inappropriate SS???? I need to let this out I'm loosing my mind. Ok so my husband is helping his brother in law put tile…

It's normal for him to wonder about vaginas and like women in bikinis. Technology is such a scary thing.

This concerns me my ss is only 9 but already curious about things.

He hasn't really asked about the body or sex or girls yet but if we are talking about something and he says what's that about and we say it is an adult thing he is always like "now you made me curious"

He has his own desktop computer and an iPad so we carefully monitor it.

At this stage he hasn't really got friends let alone gfs. He has ASD and spends most of his time watching YouTube vids of games like mine craft.

Still scared of what there is out there on the internet

My DH said they had a serious talk. They had " The talk" he didn't go into much detail about what they talked. But it sounds like it went good. My DH has his tablet for now and putting some parental control so he can't access anything inappropriate.

Updateeeee?

11? Excuse me while I go lock my dd in a tower ?

Definitely agree with you on that op.

My husband is talking to him. Idk what they are talking about. But I'm hoping he's handling it well I definitely don't want him to feel ashamed of being curious. But i feel he shouldn't be video chatting or having that Instagram account.

Be careful not to shame his curiosity because that is normal for his age. It is important however to explain what is appropriate and why. Explaining potential dangers that he would never think of will be most effective.

At his age it is normal to be curious. Kids have a great deal of information at their fingertips so it's important to keep the lines of communication open. Accusations of inappropriate behavior and treating him like his curiosity is wrong will shut down communication and results in horrible information being accepted

My DH came home and I talked to him. So he got the tablet from him and demanded the password. SS didn't wanted to give it to him saying " but why". " why are you being like this". Well he finally gave it to him and he has been video chatting this girl from school. We couldn't find evidence of him being inappropriate with her. But we did find out he has an Instagram and he follows alot of women in bikinis Twerking and what not. His history didn't show anything too alarming. But he is very curious about women body. He did type in the search. " how girls vagina looks". I still feel he was doing something very inappropriate in the bathroom while video chatting with this girl. My husband is still talking to him. And I sense that SS is mad at me. We are definitely going to make rules and also talk to his mom since he takes the tablet to her house.

Not my SS but my friend's son that i help her with sometimes. He is now 13 but since he has an iPod or tablet he has already had to tell his password and if i asked to see his tablet or what ever he was using he had to hand it over. She has a lot of safety's on his stuff so he can't access things he shouldn't.

He also can't download any apps without her password so he has to ask her.

Good luck.

@jamie wow...

You handled that well!! I think I might lose my mind and just end up crying and having my dh discipline him! Will have to take your reply as a tip!

@ehenzon.....I didn't find out until my daughter snitched on him (the girl he sent the pic to told & showed, some others on the bus). He tried denying it, but I was finally able to get it out of him. He doesn't own his own device, so was using my old phone with the wi-fi enabled, so it's not a commen occurrence (& now he's not allowed to use that either). I showed him the article, & pointed out how it's not a smart move....at any pt she can show friends, who might tell a teacher, & that's how the police get involved. That once something is online, it's there for life. He's a pretty easy-going kid, so it was easily handled once I explained the repercussions.

Ill make sure things change whether my DH finds anything inappropriate or not.

I agree with a PP. When his dad gets home, make him unlock the tablet in front of you both. Then change the password to one only you and your husband know. And change the settings so you need to put in a password before you download anything.

11 year olds should NOT have privacy on the Internet. It is a dangerous place.

Definitely talk to his dad about removing the password.

I would never let my children or my step children have free reign of something like a tablet or computer in my house- sorry.

The tablet should only be used when he is in a common area and you can step in and deal with things like this if needed.

He should also have limits on when he can use said tablet, in my opinion.

Good thinking op. Hope your so doesn't come right off saying "your sm saw this and that" lol that would just be not good...

I also don't want to say anything, because he will have the opportunity to delete things.

I doubt he will hand it to me.

@jamie ?? what did you first do? How did you confront that!

Yea, unfortunately with the influx of technology, the kids are becoming involved in activities they wouldn't have otherwise. I "caught" my son sending nudes last summer (he's 15), so it's quite possible at 11 he's doing the same, as my SS commonly goes in the bathroom for waaaay to long with his phone. My 13 yr old daughter knows girls at her school who are sexually active & have been since 5th & 6th grade....same with my son.

The best way to deal with it is to let them know it's not appropriate & the possible repercussions from doing so. I let my son read an article about two 14 yr old's who were charged with distributing child pornography for sending nudes to each other.....extreme case, but it brought him back to reality.

That sounds fishy and scary. Time to take care of this asap. I think his dad should do it though.

Ask your husband to remove the password and put a different one on that only you and your husband know. Only unlock it at appropriate times and have him only use it in front of an adult. This is what we had to do when our 13yr old tried to video chat inappropriately.

Yes as a sm I would wait for dad to do the talking or punishment.

You're doing a good job being observant though. Although, without concrete evidence you can't really say he was doing inappropriate things so I would tread carefully...

I think as a stepmother you're allowed to have the password to his tablet. Especially for something like this might be. Also, can you check what apps have been used on it recently? It really needs a kids lock on it to keep these things from happening