Rant : Niece vs child ??!

Guys don't really form a bond with baby until they're born and are usually not interested in buying things for them until they're born. Once he's born I'm sure he will change soecially once he's walking. My husband wasn't too involved in my pregnancies wouldn't get exited about baby kicking or shopping, ge always found a way to avoid the baby section. Now they're 2 and 3 1/2 and he can't stop buying them things. It's normal just be patient and give him time. The Dr I work with says he doesn't bond or have much interest in babies until they're 18 months old.

It will change. My brother is like that with my dd. I know once they have kids it won't be the same but I know dd will always be a big part of his life

I love my niece and nephew just as my own. I spent a lot of time with them and helped raising them. But obviously my kids come first if it come down to it.

My husband wasn't and still isn't that interested in my pregnancies. But he love our children to death and he even cried when our first was born while i didn't ?

Was he buying things before your niece was born? Or bringing her up a lot in conversation.

I wouldn't compare how he is with her in person with your unborn child. I would compare how he was when the sister/in law was pregnant.

To be honest it would drive me mad! I would have loved it before but when pregnant as an emotional pregnant woman I would want some of that interest and attention lavished on our unborn child too. I believe it will change but not buying things you need now and spending on Brice not fair. Tell him the items are essentials and rather than spend loads when baby arrives best to do it little by little. Also maybe organise a shopping day without niece - get him to choose when so he doesn't feel you are taking away from her time. A sickly child can cause everyone to be more involved and overly anxious and protective.

As for you spend some time pampering yourself as pampering yourself is also good for the baby? Go to shops alone, buy a few bits, have a lovely relaxing bath with some yummy lush products, this is a time also about you and you deserve spoiling ?❤️

I'd tell your SO that any money from now on Is being spent on baby, he can't tell you that you don't have money to buy baby things that you NEED then go spend money on his niece that doesn't need anything...

Your baby will be here soon and he needs to get his priorities straight.!

That would bother me, but I would really like to mention my husband who I think is the worlds greatest dad was similar while I was pregnant. Not motivated to buy anything for baby or wanting to read on anything. He wasn't to interested in picking names he likes he only wanted to listen to the ones I liked. It was SOOOO irritating. When I started labor though he became the most amazing father, when she was born he never left her side. They are best friends and do everything together.

I think men don't feel the pregnancy because they aren't pregnant and it takes time for them to process sometimes it takes until birth like my husband.

My babys father was like that when we were together. He would do anything for his nephews even offer to baby sit them and spoil em like hell. And when I ask if he wants to buy stuff for our baby, he would be like we don't have money atm or make up whatever excuse. Used to get me so upset lol. But I started caring less about it. And he changed with time, am due in 4 weeks and even thoo we're not together atm he saved money for the baby and always asks about her and how she is doing and so.

I think guys that are having their first kids, don't realise how real that is until the baby is there ?

I think like the other ladies have said he will change once baby is here. It's harder for dads to connect during pregnancy since they aren't the ones experiencing it. one of my SILs was like obsessed with her niece (my other SILs daughter) and then when she had her own kids it totally died down.

My SO would get his ass kicked! I understand him spoiling his niece but your child is WAY more important.

Tbh I would ignore my SO and go look at baby stuff or buy things anyway. And if he gets upset I would just say something like, "Well one of us needs to prepare for OUR child and since you're obviously not going to do it..."

But I'm really petty so ??

Thank you so much ladies !!!!

I agree with pps that things will probably change when the baby comes.

That said, yes I do love my nieces and nephews like my own children. However it it has to come down to my children vs nieces and nephews my children come first.

I think things will change once the baby is born. A lot of times the father doesn't bond with the baby until after he meets him.

I have a nephew who I love and treat exactly the same as my children. I do feel more strongly for my own but my behaviour doesn't show it.

My sil in law has the same gears about my brother and my daughters, my oldest expecially.. i had her at 17, and she was the first everything for us the frist grandbaby, and she was all of our world, even my sil, and she was almost 5 when I had my dd2 and when I had her she had to stay in the hospital for a week, and in that time , my brothers friend Bby past from Sid's, omg that was like it my brother want Leung my dd2 out of his sight when she got home, well my sil was pregnant almost due and was crying cause she felt like he couldn't love their son like he did with my girls.

I had told her, it will change when my nephew was born, and i was right lol.

Now all three are in high school and my girls, and my 2 nieces can do no wrong in my brothers eyes and his 3 boys and my one boy are aliens.. And he can still beat them in any sports..lmao lmao ..(he can't) lol

Not denying that your husband loves his niece, but I wonder how much of those actions are rooted in guilt. A guilt he doesn't have towards his own baby.

Youve still got a way to go before youre even due so he probably figures you have time. His niece is here has medical issues and has looked death square in the eye because of that its reasonable that he would want to spend what time he has with her on just her

Maybe I am wrong too... but I would be very upset too!!! VERY!

Wait until hes born. Im sure he will will be attached to his little guy!❤

I love my nephew, but I wouldn't buy him things if my own kids were in need.

Now, my BIL (sister's husband) definitely loves his son. But he seems to enjoy playing with my son, because he's 5, and their son is 14 months. Just a stage thing; and I'm sure he wil treat his own son the same way.

Honestly though, of course he is going to spoil her right now. She has been the only kid in his life for quite some time. My sister treats my kids the exact same way he treats his neice. You are still pregnant right now. You are closer to baby because you are carrying him. He just probably isn't close to him yet. My husband is this way when I am pregnant and then insanely totally in love with our baby when he is born. Watch he will be same when your baby is born. Sometimes it's just hard for men to connect with baby during pregnancy.

I love my nieces, but no where near the level I love my son. Hopefully he improves when baby arrives.

He will be different once he meets his baby.. don't worry

It would bother me with the spending money on his niece when you need stuff for your baby... but I agree with the ladies, it'll change once your bundle of joy with no sleep is here. ❤️

That would definitely irk me...

My husband was completely elated when we found out we were pregnant -just as happy if not happier than I was. He wanted to buy her things left and right. Hell, he bought her a halloween outfit when I was pregnant and she was a May baby, lmao.

I get not every guy will be the same but damn. I don't think I could put up with behavior like this and be content with "it'll change when the baby gets here". Like, give me SOMETHING. Maybe when your son does get here he'll feel like a huge dick for barely caring.

My SO was sooo disconnected with my pregnancy. I think he maybe felt the baby kick once because I made him put his hand on my belly. He's such an amazing father now and loves LO so much. It just wasn't real for him until he was here.

I agree with the other ladies. He will change as soon as his son is born. Once the baby is here, it will be a different story. I promise.? Good luck and congratulations!

Once baby is here, things will be different.

That's what I was thinking too. Woman get to feel the baby and form a bond where men don't. Just makes me sad he isn't all excited !

Baby just isn't born yet, things will change

for me, it's not the same at all. maybe because the baby's not born yet. men don't feel the same bond we have with our baby when pregnant. hopefully he changes when the baby's born

I bet when your baby is born all will change for the better. Men are weird like that. I think it will become real for him.

That would irk me.

But I'm an only child....so.....