Advice please So I've posted before about a friend and her bf. she's now told me something he's done to her. What's the…

Her poor kids. To be put through all this & she won't leave him! They could grow up thinking it's acceptable to batter there other halfs too xxxxx

So scary ?if this was me, I'd have reported the day I found out all of this, just for the children's sake. Poor kids have to sit and go to bed listening to this, imagine your own hearing that it's breaking my heart! Please ring the police or something xx

I've been there (no children) and sadly when you're in that despite only yourself that can get out. Until she's ready she won't do it. If she doesn't wise up, he will probably end up killing her.

I was stupid, and very very lucky.

However I didn't have kids, and if I did, I probably wouldn't have wised up a lot sooner. If she wants to stay, that's fine, but ss should be informed for the safety of those kids. Maybe the threat of losing then will make her leave.

By calling anyone he will probably be physically violent to her because of it, but you can't change anything without doing it.

I really hope she realises and gets out before its too late.

Don't report it for her, do it for the children! She may think she's hiding it from them but I can pretty much guarantee they see and hear much more than she thinks and the damage that domestic violence can do to children is awful! No child should have to be a part of that environment x x

I'd report it straight to social services if she wants to be with him then let her but when she comes faced with the decision leave him or we take you're children she might see it differently xx

You need to tell her she needs to leave him for her children's sake! If a neighbour called the police and she didn't press charges she could have her children taken off her! It happened to a lady I know, her partner was abusive, the police came out, saw her marks, and she said she didn't want to press charges, social services turned up the next day and took the kids in to temp care as they are classed as endangered, and at risk of domestic abuse.

No man is worth your kids and no man that does that should be in your life, he doesn't love her, he wants to control her, and if he can't he will beat her till she submits?? He's not a man! He deserves jail! X

I'd report it sorry friend or not why put your kids in that situation.

She knows all the numbers websites the lot she's been in the same situation before but not as bad As this time. They watched that program murdered by my boyfriend together and he said I'm nothing like him! Me snd her both agreed he's worse! I said to her yesterday he's worse than that guy minor the ironing board she said yeh but I'm sure if the ironing board had been out at any time he would have used it! She's trying to make out he's not hurt her for ages and since he quite smoking weed he's not as bad! It's all lies!! He's getting worse and worse and the physical and mental abuse started when she was pregnant! I never see her anymore! She's not long had a phone cos he smashes them up so she can't have one! Then last night tells her she's a better gf when she doesn't have one she said yeh cos I have contact to the outside world! Honestly some on the stuff she's told me is disgusting!! And she's says there's more and it's worst but won't tell me! She said she doesn't wanna talk to anyone! And when she does she will! But right now she loves him and believes he's gonna change! She tried making out most of the times it's all behind closed doors so the kids don't know! I said yes they do they prob sit in there room listening to it too scared to say Anythung like you used to! I just wish she would want help!

Get her the details of websites - women's aid, splitz are two off the top of my head. She can use them herself anonymously then.

As in pp you report and police/social services are duty bound to investigate. She may be stuck in the vicious cycle and he's got her to the point she doesn't believe she's worth better.

You can only do so much. Even if police etc get involved the majority of women will stay - sure the figures are it takes 30+ incidents before they get the nerve to call for help. Unfortunately most murders in the UK are domestic based. Hopefully boosting her self esteem etc will make her realise there's more to life than him x

Good luck Hun it's gonna be hard and s*** ty but think in the long run you'd appreciate it if someone did it for u even if at the time u didn't xx

Woah kids involved u need to contact social babe! ASAP

I've texted her mum and said I need to talk to her. I'm gonna see if her mum can talk any sense first then if she can't I'm telling her mum I'm gonna tell the right people I.e police and ss! She will know no matter what that it was me but I don't care as long as I've tried to do what's right for the kids x

If it's something that's affecting the kids I'd be inclined to call the social Hun xx

So just spoke to her and I said she's selfish for not thinking of the kids in worried for them and her and she said not to be! I said well I am! I said I would hope if it was the other way round she would do something to make sure my kids were safe.'i said of anything ever happened to you or them and I was the only one to know and I hasn't tried to do anything id feel so bad! She just said if I didn't wanna be with him and I couldn't handle the situation id call someone and get out of it but I do wanna be with him I love him!! I said that sound stupid cos your saying you wanna be in this situation she just get making excuses like it's been ages since he was really bad and it's only been the last few weeks we been like this again! She said if the kids have to go through a bit more of this and I have to just stay in and not have a life then fine but untill I wanna leave and find a back bone I'm not gonna! She says if anyone tells anyone then there just gonna make it worse for them all at home! What the hell do I do!?

Thing is i can say I wanna be kept unknown but she would know it was me anyway as I'm the only person who knows some of the stuff id have to tell them! And I think while she wants to stay with him what can they do! If she wanted to leave but was too scared it would be easier! Do you know what i mean? X

As horrible as it sounds if you call and make an allegation they will be duty bound to investigate. You can of course remain unknown at the beginning but if things develop this may not be possible. If they speak to your friend and she denies everything then there is very little they can do if you chose to remain unknown if that makes sense. Feel free to PM me I'm a police officer if your still unsure etc x x

She been in the situation for a couple of years now! And she still won't leave she loves him!

I called and they begged me to give details but I couldn't I'm scared of what will happen if I do but I'm scared of what will happen if I don't!! ? they said that I can tell them everything and then they will try to talk to her without him around and see if she will talk but I said she won't she wants to be with him! But also I'm scared he would know it was me and what he would do! I don't wanna push her closer to him but I don't want her to die!

Oh no it's always a tricky situation as she can just deny it to the police:-( and they have to take her word for it so sad bag people end up in these relationships and don't seek help but she may get strong enough to leave soon as she has taken a first step and told you

It's 101 the non emergency number, I think you can remain anonymous if you wish, but yeah you should be able to as k advice from them without personal details x