He cried! :-( My husband doesn't talk about his childhood a lot, not about the bad things anyway.

Support him, listen to him, hold him. Suggest counciling.

just hold him and let him cry.

Aww do you think maybe he is depressed? My so was off his depression Meds and started acting that way. Always angry... It's much better now.

Just listen and comfort. My finances dad died when he was younger and he still cries sometimes. I always cry too because it makes me sad to see him so upset.

I did, I let him cry for a while and I just hugged him the whole time. I suggested counseling but he doesn't think it will help, even though I know it will.

What are some ways I can convince him counseling is good?

He says he needs to find a new outlet. When he was a kid, he said he used skateboarding. He says now he only had snowboarding and can only do that seasonally.

Maybe see if you can go together at first. Having you there may encourage him to be able to relax and talk. Most important thing you can do is simply listen to him. ?

What are some other things that he enjoys/enjoyed doing? That's where I'd start and then just go from there.

I would def recommend counceling. I used to be the same way and it made such an impact on me! Now I feel like I slip back in to that sometimes and have talked to my husband and will be getting counceling again! Good luck to you both.

I think a lot of people need to come to the counselling thing on their own time. Sometimes if you start going on your own it shows them that it can really help.

As far as outlets, what about boxing or martial arts. Most martial arts will also involve meditation and self discipline which will help him relax and control his anger.

Thanks ladies!! I am hoping we can talk more after the kids are in bed. I will suggest counseling again but won't push it.

Tonight I went grocery shopping, made a delicious dinner and cookies, and cleaned up the house. I wanted it to be nice for him when he walked in the door. I know a messy house stresses me out so I hope it helped. :-)

I'm the exact same way as your husband. I take out my bottled up anger on my fiance, then I feel really guilty about it & end up beating myself up over it because I know I'm wrong, which makes me even angrier...it's a never ending vicious cycle.

I have so much hate towards myself that I can't even let this wonderful man love me:(

& I'm very quiet about my feelings, I don't like to talk about whats bothering me. But I do write about my feelings mainly poetry, but I don't share those with anyone either, once when I first moved in with my fiance he found some of my poems, I was so angry that he read them...

Then there are the times I have a breakdown & tell him how I really don't want to be this way. Because I really don't it's just so hard especially after keeping everything bottled up inside for so long.

so my advice to you...be there for him, listen when he does want to talk, don't judge him...

Sorry my reply was so long...i can just relate a little.

Dh suffered in the same way.

I told him he needed someone who can help him and not me. I would stand by him and support him, but I could not fix him (nor did i want to.)

The most important thing I did for me and for the kids was keep ourselves safe and not be the object of his anger.

I would tell him I am not his ex-wife or his stepmom or whoever else it was that treated him badly.

Anger is a tough emotion to understand. It is not a primary emotion, it is a symptom of something else (depression, insecurity, etc).

And our society doesn't let men express any negative emotion except anger. If a man says he's scared, lonely, sad, confused, he gets labeled as a weak person.

Dh ended up getting professional help when he saw how much it hurt his family. But that was his decision. It had to be otherwise he would not have been ready to put the work in that was needed.

Good luck. It's a hard position to be in I know.

Thanks for all of the advice ladies! I know this is going to be a long journey but I will do whatever it takes. At first I had told him he needed to leave for a few days and maybe when he came back, he would realize what he had at home. Then when he started crying, I knew it was more than that. We also fight a lot, mainly because I am not one to let someone talk to me or treat me inappropriately. So when he Walks around mad all the time and says/does things, I won't put up with it, thus resulting in a fight.

I really hope it gets better!

Get him in to see a counselor... The only way he is going to get better and feel better is to talk that ish out... :) Hoping y'all the best!