What is it with men that won't change diapers ? I would shut that s*** down quick. Your daughter is his responsibility too.

You’ve got to let them bond and learn one another. Hard, I know. Even if you’re there he can do things with and for her. My kids are up their dads arse when he’s home. I made sure they understood they didn’t have to have me do it all or be by my side constantly. You need a break for yourself and she needs that bonding time with dad. As they learn one another more it should get better. He has to become involved. The more he does the better it will be. Definitely tell him to get off his arse and do shat around the house. Probably in a nice way compared to what I said lol I’m blunt. He lives there. He makes a mess. He can clean it.

You both are to set an example to your daughter. Set a healthy and balanced one.

My DS was not a fan of anyone but me but the only way he got used to SO taking care of him was by having him take care of him. DS is almost 4months old and he is fine with his dad now. I had a hard time leaving him alone with him because in my head I somehow thought he couldn’t do it but he can and he does now.

Your enabling him just like his mommy does/did...

Things won’t change unless you make them change, we teach people how to treat us, and you’ve taught him that this is normal and acceptable behaviour that it’s okay to disrespect you be neglectful to you and your child that he can just be a pig and you’ll jut clean it up, your just a nanny,cook, maid, and there to keep him warm....

That’s what his actions are saying, I’d put a serious end to all this behaviour one way or another before my daughter grows up thinking this is normal for a man to behave and act....

She's 1. We didn't leave together till about 2 months he would live with his parents & me with my mom he would come visit but wouldnt take her alone.

Thanks ladies for letting me rant I am going to set my foot down already. This is too stressful for me.

I’m sorry but you obviously have him this way, YOU decided to take her to the dentist instead of letting her father take care of her.

I can imagine you’ve been doing this since birth. Why have you not allowed him to be a father to this baby ?? I don’t blame him I would have went out too, without a care in the world ...

He's a grown ass man. If he wanted to clean up after himself he would. You shouldn't have to "teach" him anything. You're not his mommy.

She needs to get used to dad. He needs to help with her and around the house. He has to become a parent. Stop cleaning up his crap and tell him it’s time for him to grow up.

It’s unacceptable and should not be tolerated.

He can learn to cook. He can especially learn for his daughter and how to care for her.

ETA your daughter is one and is screaming about being around dad? Does he spend any time with her?

LO is too attached to me. I can't seem to make her stay with him. Even when I shower she runs to the door and yells for me if he grabs her she screams. He will not change a diaper, he doesn't know how to cook nothing thats the reason I didn't leave her with him. It's an on going argument about picking up after himself. His momma would do those stuff for him, even her, herself doesn't act like a wife she should be, the house is DISGUSTING so I'm struggling by teaching him to clean up after himself.

I was the same way OP. I would feel bad to leave our son with him because he worked (not because I didn't trust him) and needed to rest. Then one day I got tired of him just being on his video games so now i leave our son with him and he does things around the house. He can relax and all but hes still a father and husband and should still help when i ask for it or not. He didn't even argue because he knew it was true he had to help and be a parent. Anyways OP, hes a father and SO and he should be taking care of the house and both your child.

Does he do anything beneficial and helpful as a partner and parent?

I would make his arse clean that shat up. If he can’t be trusted to watch his own child it says a lot.

If he’s immature enough to get drunk in the middle of the day and leave a mess like that, I probably wouldn’t trust him with my baby either.

@OP, has he ever watched LO alone?

I would've lost my s*** . There's no way in hell a grown man should leave such a mess for his wife. Nope. Hell no.

Also, there's no way I'd take my child to an appointment while my husband just chills and gets drunk at home. Thats a whooooole separate issue. Just a whole lot of hell no in this post.

You should of left your child with him , maybe if you did he wouldn't had done that mess

@pp

I dont think its that baffling. I never really left my son with anyone until he was atleast 1. My son really didnt want anything to do with my husband and would scream the second daddy picked him up. So it was easoer to take him everywhere. He also refused any and all bottles, binki, milk of any form besides straight from tap, etc.

My daughter is a total daddy's girl though so she spends lots of time with daddy whike I do fun mommy stuff

I wouldn’t even think twice before leaving my child with my dh while I went to an appointment.

Seems like you’re babying him. Give the man some responsibilities.

It baffles me that you think your husband would struggle to take care of his one child alone. Is he really that incapable?

U should read my recent poll about this topic.

I'll be having a very long talk when he gets home.