Am I a bad mom ?
So since baby Charlie had jaundice in the hospital they suggested I give him donor breast milk because he was way to sleepy to eat from me and he had lost about a pound in a day and a half. So now we are having problems latching, I think it's somewhat to do with my nipples and partly because he was so used to the bottle. Well now he's almost a week old and he will not eat from me at all. So my lactation consultant and I decided I'll pump in addition to trying to breast feed. When I put him up to my boob with the nipple shield he tries then screams bloody murder. And he won't even try at all without it on. It makes me feel so terrible ! I am giving him what I pump and that's quite a bit. Probably 2.5 ounces on each side. But my mother in law said that I need to stop pumping and make him eat from me because it's not as good as from the boob. Idk. I already feel terrible I can't be a good mom and do what other moms do for their baby ??
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I've just gone through all this too. Except my LO didn't lose weight, just gained slowly. I've had to accept that while he can have breastmilk, he just has to have it mostly via bottles and topped off with formula. I give him mostly BM and then about 3-4 formula bottles a day. At first I was stressing and at times I still do feel that way-breastfeeding is simply so much easier than pumping and bottle feeding. But I've had to accept that this Little Guy is just unique from my previous 5 who had no difficulties breastfeeding. My thing is I love to care for my Babies and don't want to just hand them over to others to feed them etc. But I can still do that with the bottle. I just enjoy every second holding and cuddling him while I feed him whether it's by breast or by bottle.
You're not a bad mom.
If you choose to reintroduce the boob what I did was bottle feed close to the nipple, put the baby on the nipple, and drip milk from the bottle on the nipple until my milk was stronger and regulated.
Lots of tears from both of us but now I can't get her off the boob and onto bottles lol
My son never latched onto my boob and I expressed for 9 months until I got pneumonia and couldn't do it anymore. It was better than giving up entirely and it was a labour of love. My daughter latched on effortlessly and that's just how it goes. Don't feel bad, don't feel guilty. Just do whatever you need to do! Again, do whatever you need to do!
I pumped, and gave him in a bottle since he was 3 days old. He wouldn't latch, had lip tie and tongue tied. I never gave up trying to breastfeed though, every few days I always tried him on my breast and still it was a big freak out everytime. He got a cold at 2.5 months old so I put him on my boob again, he latched so well, no nipple shield or nothing! And ever since I can put him on my boob any given time but I still rather give him the bottle. Don't give up! My lactation consultant was the best and helped me greatly throughout.
It's so hard going from bottle to boob. It's not your fault and it's not his fault. He was born jaundice and you made the best decision for him, he learned that bottles are way easier and quicker.
A good Mom has nothing to do with how you feed your baby. A good Mom rolls with the punches, is flexible to her babies needs, and doesn't let herself be consumed by guilt. You are a good Mom... keep anyone who makes you feel different away for a little while. You don't need that energy around you as a new Mom.
If you want to keep trying breastfeeding, like pp said, offer the bottle till he's somewhat satisfied, then offer the breast. Keep decreasing time at the bottle and increase time at the breast. I'd also try feeding right after a hot shower when your let down will be stronger. Lots of skin to skin too! Take a whole day off from life for just you and your baby to work on nursing.
You should be able to wean him back to breast, but if you can't, don't beat yourself up. There are a million other ways to bond with him!
I am content pumping and bottle feeding , but I would be very happy to just have him feed from me, I want that bonding.
Keep your head up and just keep offering the breast. As far as your MIL she's an idiot. Breast milk from the bottle is fine. Its not different. And if pumping doesn't work and you end up formula feeding that is fine too. Just worry about your baby. You will have many years to worry if you're a bad mom. Don't use up all that stress on breast feeding. Hugs and good luck.
First off lots of mom's struggle big time the first few weeks. Good lord know I did! Second what you pump is definitely just as good! The problem with pumping is that many mom's struggle because the pump doesn't do as good a job as baby but there are plenty of mom's who exclusively pump!
I suggested to keep in contact with you lc of course. A few things I'd try is get really relaxed even take a bath and do skin to skin. Not when baby's hungry but just to induce comfort nursing. Stay calm, I'd he doesn't latch that's fine enjoy the closeness and snuggles... repeat often.
First of all you are a great mom! You are doing what is best for your baby!
The beginning is always a challenge, I exclusively pumped for 3months because we just could not get a proper latch...we would both cry during feedings. One day I was taking to my cousin and she told me she was having the same problem with her son and that one day she just got so tired of pumping all day she attached him to the boob and was a perfect latch! She ended up bf till like 4 lol. So that night I went home attached baby to the boob and surprise she latched and it was pain free! I cried happy tears the whole time and even my husband was excited!
Continue doing what you are doing momma