Very nervous someone please help

I feel like this is a spur of the moment thing because we were on the radio. It went from being awesome she won tickets to turning into a s*** storm cause he was listening to that station at that exact moment. He made it clear before he can't see me so I'm confused on how he intends to even see her. None of his family is involved in her life at all, his mother left my daughter in the wind just like he did. I just wish he would have left us alone.

I know this is a totally different case from mine too, but in my town a little girl was in the car with her dad who was under the influence of drugs. He crashed into a tree and she needed reconstructive surgery on her face to fix the damage and the judge still allowed the dad to have partial custody of her. It's the same judge for our custody case. Yes he does pay child support. Forced by the court.

Sparkling no I don't. I never used an attorney before for our family court, but it seems as if I'm going to have to get one.

Should I hear him out? Or do I fell im to take me to court? What do I do?

You have court papers already that say he has joint legal and visitation. How long has it been since he saw her?

I think we have something like that at work. I'll have to ask. I'm scared about going back to court because of the crappy judge we have. I feel like my ex will get what he wants and hurt my daughter in the process. I feel like I should hear him out then ask him what he wants. He is really good at trying to make me feel bad.

Tell him since she doesn't know him, he needs to do supervised visits and find and pay for a place that offers it. If he seriously wants to see her he will put in the effort and money but I don't see that happening. If you make it easy for him, he most likely will see her for a few months at best and then disappear again. But if he has to put a lot of effort and money into it, he probably won't bother. But you'll probably never have the opportunity to have him sign over his tights. If you apply to sever his rights, he'll fight it and apply for more visitation. I hate men like that who drop the ball on parenting but then don't want to allow some else who has been there there every day and done the job the opportunity to be the dad officially.

PP thank you! I'm going to ask my job to see what they say. I don't want to put her through this but idk if they will consider it abandonment because he does still pay child support and when I flipped on him one day he started paying me for half of her daycare expenses.

Personally I'd say no.. He doesn't want you there? Do you know how scared she'll be being left alone with a man she doesn't know? No way I'd put her through that..

I'm also speaking from personal experience.. My DD 2 has never met her sperm donor.. He was in prison until a year ago.. He got out of prison demanding to keep her weekends, I laughed at him.. He's not on her birth certificate, he has no rights, but I wasn't going to take my then 2 year old and just drop her off with some guy she'd never laid eyes on before..

He hasn't tried contacting me in a year after I told him to pay for a paternity test.. He thought I'd pay for it.. LoL

I agree with happy and raven.

I would hear him out. There's a reason why he had tuned into that radio station at that exact moment. Whether it's to terminate his rights, or whether he's matured and wants to be an active part.

If he does plan on being active in her life and being fully committed, your lo would resent you if you kept him from her.

You know him best. If you feel he is full of shat, then proceed with termination.

Good luck!

I would tell him no, having a dad who doesn't want to be part of your life is a world full of hurt. I was a complete daddies girl and I have now come to realize he never wanted anything to do with me. My mom tried keeping us connected but stopped when I was 13 which is the last time I ever spoke with him, I choose that he doesn't want to be a part in my life(no phone calls, no birthday or Christmas cards etc.)then I don't want to be a part of his. Coming to this conclusion took a long and painful time, and I many years and years of crying and sadness.

I would have been grateful for a step dad who took me in, right now it seems he wants to see her for the spur of the moment. It just doesn't seem like he will stick around, let your df fill the empty daddy hole in her heart and don't confuse her with her real dad until he proves he will take it seriously this time.

I'd tell him no. Being a dad you don't get to come in and out whenever you choose. It hurts the child. She has come to closure her dad isn't around. If he bounces on her again. I wish it were criminal.

It's sad it took the radio to remind him he has a daughter at all.

Look up your state laws for step parent adoption. My state has stipulations for doing it and if there has been no contact for a year it's child abandonment, no child support, and proof of unfit parenting. I say if he fits the criteria for your state you tell him no.

So I heard what he had to say. We talked for about 2 hours and I told him how I felt. I can tell when he bullshats me and he wasn't bullshatting me. He genuinely wants to be in her life. He told me he would do whatever I wanted him to as long as he can see my DD. I called a lawyer and the lawyer said because we have a court agreement which involves him having visitation I cannot withhold her from him without getting in trouble with the court.

Oh, I also made it clear to him that she refers to someone else as dad and idk what she will call him and I won't influence that to go either way. I cannot believe how much he has changed now.

Now to figure out how I explain to a 5 year old how she has a dad that wants to see her.

I would, but she doesn't know him like that. She just remembers him and I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I want her to feel safe and having some random guy explain it I think will make her feel weird.

@Happy the me 5 years ago would have been a child about the situation. I just want what is best for DD without hurting her and without her resenting me.