I've only read a few comments and I'm in complete agreement with the no crying it out method! It has been proven to be psychologically damaging for the baby due to high cortisol levels in the blood. They actually only stop crying because the high levels induce a survival instinct that acts because if they were in the wild and their parents were gone for that long it is more than likely that they are alone and at risk of being attacked by animals !

A test was done that showed even once the baby stopped crying stress levels continued to increase.

Can you baby wear ? I'm so lucky because my son has always kind of been the opposite. I did used to baby wear though so not sure if that had anything to do with it ??

Usually around 2 years old. Some need more some need less. I babywore my youngest until he was 3. I cleaned the house with him in a backpack carrier and I sat on the sofa for 1.5 hours everyday so he could nap in my arms.

Zerotothree.org is my go to website for this kind of info. It does not harm a child to fill their need for closeness, but it can do damage if you don't fill that need.

After Dd started sitting (around 4.5 months), she became so much more content. I have a Tula that has barely been used, because she wanted me to carry her fat butt around. ? I'm not going to lie, I still spend most of my day entertaining her at almost 10 months; however, I can at least sit her down now and she just follows me around the house. ??

Things will get easier, mama! Hang in there.

@op check in your area for a babywearing group. You can try different wraps and carriers. Safes you alot of time, nerves and money.

@Myrical, people in the past used wraps to wear their kids. They didn't let them cry. They had to work on the field with their kids. What do you think how they did it? Leave them home? Try again sweetie

Not sure why people assume I'm going to let her cio. I already stated in my post, and in my comments, that im not going to. My question was simply WHEN did your lo stop crying whenever you set them down?

Please dont listen to the above advice given "that your baby will get used to it, just let them cry, who cares how many days or hours they cry" advice... thats called being a crappy mom and not attending to their needs.

I held and nurtured my baby until for how ever long it was needed

I'm not one for friends really. But I'll check out the return policy on wraps at babies r us. It's definitely worth a shot and if she doesn't like it then I'll just return it. If she does then it's a win win! How did you go about choosing the right size? Does it go by t shirt size?

Wow, calm down. I didn't use any definite terms. It CAN damage SOME babies and their bonds. Especially in babies under 6 months. I didn't bash or criticize anyone, nor did I make any statements that my life is easy or great or whatever. Every family is different and needs to find ways to function and sleep.

I was very worried about wraps but eventually gave in. I wish I did sooner. Once you get the hang of it they are easier.

Do you have other mommy friends that you can borrow their wrap from to try? Or I think you can try some at toys r us and just walk around the store for a little.

I think with my son he kind of expects he's in my arms at home. That's why I have more leeway when I'm out.

@Zombie clearly my comment didn't say let the baby cry 24/7. Love how judgemental people are as soon as they see one thing they don't agree with. No it doesn't break the bond at all. I've done it with both of my kids and all of my nephews and none of them are emotionally hurt or have a broken bond with me. A mother can't have a baby stuck up her butt 24/7, she would go insane. Just because a so called "expert" says its gonna damage a child doesn't mean its gonna happen. How do you think mothers kept their insanity before people decided everything they did in the old days was wrong? Just because it doesn't fit your lifestyle that automatically means its damaging to all kids? I've been raising kids my entire life and have raised them all the same and not one child has ever been damaged because I let them cry for a few moments to collect myself. So before you go jumping off at the mouth recognize that not everybody does anything by some stupid book. I'm sorry but the books were written by people who only wished they were raised a certain way and yet none of them follow it themselves.

I'm not sure if the carrier is uncomfortable to her or not. It's the infantino flip advanced. Nothing too fancy. But i hesitate buying a high end brand on the chance that she may not like that one either. And i don't think id be able to successfully strap her to me with a wrap. I do like the wraps. I feel they may make baby feel more secure but don't think i could get the hang of tying it off.

@BlueIsMyColor, I feel like I could have written your response. My 9 month old daughter wants to touch me constantly but pushes me away (hard) if I try to snuggle her.

@ OP, My daughter's clinginess has started getting better, but she has good and bad days. I typically wait for my hubby to get home to clean or ask a friend/relative to come play with my girl for a bit so I can get things done.

She is best when she has her buddy to play with- my 2 yr old nephew.

Take heart! You will have such a strong child who will feel safe and secure by you answering her needs.

Why does she not like to baby wear? Is the carrier you have uncomfortable?

DD wasn't really a hold me baby but she didn't like being stuck in one spot. It wasn't me holding her that she needed but she wanted to be able to get up and move around.

Maybe try a different carrier

My 9 month old is still like this. He can't stand for me to do anything if he can't physically touch me. But he also hates to sit still and never wants to just sit and cuddle with me. It gets exhausting and I can't get much done at all.

