates since I'm pretty stressed and overwhelmed by everything that's been going on at home.
Me & my DF hardly ever argue. Let alone fight. Yesterday we had a horrible argument where I said I was growing tired of his bad attitude. (He argued with me at the grocery store in front of my younger brother - inappropriate place & time). We got home and some things were said and I slept in my son's nursery. I had to use the restroom in the middle of the night & he locked the door so I just used his brother's bathroom.
It's been over 24 hours and he hasn't attempted to talk to me.
This is the worst argument/fight we've ever had. ?
Sorry for ranting on your post. I just needed somewhere to do it.
If he came upstairs and you refused to talk to him it sounds like you were the one not trying to resolve the issue. He is probably keeping his distance until he thinks you have cooled down. Personally, I would want to at least discuss what was said. If I'm still mad, then discussion about other sleeping arrangements could be made.
I wouldn't.
But only because you say he did come and try to talk earlier.
Maybe just let it go for now, try and sleep and talk about it in the morning? Not sure what time it is there.
Having said that I guess it also depends on how bad he hurt your feelings. Like what the nature of what he said was etc.
We talked a little bit about it, not much. I think we'll talk more at bed. We did make up though. ?
Tonight he took us all out for a nice family dinner. I think he realized that, most of all, me and the kids are just really missing "family time" since we haven't had a second alone since his family moved in. It was just what the doctor ordered!!?