I totally get the feelings and it's completely understandable.

I just read the comments and I know how you feel. Ss is going to be 7. Me and his dad got together right after his second birthday. His mom was never on drugs but had another kid with a man who left her to raise that child all alone. As soon as she had the kid she would go party all the time and have different boyfriends she would put before the kids. I took over as the mother figure. We grew very close. He would come to us and tell us she wasn't feeding him or ignoring him and always leaving him with her grandma( she lived with her). He would cry because he didn't want to go with her and wanted to stay with me and his dad. The time was split 50/50 but there was never a weekend of hers that went by that he wasn't being left with us or her parents or grandma. She told my so that she just wanted to be a regular 24 year old and that she doesn't even like her dd. When ss began kindergarten all of a sudden she decided she wanted to be a "good" mom. It makes me mad. I want her to be a good mom to him but I was the one there for him for three years when she didn't want to be a mom and it sucks. He doesn't remember how horrible she was. Now she's telling so that he doesn't need to be with him and the time that he has here is suppose to be spent with his dad. She sure didn't have a problem with him being with me when she wanted to have her " me time" and go out with her borfriend of the month. I took care of him as my own and now she just gets to take him back when she decides that she wants to be a mom again.

Sorry for the rant. I get where your coming from and I don't think you ss mom deserves him. She sounds waay worse then hex and she's pretty bad.

Nope

Yeah I see what you're saying. For some reason, the whole situation just makes me very emotional. I'm protective over him, just like my 2 children, so I just want him safe. I also don't want his bond with me to ever change just because she is in his life.

She doesn't deserve him. But he does deserve to have his mother clean and sober and in his life only of those conditions are met. Is always best of kids can have access to both their parents who are willing, able, and capable of loving them and caring for them. So I wouldn't go so far as to say I hope she never gets her crap together. That's not something I'd wish for him.

Sort of, yes, it's wrong, but in a way your feelings are understandable for your situation. Drugs are a horrible thing and you'd rather keep him safe and protect him from that hurt. He doesn't deserve to have a drug addicted mother though. By hoping she never recovers from her addiction your hopes would make him have to deal with that hurt forever so that you could see him more and he will like you better than her. I know there's more to it than that, but it's better to have an attitude that's solely focused on his well being even when it's so easy to have conflicting feelings and wanting to keep him away from someone who can't be trusted. His life would be much better off having 2 healthy female role models than 1 healthy one and 1 continuously spiraling out of control. When he gets older he will recognize that his biological mother was not healthy and made poor decisions. But children of drug addicts often feel deep hurt that their parent choose drugs over them. ? The longer that goes on, the deeper the hurt goes.

I hate it for him. Every child deserves a good mom. I know she needs to get clean and put her kids first, but is it selfish that I hope she doesn't? I know I'm not his real mom, but it's all I've been to him for more than these past 3 months. It's been going on for longer than that. She never spent time with him, was pawning him off on others, never did anything but sleep. He told us that himself. I have such a good bond with him, and yes he frustrates me a lot because he's a 7 year old boy, but I love him like he's mine. I know I sound selfish but I hope when he's older he knows the difference between her and I. I hope he remembers who was really there for him. She is such trash ? Am I wrong for feeling this way?

No she doesn't deserve him. She's selfish and he your step son doesn't need someone that only wants him when it's convenient for her. It's amazing that you love him and are posting this because it shows how much you really care. I'm sorry mama I hope things get better

No this "mother" doesn't deserve to be around her child until she can get herself under control. Hopefully she will seek out help & eventually be able to have a relationship with her son. It's so nice that he has a connection with you and can trust you though :)

Sounds like a mother with a drug problem who needs professional help before they even think of being involved in the child's life.

No

the way I think it goes is HE doesn't deserve to have a dead beat mother, like her. He deserves a love, nurturing, and selfless mother like you. You may not be his biological mother. But you're more of a mother to him than she is, and it's amazing that you've given him such a wonderful gift. If she's signed over her right, she's not even his mother anymore, and doesn't deserve a second thought. Love that boy, as your own, and make sure he knows the HE deserved way more than SHE could ever give him.

I feel like I'm losing my sanity. I'm losing my happiness. I'm stressed and my anxiety is horrible.

3 months ago, we found out my 7 year old stepsons mother was taking him with her to meet a man so she could buy pills. My SO knew she had been doing something because she was losing weight, slurring her words when she talked, always wearing sunglasses, locking herself in the bathroom at my stepsons ball games, etc. Her dad is a sheriff so he gets her out of A LOT. Nothing my SO ever did worked (tried to have her baker acted and everything).

Anyway, when we found this out, I was 2 days away from giving birth to our daughter and my SO told her she would not be getting their son back and he would take her to court if he had to because he'd had enough. He opened up a case against her with DCF, she waited a whole month to go in and her drug tested (and passed) and now the case is closed.

She signed her rights over, didn't even read anything. It's been 3 months. She rarely asks about how he's doing in school or in general. If she does text him, it's "When do I get to see him? It'll help ME." My SO went 2 weeks without hearing from her at all. Literally 2 straight weeks. Her family never asks. They allowed her to do these things with her children in her care and turned the other cheek. Is that normal?? Is it just me? I love my stepson. I tuck him in, I help with his homework, I play with him, I'm the one he knows he can talk to, I love him. His therapist even told my SO he can tell he has an attachment to me. I'm heartbroken for my stepson and this stresses me out, because she thinks she can do all these things and then expects everything to be ok again right away. She's not going to rehab, either. So who knows if she's clean or not. But am I crazy to think she doesn't deserve him?

Ha ha ha. She doesn't deserve a damn thing

de·serve

do something or have or show qualities worthy of

So, no

NOPE.

She needs help. She shouldn't be caring for a child when she is incompetent.