Hilarious (and true) things kids say.
So DH just got home from work and was sitting down to eat a yogurt, having a chat with DS (5yo). DH has been doing the dishes lately because it absolutely kills my back right now. He didn't get around to doing them last night with plans to do them after eating. So DS asks why he didn't do them last night. DH replies "cuz your dad is just a little bit lazy". Ds quipped "Dad, your SUCH a man" complete with little eye roll
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My 4 yr old son asked me in front of this guy, why the guy stinks. I told him nobody stinks and he points to him and says yes momma, he stinks. He stinks really bad. I pulled my son aside and told him that wasn't very nice of him and he hurt the mans feelings. He said but momma, did it hurt your feelings. ??I just couldn't hold in my laughter.
One night he was with my mom. He was talking to her and she was playing a game on her phone not listening to him. So he turns to the wall and says "wall are you listening to me? She doesn't listen to me. Maybe you will listen to me wall because she never listens."
We were in the car one day and my son was being naughty. My friend was in the front seat and told him to stop being naughty before he popped him. My son said to him " but who are? Who are you anyways, I'm not scared of you" I was almost in tears ?.
My son told me he wants me to have 5 baby's in my belly. I told him there is only one. He said well other people can put more in there so there can be 5. ?? yea son it doesn't work like that.
My 3 yr old DD and I were getting ready for the day and having small chit chat when she says" I can't wait for the baby to come out mommy " and I told her I know but we have to wait for the baby to finish cooking and she said "well can't we take him out and put him on the stove " lol I fell out laughing!
My son is pretty into this YouTube show called superhero kids and one of the kids on the show wears a dead pool costume my son thinks he’s the coolest so now he has a dead pool Costume and when people ask him what his name is he says “DEADPOOL!” Well 9/10 out of 10 people give me a weird look and ask him if he’s seen dead pool and he says “ya, mommy lets me watch it all the time.” Ugh. At thanksgiving dinner when asked what he was thankful for he said “DEADPOOL!” Then he farted at the table in front of my immediate and extended family. Friggin kid. We don’t act like they a Home I don’t know where he gets it from.
Me and my cousin and her son were shopping one day and I'm guessing as we were in one store my cousins son ( aged 3) had seen he baby stair gate. Well we go to another store and out of no where he says loudly " mommy remember when you put me in the cage and went upstairs" my cousin didn't know what he was talking about and was shhing him haha until we walked past he other store where he baby gates were and he said " I was talking about those "
?????? for some reason he calls it a cage ???
Today before taking my daughter to school, i usually always take my son with me but this time i decided to leave him with my brother and grandma since he had fallen asleep, soo on our way out my daughter says to my grandma "im leaving okay, you stay here, shh baby is sleeping" but she said it in spanish lol ? the way she said was funny like soo demanding.. she turns 4 nxt month by the way
Couple of weeks before her 2nd bday my DD told a cashier "Daddy at work building sandcastles"
He's a police officer!??! ?
The other night she told me "Mummy take nose off, it's tickley" she has a cold!
She also told DH "Mummy wee'd in shower"... I did NOT wee in the shower! He doesn't believe me.
My husband and I went out with our kids about two weeks ago for my oldest sons birthday. We got to the counter to pay and my husband realized he didn't have his wallet so he goes back out to the car. I had my wallet so I paid for us to get in and went to find a table. I find a table and our waiter comes over to introduce himself. He then starts flirting with me and my four year old says " my daddy just went to the car". The waiter says "oh daddy is here too"?? And my son says "yeah and there's a baby in my mommy's tummy". It took everything for me to not laugh. Waiter just apologizes and walks away. As he's walking away my husband is walking in. That waiter never came back. We ended up with the manager after that for some reason ?
Would you consider this cheating? What would you do
I need advice from a neutral stand point. Genuine advice of what you would do. Ds had his tonsils out last night. For some reason my gut about dh was not good. At night I logged into his Snapchat and saw he was talking to an old friend who he had a thing with. Last thing I was able to see was him saying it was hard to not log into those pictures and she then said she couldn't answer the phone because she was with her husband. I texted dh and a...
Science!
My friend posted this on facebook last night and said her kids were asleep within minutes. It's a song that scientists created to help people fall asleep. I was skeptical but I thought what the hay, I'll try it out. I didn't bank on Dh falling asleep, but both him and lo were asleep by minute 2. And lo slept six straight hours. ?
Do y’all let your husbands cook sometime? Can he throw down? What do the kids think about his cooking vs your cooking? My husband made some very very very salty chili last night. It was ok with sour cream smothered on top and cheese. Kids couldn’t eat it though. Lol
Dd is 2, almost 3 and she makes me laugh all the time! I actually have a memo pad on my phone where I keep her "Quotes of the Day".
We're potty training and she took her diaper off and peed on the hardwood floor without anyone noticing. A few minutes later my 13 year old daughter comes running in to tell me something "important". She slips on the pee and busts her butt. Dd 2 starts laughing hysterically and says, Quote of the Day: "She ran in my pee, man!!" I'm still LMAO ?
We were watching the movie Little Monsters as a family the other night. Dd 2 LOVED it and began demanding that I get her a monster ? After some bickering back and forth she then tells me, "Fine! Just hand me my cuppy then!!"
One more about V8 juice:
Dd "What's that?" Me: "Juice, do you want some?" Dd "Noooo! Ewwww, gross!!" "Here, just taste a little" Dd, giving in, licks the container and says, "I TOLD YOU!! I DON'T like it!!!!" Me: lmao!!