Sounds like I'm a bad mom but I have let my baby (now 6 months) whine or sometimes cry for a minute or two before I can get him. Sometimes I am dealing with something hot or in the bathroom or cutting something up and can't hold him. It is maybe 2-3 mins max. Honestly if you put your baby down to sleep they are likely fussing for a almost a minute before you get there.

I'm no expert but here are a few things to try as I had the same problem sometimes when he was awake and all the time for naps.

- if he cried the second I put him down I would pick him right up. But would calm him then try again.

- make putting him down a game right away and stay right there. Make faces, play peekaboo, tickle him

- try putting him in different things (high chair, floor, pack and play, bouncer, activity centre if good head control) ... the fisher price kick and play bouncer was great from 3 months as he could make it make noise and light up by kicking

- talk to him the whole time he is down so he hears your voice.

- right away try touching him when you put him down. Or even lay him in your lap without putting him in your hands.

- try different wraps. I liked the moby the best but it was hard to tie at the right tightness consistently. Mei tai was easier. Also try wrapping with feet out as he's older now.

- mine wouldn't let me wear him at home but would when we were out. First try somewhere where there's a lot to see like the grocery store. Then try tying him in outside or in a room he isn't in often.

Also don't worry my son started sleeping better and napping alone very suddenly. Eventually he will grow out of it. But don't let people tell you you have to hold him every so often. A little whining is ok. He is just saying he wants you back. Reassure him and pick him up again when you can but ideally before he starts to actually cry.

My last comment was directed to Myrical. Her advice is very outdated and can be damaging to the baby's emotional wellbeing.

I never let my lo cry. I tend to his physical and emotional needs.

@star I've tried that, we also have a rock n play. She's not even content just looking at me. I've tried swaddling. Nothing works more than 2-5 minutes minutes.

If my LO is fed, clean and not sleepy or bored she tends to be ok by herself.

I would let your LO fuss for a little, letting your baby fuss to do pee, or pour some coffee isn't crying it out.

I did however drag my LO rock and play everywhere with me as long as she saw me she was usually ok.

I know what the fourth trimester is. If i had the intent to let her cio i wouldn't be asking for advice. I'm asking for other mom experiences. And I'm aware of what cio does. My parents used it on me.

I don't ever let her cio but there must come a point where she is aware that I'll pick her up if she whines. Whining not crying.

Please look up The Fourth Trimester. Self soothing is for older babies. Letting a 4 month old cry without being comforted can damage your bond. (And the "good for their lungs" thing is so out of date)

Where's Yaya? She has amazing resources about child development and behavior.

Its good for babies to self soothe. Sometimes you need to just walk away and let them cry. Its not only good for their lungs but they start to learn that they have to try to quiet themselves. My fiance and I started making our daughter self soothe at about 6 months. We had to learn the hard that the hard way.

2-3 years old

Once they are use to being held they will do anything thing to continue .

The child knows that if they cry long enough you'll pick them up

Only options are getting a carrier ,

Or

Putting them in the swig, chair ect and keeping them close and not picking them

Up but not abandoning them while they cry it will take a few days and lots of crying but it works

I give in tho and I now have back problems and permanent markings on my arms since I had my 3 children back to back and I hope I don't have this issue this time around but it's such a hard habit to break

DD gets like this still at 7 months. I bring her into whatever room I'm working on and give her some toys on the floor. I talk and sing and act silly during. I'll pick her up if she starts fussing and if I can multitask I do.

I also have a little one who constantly needs to be held. He hated the swing, pack and play, seats, play yards, everything. It got a little better when he became mobile, but still at 19 months he really has to be held a lot.

@zombie so your gonna come clean my house while i hold my baby right? Hold on I'll make a list!

@Ss3mom

My youngest (soon to be middle) was that way. It was hard. She's getting more independent all the time now but is still way more physically needy than her older sister.

At 4 months, though, I would probably still carry her most of the time. Have you tried different carriers?

Enabling? She's not a crack addict. Babies need to be held and nurtured. You can't spoil a baby...

We have a floor seat with toys we put her in sometimes but even that only hold her attention for about 5 minutes. I haven't done any housework in so long. My house is a mess all the time. ? We've tried the swing.

My 2nd son was like this all the time!!! He cried if I put him down. He cried if someone other then me or my husband held him. He was a tough baby. He still gets this way sometimes and he's 2!!! Could be a phase she going through. I know it's tough but it's ok to let her cry while u go to the bathroom!!! Sorry I don't have much advice just know you're not alone. Does she like the swing or bouncer seat?!?! Or even the high chair? With some toys? Just some suggestions I could think of

Me personally.. I would start letting her fuss a little. Not for long amounts of time or anything but if you keep giving in she will keep at it. We had to do this with my son.

Going on 20 months here ?