Does the punishment fit the crime?

How old is your dd and nephew?

If she is over the age of 5 then I agree with your husband. That was really malicious. She knew your nephew really wanted his mommy and she intentionally told him she was there and got his hopes up when she wasn't. So she could make him sad again when he realized it. That took logical thought and was cruel.

Both are 6 years old. Also, she is very well aware he wanted his mom last night cause she was rubbing his back telling him it would be okay.

That was rather spiteful of your daughter. I'd agree with your husband.

I'd be so upset if my child did that. If gymnastics is important to her then I agree with your husband. I'd also be using that time tonight to have a talk with her about how wrong and hurtful her actions were to her cousin.

Reason I ask is because I agree with my husband and stand by his decision, DDs bio dad does not agree with the punishment though. He isn't one for disciplining her when she has done something wrong.

Yaya, I spoke with her this morning and explained to her that she hurt his feelings and she was wrong and that if someone did that to her she would be upset too. I'm shocked that she did that. She is a very good girl but has her moments like any child.

Poor kid ? hopefully he feels better soon once with his mom .

I agree that it's appropriate, even if it's out of character for her. I doubt she'll do something like that again. I think you're handling it well.

I sure hope she doesn't do something like this again, I'm dumbfounded that she would in the first place. I gave him big hugs to make him feel better.

Definitely deserves some punishment, that was really spiteful of her! I'd be so mad if my daughter did that! Unless she genuinely thought his mum would be there in the morning to pick him up then I'd be a bit more lenient but at that age she should be finding things like that out first before saying it!

Technically to make it fit, tonight tell her you changed your mind and after she gets exited tell her you were just kidding...

But that's a little mean... even... but mean

Such a nasty, nasty thing for her to do. I really hope your nephew is ok :(

I think the punishment you and your husband agreed on is fine. Her father may like letting her get away with being a bully but at least you guys are on top of it.

Let me clear this up. This is definitely out of character for my daughter. She is the mother hen as her teacher says of her class. She is kind hearted and a good child. She made a mistake and I definitely would not say my daughter is a bully. She was completely wrong in this situation but this is the first time she has ever done anything like this. It doesn't make her a bully.

She's 6...6yo are like that sometimes. They don't think before acting. That's why you punish them, so next time she'll think.

What she did is a step towards it and you have said your ex isn't one for disciplining her. I didn't say she was a bully but what she did was bully her cousin and something her father would apparently just let slide. You guys however aren't and that will show her straight away it is wrong and lead her down the right track.

I'd have to agree with Nanc on this one.

Take away entertainment at home as punishment.

In her mind, she probably wasn't trying to be spiteful. Kids can be mean without fully understanding how their actions directly effect how others feel. I think it's a fair punishment, especially to use that time to explain this to her.

Nancy, I agree with you if it is a team sport or if she is part of a competition gymnastics group. I'm assuming that these are lessons that don't impact others, but I could be wrong.

It's not a team sport. She is just going for lessons. It doesn't impact anyone if she doesn't attend.

I agree with Nancy, for the reasons she stated and one additional: I don't believe in using healthy things as part of rewards or punishments. Gymnastics or any sport (especially at a young age) sets your child up for healthy habits and (hopefully) a lifelong love of exercise. I wouldn't take away exercise, as well as time spent learning to master a skill that requires both physical strength and mental acumen. I would take away something less necessary (like screen time or use of a particular toy.)

Gymnastics wasn't at all related to the "crime." She didn't do something wrong at gymnastics practice. So I wouldn't start on a path where exercise is earned through good behavior. Additionally, I know that for my kids, sports is a big outlet for them. Any day spent cooped up in the house too long is at risk of whining and possible bad behavior bc they haven't had that physical outlet.

I think she was just trying to help..??‍♀️

Brunch, I totally see where you're coming from. That's a very good point.

Brunch I totally see where you are coming from. She will have tv time and her favorite toy taken away tomorrow instead of gymnastics. By the time we get home from gymnastics she doesn't have time to play.

The punishment had been given stick to it. Gynmastics is a privilege so taking it away is fine.

I think that would be a typical thing for a 6 year old to do. Punish and move on. She won't do it again.

I think I'm the odd one here but I really don't think she meant to hurt him. I think that she thought she was helping by getting him to come down. In that moment he was crying and she was probably trying to do her best to help him stop but not realize how that would make him feel.

It's wrong and she needs to learn that it's not right and to never do it again but I wouldn't get too upset at her for it. Sorry this happened.

I agree with pp. With this much story it sounds like it was not done maliciously.