I don't know what to do.

Five exactly. He is trying to make himself feel better. He can kick rocks. DD got her hair cut and we went to the fest for a little bit and now she is gonna help me cook dinner.

Wth. What does your relationship with him have anything rondo with him ditching his daughter? Regardless of how you guys get along, he should care what SHE thinks, about HER disappointment. Smh. Sounds like he's just trying to relieve a guilty conscience by blaming you. ?

Snarf that's exactly what I told him. That she comes first and he should have cancelled his other plans. He tried placing blame on me because he "always loses with me" which isn't the case. After 3 years of being gone I gave him the benefit of the doubt and allowed him back in her life after he left her before. I've been nothing but understanding and kind after what he has done to her. I invite him to do things as a family with my husband there of course. We went apple picking last week with him, that's the last time he saw her. And I told him a few weeks ago he should be seeing her at least 2 times a week.

He should be telling the people involved in his plan #2 that he forgot he already made plans with his daughter!!!

I'm sorry OP.

This is sad.. For both your daughter and her dad. I would restrain myself from even mentioning anything to her until hes on his way. Many people cant keep their word. ?

That sucks. See if you can salvage her day by dong something fun. May not be what she was wishing for but she will always remember mom is always there. Don't bash the dad or say anything I'll about him. Just tell her sorry dad couldn't make it and find something to do with her. Bake cookies, watch a movie, go for a walk. Something, anything.

Totally saw your going to do something after I posted.

This makes me so sad :( I'm sorry. I'd probably say something like "I'm sorry daddy can't take you today, but I'd love to having a special day together if that's okay. Did you still want to go? What do you want to do?"

Im sorry, that sucks. My dad used to do stuff like that all the time. Actually, he still does. I remember my mom always trying to cover for him. It sucked.

Yeah I asked her what she wanted to do. We are gonna go get her hair trimmed then go.

Could you have taken her? I know it doesn't fix him cancelling but it's something

She is 5. I'm not going to tell her anymore but because he made it sound like he was gonna be on his way in a few. My mistake for telling her.

This sounds exactly like my DD1s bio dad. Out of the picture for 3 years then decides he wants back in only to cancel his court ordered supervised visits.

If it were me and she was looking forward to the festival is take her to do that. The haircut she's been asking for is also a good idea since it's something you know she wants. And I like the ice cream idea too because well it's ice cream ?

In the future I wouldn't let her know when he says he will do something for fear of further rejection. If he does show it will be more of a surprise. And surprises can be nice.

I'd stop subjecting her to disappointment. Don't tell her he's getting her, so it's a surprise when he does. If he blows her off again, stop communication with him. She doesn't deserve to be blown off.

There's nothing you can say to make it better as sad as it is. My dad used to do the same when I was a child. It's hard. She'll figure out how he really is as she gets older. Just be there for her. Maybe take her out for a mommy/daughter day.

DH and I were thinking about taking her to get her hair trimmed because she has been asking for it and DS needs a hair cut then we were thinking about an indoor inflatable place to take her. I flipped out on him. I don't know if I was wrong the way I went about it but I wasn't rationally thinking when I yelled at him. He says he is trying but it seems a lot more like he doesn't care.

What is it with these arsehole parents not showing up or ditching the kids. Urgh, so many tonight ?

Are you able to take her out for a bit? Take her and have some icecream or something. Show her that it is his loss.

As for him I'd be letting him know that from now on you won't be telling her he is coming and getting her hopes up. So next time he either comes or gets the hell out of her life. She isn't some toy he can just stop playing with when he feels like ?