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These situations are brutal. I had a best friend a number of years ago and I worked at a restaurant with her bf. They were broken up, but obviously still really cared about each other. He was a recovering drug addict and had not done any drugs in 10 years. One night we went to a party that everyone from work was invited to, and I witnessed him using drugs with a female coworker and they later disappeared to hook up. I knew my friend would be heartbroken, but I felt I would want to know if it were me. I told her and oh boy was that a mistake. Suddenly I was a horrible person for not intervening and stopping the situation. Everything became my fault and she blamed all his actions on me. He obviously was furious with me because I told her, and I lost both of them as friends.
I wouldn't be able to be friends with someone who is a cheater. The other person would deserve to know, and I might no flat out tell them, but I would hint around. My friend should be more considerate and break up before getting some in the side. I don't have loyalty when it comes to cheating.
I wouldn't tell him but I sure as hell would show my friend my opinion.
I never think anyone should meddle in anyone's relationship, friends or not. I wouldn't appreciate anyone doing it to me, so I wouldn't do it to them. That doesn't mean I wouldn't guide them in the right direction though.
In high school my.bff had started dating another guy while she was still with another one of my very very good friends. She would tell him they were just friends but tell me they were going on a date.
He asked me repeatedly what was going on and I would always tell him I didn't know. But one day, I just couldn't take it anymore. She was lying to evryone and on a completely destructive path, so I told my friend when he asked.
They are married now with 3 kids, so it obviously didn't matter a whole lot. Lol
Our friendship has never been the same (between me and the girl) but there was and lot more to our friendship than just that.
I've been in this situation a couple times. I have always made it clear to the friend that I won't lie to their SO, I won't cover for them, and I won't be used as a cover.... if she or he is unhappy they need to leave and be honest to not only their SO but themselves as well. I personally would not get involved unless someone involves you. Cheaters suck :(
This actually happened in my life and some days I believe I made the wrong decision. My best friend (at the time, we're still friends now but not as close bc of this) was cheating on her husband. Her husband was horribly emotionally abusive. I had been trying for years to help her get the confidence to separate from him. (So that you understand just how bad he was, know that I'm Catholic and generally take the church's view on divorce. That I wanted her to leave him shows how bad it was.) She kept trying to make her marriage work. Then one day she told me she'd met someone. Eventually they began sleeping together. I met this new man and liked him. I knew his reputation from other friends and he was well thought of and a kind man. To be honest, I was happy that she was with someone who cherished her even though she was breaking her vows. Meanwhile she stayed married.
A few months later, her husband came to me and asked me if something was up. He suspected cheating. He said that she'd changed and was distant. He had an idea to take her away on a romantic vacation to try to rekindle the romance. Here was my opportunity to say something. He asked me if I knew what was going on and the words stuck in my throat and I said nothing.
Six weeks after the "romantic vacation" my friend was pregnant. She didn't know for sure who the baby's father was but she believed it was her husband bc she always used condoms with the other man. She broke up with the other man and stayed with her husband. I don't think she ever intended to tell her husband about the affair but there were some markers on the baby's genetic testing while she was pregnant and at that point she felt she needed to talk to the other man to see if his family had a history of those problems. Everything came out in the open and it was ugly.
She has since had a beautiful baby girl and her husband is the father. He doesn't want a divorce bc he wants his family "whole." He's the same emotionally abusive man he always was except now he has her cheating to hold over her head and she just takes all of the abuse. She's a shell of the woman she once was. She hardly leaves her house and rarely returns phone calls or texts from her friends and family. And the worst part, is her daughter is being raised to hear all of these awful things.
I often think if I had said something when I had the chance my friend wouldn't be trapped in this awful marriage. But then, her daughter wouldn't be here either...
Nope. Not by business.