So...here's a subject we haven't explored...
What does your SO think about having a new baby in the home? How's he handling things? Is he getting much sleep? Does he wear earplugs at night like my hubby does? Does he sleep on the couch or in another room? Like to change diapers...
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@blinkyfb- wow...we all wish we had a man like that, "I haven't had any night shifts..how come?"
That's the first I've heard of that.....lucky you!!
My husband has helpful with the newborn to an extent but is mostly helpful with our older kids. He says it's hard for him until they are wrestling age and when their personalities come out! He had to take care of his youngest sister when he was 13 and his mom had a baby so I think that put a bad taste in his mouth for caring for infants. He will change diapers and hold her but never goes to hold her just to enjoy her. He will take her on walks and baby wear to pass time or to calm her down if she's crying. He won't bathe her but he still struggles with bath time for all of our kids. He also wont change her outfit because he says they're just going to get dirty again. But he is a very Hands-On dad with our big kids he plays with them from four or five at night until they should be in bed. He's out with them playing frisbee volleyball Foursquare...etc and he draws all my neighbors and their kids to our yard for games like a Pied Piper! His gift might not be infants but he's a great dad.
Mine is amazing! He's back at work, but still helps out all the time at home. I exclusively pump, so he always takes one of the night shifts. In fact, for Father's Day, I tried to take all of the night shifts and let him sleep. Around 4 I was up with the baby and he came in and said, "I haven't had any shifts. Why not?" (I usually have to wake him up when it's his turn.) I told him I was letting him sleep and he refused and told me to go to bed!
He is living same life as he did before baby boy came in the world
Sleeps all through this night
Doesn't change diapers or bath him or dress him
He won't hold him for more then 5 min and then he wants me to take care of everything (which I don't mind I'm the mother) and he goes and lives a perfectly good days with tons of energy from sleep
I think that's why we haven't been getting along at all
Mine struggles some. He does want to hold him and take pictures daily, but it doesn't last long. As soon as baby fusses he hands him to me for feeding or diaper change. I'm not surprised though, it took years to convince him to have a baby. Hubby has said that he is ready for baby to be walking and able to do cool stuff, so I think it will just take longer for them to really bond.
I think it's so much harder for Dads to be needed when you're exclusively breastfeeding. My husband will help with diaper changes in the middle of the night. He's a deep sleeper, but we both wake up when Sawyer starts crying. Throughout the day, it's mostly me caring for him but he's working and there's really not much he can do like I said. He'll watch him for me so I can go to the store without needing to juggle both him and my toddler and while I'm away he'll feed him a bottle or hold him until I get home if he's fussy to hold him off/appease him until I can get home to nurse. He's the only one that can get him to take a paci actually. Pretty funny. But with me he just wants the real thing. ? He's actually pretty great and as hands on as he can be. He's amazing with our 3 year old daughter but he got much more involved as she got older when she could talk and walk and do stuff with him.
@lcox- you must have a black belt in karate...I really laughed reading all the karate chop comments.... seriously though mothering is difficult when we don't get a break.
Let's just say I am on my own for the most part. My husband is taking classes to finish his Doctorate and teaching lessons so he is gone basically from 7AM to 6PM during the week and when he gets home is very little help. He'll literally be home for 5 minutes and then complains that the baby is always crying as if he's dealt with it all day which makes me want to karate chop him in the throat. I'm the one dealing with our newborn and 4 yr old all day. He'll change diapers, and feed on occasion as I ebf and breast feed, and he'll hold him but when it comes to getting up at night/early in the morning with the baby, if I held my breath waiting on him to get up and get or help with the baby I'd be dead?. He will however, make comments about how the baby cried all night or didn't sleep very well, which again makes me want to serve up a quick throat chop. The fact that he wanted a 2nd child and kind of "tricked" me into it is the icing on the cake regarding his lack of helping out.???♀️
He does great with the baby. But sometimes doesn't know what to do. He is better at playing with Jack than I am. And sometimes when I can't soothe him or get him to fall asleep, DH can. He does diaper changes and handles them well! He is still learning the ropes though. We both are. I pick up on Jack's cues when he doesn't like a certain soothing technique, so I'll change what I'm doing and it usually works. DH, won't change what he's doing and it just causes the baby to cry harder. So then I have to suggest he try something different. But overall, he's great!!!!
@countrygirl- I know that's a common feeling that dads can have -to feel they might hurt the baby. Some men have a hard time relating with baby when they're so little and needy for only mom, they feel baby doesn't want or need them-my friends husband feels this way! Also my neighbors husband says he doesn't enjoy baby a whole lot until she's older...so it's good your SO is trying at least...when we had our first my husband was kinda hurt by baby always crying and only I could really comfort her- but I just explained she needs me for a season and will need him more in the months to come.
My fiancée is not doing so well at all?. He is trying so hard, but he is so scared he is going to do something to hurt him. He will wake up and does great with feeding. Then it comes to burping and yup nope. He can't get the hang of diaper changing?. And refuses to bathe or dress him, so I'm pretty much on my own. My 7 year old changed a diaper like a pro even poop, but his dad just ugh!
Hubby is really great. We kinda do work in Shifts.
For first couple days he watched me doing things around her but at about 5-6 days he started to be comfortable picking her up by himself and changing her diapers. Now she is 3 weeks and he is a pro.
