I feel like a terrible mother....
I finally had my anatomy scan yesterday and found out 100% that we are having a girl. I had the feeling it was a girl from the start even though we really wanted a boy and I was fine either way but at my 15 week check up my Dr. Said she thought baby was almost certainly a boy so we were really excited and have been buying boy stuff, talking to our son, bonding, even had the name picked out, I just wish the dr. Never would have said anything so we wouldn't be feeling this "disappointment" but it's not so much disappointment as it is I almost feel the need to kind of morn the loss of a son before I can except a daughter and it makes me feel like a horrible person to be sad or even less excited. I just hope this feeling passes soon maybe I will go exchange my blue stuff for pink and see if it helps. I know we will love our daughter more than anything but it's just a shock and will take some adjustment. Anyone else have any similar thought or expierence?
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Thankyou everyone! @Taylor your comment is beautiful and so true, me and this little girl will have such a special and U breakable bond, I'm coming around already!
My husband already has a five year old son. And this is my first baby, he wanted a girl so bad and I thought since we're mostly women on my side and his side I could give him that, and at our gender scan we found out it was a boy, I felt so disappointed in myself for not being able to give him a boy, but a month later I feel great about it. Either gender a mommy has a special bond with their baby, especially if you plan to breastfeed, I believe there has to be a certain proud satisfying moment in a say that only you can provide your baby. And only you can feel her inside of you, she's the only one in the world who knows your heart and yourself from the inside out.
Don't feel like a terrible mother at all!! It is very normal to feel the way you are feeling. When I was pregnant with my son, I was so worried he would be a girl because we didn't get a super clear potty shot. If he had been a girl, I would have loved her the same, even if I would have been disappointed. Just the same as you will love your baby girl and be a wonderful mother to her :)
I also wanted to say, that the same thing happened to me this time around!! Early on the doctor told me with 85% certainty that it was another boy. At the anatomy ultrasound we found out she is all girl! Next time, I think I will just hold my horses and wait for the late ultrasound rather than be told wrong again!
I recently went thru a similar situation I just had this strong gut feeling I was having a boy , everyone said they believed I was having a boy , even at one of my scans the tech said it looks like a baby boy , well when I went to my anatomy scan at 20 weeks the tech confirmed it was a girl I was disappointed and kinda sad but also felt bad because I had been calling she a he and also by the name I had choose ahead of time not that I wouldn't love my daughter but I really really just knew it was A boy and was wrong but once I ended up shopping for girl clothes and thought of all the cute things and fun stuff I can do with a girl I felt much much better so maybe a little shopping for girl clothes will help ..
Thank you so much for your kind words I know I just need a little time and I will love the idea of having my own baby girl!
you are not a bad mother for feeling disappointment especially since the tech said that. With my first I was positive we were having a boy because of my "gut" feeling and even though I really wanted a girl at first I had planned out this whole life with a little blonde haired blue eyed boy (saw them in a dream) and we even picked a name and called the baby the name we picked for weeks. When I finally found out that we were actually having a girl I felt like I had lost the little boy that I thought I was having. I had to mourn just as you described. I had to mourn the life I had planned out with this little boy that never even existed. It was very hard but once I started planning out a new life with a little girl and started shopping and picking things for her I felt much better and the feeling of grief passed. I love my daughter more than ever imaginable and after a few weeks of finding out I couldn't even remember why I was so upset.
I had my anatomy scan yesterday, found out it was a girl. I had been so sure we were having boy #2. I was kind of fixated on having two boys. I have always wanted girl, but I'm a little bummed it wasnt other boy. But she's healthy and thats all that matters!