Dd is 2, almost 3 and she makes me laugh all the time! I actually have a memo pad on my phone where I keep her "Quotes of the Day".

We're potty training and she took her diaper off and peed on the hardwood floor without anyone noticing. A few minutes later my 13 year old daughter comes running in to tell me something "important". She slips on the pee and busts her butt. Dd 2 starts laughing hysterically and says, Quote of the Day: "She ran in my pee, man!!" I'm still LMAO ?

We were watching the movie Little Monsters as a family the other night. Dd 2 LOVED it and began demanding that I get her a monster ? After some bickering back and forth she then tells me, "Fine! Just hand me my cuppy then!!"

One more about V8 juice:

Dd "What's that?" Me: "Juice, do you want some?" Dd "Noooo! Ewwww, gross!!" "Here, just taste a little" Dd, giving in, licks the container and says, "I TOLD YOU!! I DON'T like it!!!!" Me: lmao!!

My daughter said to me, “Mommy put a bra on! Your boobies are wiggling!” ?

Baby was crying and my 5 yro said" mommy brother is crying" I said " he is probably hungry" he then goes " yeah just pull your boob out and put him on it"

I was taking a shower the other day and my 4yo son came in the bathroom, ripped back the shower curtain and said "scoot over, I'm comin in" and he was completely undressed. I had no other option but to let him shower with me. All I want is 15 minutes of peace but nooooooo. Lol

My 4 yr old son asked me in front of this guy, why the guy stinks. I told him nobody stinks and he points to him and says yes momma, he stinks. He stinks really bad. I pulled my son aside and told him that wasn't very nice of him and he hurt the mans feelings. He said but momma, did it hurt your feelings. ??I just couldn't hold in my laughter.

One night he was with my mom. He was talking to her and she was playing a game on her phone not listening to him. So he turns to the wall and says "wall are you listening to me? She doesn't listen to me. Maybe you will listen to me wall because she never listens."

We were in the car one day and my son was being naughty. My friend was in the front seat and told him to stop being naughty before he popped him. My son said to him " but who are? Who are you anyways, I'm not scared of you" I was almost in tears ?.

My son told me he wants me to have 5 baby's in my belly. I told him there is only one. He said well other people can put more in there so there can be 5. ?? yea son it doesn't work like that.

My 3 yr old DD and I were getting ready for the day and having small chit chat when she says" I can't wait for the baby to come out mommy " and I told her I know but we have to wait for the baby to finish cooking and she said "well can't we take him out and put him on the stove " lol I fell out laughing!

My son is pretty into this YouTube show called superhero kids and one of the kids on the show wears a dead pool costume my son thinks he’s the coolest so now he has a dead pool Costume and when people ask him what his name is he says “DEADPOOL!” Well 9/10 out of 10 people give me a weird look and ask him if he’s seen dead pool and he says “ya, mommy lets me watch it all the time.” Ugh. At thanksgiving dinner when asked what he was thankful for he said “DEADPOOL!” Then he farted at the table in front of my immediate and extended family. Friggin kid. We don’t act like they a Home I don’t know where he gets it from.

Me and my cousin and her son were shopping one day and I'm guessing as we were in one store my cousins son ( aged 3) had seen he baby stair gate. Well we go to another store and out of no where he says loudly " mommy remember when you put me in the cage and went upstairs" my cousin didn't know what he was talking about and was shhing him haha until we walked past he other store where he baby gates were and he said " I was talking about those "

?????? for some reason he calls it a cage ???

My son just turned two, so he's not an elaborate speaker yet, but it's interesting to see things the way he does.

He held up a slice of deli ham the other day and told me that it looks like "pancaked bacon." It totally does too, but I would have never thought of it that way.

I cant wait for these moments ??

I just sent my 10 yr old to clean her fingernails because they were filthy. I hear this weird sound coming from her bathroom so go see what she is up to. There she is cleaning her fingernails with her toothbrush! She says "what? I rinse it when I'm done"

Today before taking my daughter to school, i usually always take my son with me but this time i decided to leave him with my brother and grandma since he had fallen asleep, soo on our way out my daughter says to my grandma "im leaving okay, you stay here, shh baby is sleeping" but she said it in spanish lol ? the way she said was funny like soo demanding.. she turns 4 nxt month by the way

Couple of weeks before her 2nd bday my DD told a cashier "Daddy at work building sandcastles"

He's a police officer!??! ?

The other night she told me "Mummy take nose off, it's tickley" she has a cold!

She also told DH "Mummy wee'd in shower"... I did NOT wee in the shower! He doesn't believe me.

My husband and I went out with our kids about two weeks ago for my oldest sons birthday. We got to the counter to pay and my husband realized he didn't have his wallet so he goes back out to the car. I had my wallet so I paid for us to get in and went to find a table. I find a table and our waiter comes over to introduce himself. He then starts flirting with me and my four year old says " my daddy just went to the car". The waiter says "oh daddy is here too"?? And my son says "yeah and there's a baby in my mommy's tummy". It took everything for me to not laugh. Waiter just apologizes and walks away. As he's walking away my husband is walking in. That waiter never came back. We ended up with the manager after that for some reason ?

DS (5 yrs old) announced to our waiter that Mommy isn’t fat but just has a baby in her belly and then that Daddy doesn’t he just likes French fries ?