What a asshat shell! I'd leave him to it Rhys has you and that's all he'll need!x

Sorry but my uncle was really high up in the army and took troops to Afghan and everything my Aunty had a 2 year old and was pregnant my uncle was due back 5 days before her due date with their second but she went 2 weeks early 2 days later he was on a plane home. It is hard but they get leave and days off. My uncle retired 5 years ago because it was really hard as the kids got older to leave them xxx

Thanks girls. Luckily Rhys never says anything about it. He asks to see him or speak to him sometimes but not often. I've never had a conversation about it with him tbh I dunno what to say or where to start so am just waiting till he's older or approaches the subject with me. Tbh Rhys is prob used to the way the contact is and it's prob more me that's annoyed by it cos of how I know it's gonna turn out and the fact that they don't have a bond! And it's not fair on him! Breaks my heart he doesn't have that. He's got me so that's what matters and hopefully he will see all this when he's older. Xx

Can I just say what an arsehole he is. It's must be so hard to not tell him to just not bother! One day your son will realise what an idiot his dad is and that he'll be better off without him! To be honest he sounds alot like my dad but mine wasn't in the army he just didn't want to be a dad! When I got to about 12/13 I made my own mind up and never saw or spoke to him again and it was the best thing I ever done because I didn't get let down at all after that! It must be so hard when he's young and you can't even really explain to him what's going on. I hope you're okay and Rhys xx

I agree with Mama, you are being so fair for Rhys, and I think you should be really proud of yourself (sorry if that is sounds patronising) but you handle yourself so well in such an frustrating and hurtful situation, It would be so much easier to tell him to not bother.

Keep doing what you are doing x

I would keep doing exactly what you're doing - give him grief for being so rubbish and make it hard for him to come up with excuses. X

Yeh he said Shellie I know how this goes with you.

I have no idea what he means by that as he knows nothing about me lol we don't talk unless it's to arrange to pick Rhys up which as you've heard is twice this year! He doesn't even know how to spell my name! He prob doesn't even know how old I am ect.. so for him to say that like he knows what I'm like is a joke! I bet he mentions money haha

What a waste of space! I think you're being so fair on your son by not calling it a day with his dad.

Has he replied to your last message?

He's seen Rhys twice this year!! I just looked through my phone!!! That's a joke!!!

I think you're doing so well not telling him where to go, it's so tempting cos your son deserves better than him but like you say that's what he wants he can walk away guilt free and paint you as the bad guy to anyone that will listen. When Rhys is older it'll all become a lot clearer and he will know himself who was there and who wasn't, I know it doesn't stop you hurting for him though just remember he's getting all he needs off you and your oh xx

Sounds spot on xx

That sounds perfect! Your doing all you can, just thank god your little boy has got you and your husband. Rhys will learn when he's older that his dad is a waste of space but I know it's hard for you right now but your doing a brilliant job xx

And that's exactly what I said to him! I said your trying to push me to say you can't see him so I look like the bad mum but I won't do that! He said he isn't and he wants to see him! He's full of s*** !! I'm gonna reply this...

I'm just gonna leave you to it I cba to argue with over this anymore it doesn't ever change anything! You could see your son so much more than you do you just choose not to! Blame your job as much as you like but I'm not stupid I have friends with partners in the army who live miles away from home and still see tbere kids 10x more than you do! And which all agree you could see Rhys more as the army can be understanding of family's ect... yes leading up to things you can be busy but you've always got an excuse! You should be able to see him at least once a month! You don't even phone him!! This is just going in one big circle cos you don't think you've done anything wrong! And I know for a fact you could do so much more!

What you think?

Ok so most guard regiments are busy on the run up to an event but I have two cousins in Scots guards yes I know different regiment but they get time off he is lying completely

Even the bloody Priminster has time to spend with his kids. This is some bloody B'S. Doesn't he get leave? He literally can't give you one day when he can come see his son?

I think he's trying to push you into saying cba so that he can walk away guilt free and blame you for everything.

He's a coldstream guard that's all I know! He always blames work! I can't be bothered listening to his excuses anymore! It's always the same s*** ! I would happily not speak to him again but it's Rhys who in a few months time will ask to see him x

I second the whole Skype - my other half did that every night he wasn't home just so Oliver could see his dad be able to say goodnight. His excuses are so rubbish it sounds like he doesn't want to step up. Does he have any other children? Xx

What you should replay is the screen shots of other girls replays! Shame him and confront him and say if he doesn't want to see his son he might as well just say it and that's it xx

???

Excuses either doesn't know how to cope with DS and the emotions he has due to the lack of dad time. Even if working long hours there is FaceTime/Skype.

It does he have a new love interest? Maybe he's jealous you're settled and married now and he's missed out?

Either way his DS comes first. My job is a pain to get time off and to see my kids, but even working long hours I'm there every available minute xx

What regiment is he? Troop the colour would take up more time but those hours are so unlikely to be true! Preparing for deployment isn't as strict hours as this! As the other two ladies said he is still highly likely to have weekends off, also why can't he commit to time after this?

My husband is ex army too and it was very rare he finished late and had most weekends off even when we lived 300 miles away he still saw his sons from his first marriage every month at least, I wouldn't be happy with that your poor son doesn't deserve him picking and choosing it shouldn't be this hard for you to get him to see his son! makes me angry x

What reg is in he? My other half was in the army he came out last year and he had literally every weekend off unless there was something going on, he used to finish most evenings in between 5&7 if he finished early he would be straight home to see our son. He was 40-50 minutes away from us. The army is all about family there great with giving time off for family. All 3 of brothers were in the army too and I see managed to see them every month even if it was just once a month they still managed it and they worked as the queens guards which they say is the busiest ones. Xx