He talks to her - I call her pumpkin he tells me she prefers to be called "arugula salad" and that's how he calls her. He is great at playing with her - she hold his fingers and he tells her she is amazing lobster with sting grippers ;)
Hubby also works from home and is definitely night person. So he takes on the 1 am feeding and hangout with her until 4am feeding and then brings her to me.
I seriously couldn't ask for better husband and father for Madeline.
@may that's good of him that he gets up to change her diapers even though he has to work.
@if1 aww he's always looking up stuff online- how wise and caring of him.
@altimuse- I laughed at your last comment- that you're possibly more annoying then crying baby lol... oh wow from 0-3 children overnight.
My husband is doing pretty well. He's had a hard time adjusting to sharing me and to life with a baby. He says he misses not being able to just up and leave the house. We also have his two son who are 3 and 5 for the summer so we went from 0 to 3 in two weeks ? he also says how much harder it is now that they outnumber us. He's doesn't do diapers mainly because I'm faster and bubs HATES his diaper changed. He does take over as soon as he gets home so I can run to the store or clean the house...sometimes take a shower for the first time that day ? oddly he's always telling me to go do something either with the older boys or alone...either he's letting us get a break from the crying or we're more annoying then the baby ?
He's doing great. She's already a daddy's girl! He got thrown in to it all pretty quick since I had a csection and I couldn't even change a diaper till day 3. We joked about him changing the first diaper before she was even born and low and behold he really did. He was only home with us for a week so he takes over till about midnight then I do all the feeding and changing after that since he gets up at 5 for work. He is always looking up stuff on the internet about babies and asking tons of questions. I love it. Never really could have pictured him being like that as a dad. I know deep down he really can't wait till she's a little older and he can do more with her. You really see a totally different side of a man when he's a dad. He definitely was not the soft, mushy type of guy before her but he sure is now.
When we had our first girl (now 7) my husband was up with me passing me the baby and then burping her. One night was so funny...I laid baby beside me to sleep and in the middle of the night I see my husband sitting up burping the baby...so I got thinking, "how'd he get the baby..she was right beside me.." and I looked down and seen baby was still beside me and I looked back up and realized he was burping a pillow...we still laugh over this. Three babies later and he's wearing earplugs...grrr... kinda feel lonely without him as he goes to the couch half way through the night..but I know he needs to sleep to be productive for his job. We work together, he plays out our 7 & 5 year old and gets them taken care of when I am busy with baby...and he's a clean freak so I can count on him to make sure the house is looked after. I think it's so cute- he looks forward to bath nights with her...
Shari my husband can sleep through anything so needless to say there's no need for earplugs. He doesn't even roll over unless the baby is crying a lot. During my recovery he would get up in the middle of the night and hand me the baby etc so I know he hears him lol. He loves being a dad. He spends all his time after work with the baby. I think the only thing he feels a little something about is that j don't give him as much attention as I used to. He's still adjusting to sharing his wife with another human.
My husbands the same. He holds our son when needed but hasn't changed a diaper and since I nurse sleeps at night. But he had stepped up huge with our 21 month old daughter and helps with so much that I used to do with her like baths, reading, pjs, dinner. So even though he's afraid of hurting or doing something wrong with our son he's still tons more helpful and helping me not go crazy.
My SO hasn't changed from 2 yrs ago with our son. He sleeps sound all night goes to work comes home eats supper plays with our 2 yr old and holds Abigail and occasionally feeds her. As of right now he has changed 2 diapers, has made 3 bottles and put her to bed once. This is typical of him. I talked to him about this when our son was this age and he said he's scared he will hurt the baby, make formula wrong or scratch baby's bum with his rough hands (he is a truck driver, a cement mixer driver and a mechanic). He's more comfortable about 4 months.
He was off work with us for 6 weeks. He was a huge help with baby! We would take turns getting up at night for feedings. Obviously, getting up in the middle of the night is no fun, but he had no problem doing it. Now that he's back to work, he gets to sleep throughout the night. Which means I get up every time. When I go back, we will take turns feeding. He is however getting up to change her diapers. Then I will feed her. He's so amazing. He loves having a baby!! And I love him!
He's really good. We both wanted Jude very badly. He changes most diapers once he gets home. He could sleep through some crying or screaming, but I don't let him. When I need help I need help. My tailbone is still badly bruised from the delivery bed so sometimes I have a hard time getting out of bed. I drink tons of water too so sometimes I wake him to hold n soothe Jude while I pee then come back to nurse him. He's wonderful and seeing him take care of Jude warms my heart. Like tonight after we both gave him a bath. I walk in to our bedroom n there he is brushing his hair talking to him ?❤️
He's loving it so far. He's wanted a bio child since we first got together. He considers my son his, but by the time we got together my son was already 5, so DH always wanted to experience raising a little one.
He sleeps through the night and I still don't know how he doesn't wake to the screaming.. It has to be magic.
Diapers and swaddling still prove to be a challenge though, but he's already talking about having another smh.
Basically his life hasn't changed. He sleeps all night, works all day. Has only held her a few times and always passes her back to me pretty quickly saying she is hungry or whatever. He hates diapers and has only changed like 2 or 3. At first He seemed like he was going to be super hands on and helpful but now it's business as usual. He is pretty good about doing things with his daughter (my stepdaughter) who is 8 when she is with us but even that has slacked a lot. We have been arguing about why the house isn't clean when I'm home all day and I try to explain that I do what I can but there's no point. I'm jealous of all of you who have tons of loving support from your hubby!