Small trigger
So I saw this story on face book and I was appalled. Then I opened the comments section (I knew better lol) and was even more disgusted with people. Tell me what you think
Комментарии
Like I said, I don't care about the legality of it. It's not the "vigilante justice" aspect of it that bothers me. It's the fact that she's an adult who used violence against a child. It seems possible that the parents of the attacked girl may seek retribution, or they could simply tell their daughter that she got what she deserved. My hope is that this is the end of the bullying on both sides and they all make better choices from here on out.
In my situation, the other side didn't want to work with us. We are sacrificing a lot for me to stay home and homeschool our children so they don't have to go back to the toxic environment of that public school. It's not easy and it's not something I ever dreamed I'd be doing. But it was an extreme measure that we felt was best for the well being of our son.
I understand that I don't live there and that other cultures are different from mine. But there are some lines that shouldn't be crossed in any culture. Hurting children is one of those lines. Like I said, if the mom had gone and beaten up the parents, great. If she had taught her daughter self defense or martial arts, even better. I don't particularly care about the legality of anything except for the fact that the daughter is now out of a mom while she does jail time. Hopefully, the mom has learned a valuable lesson through all this and will find a better way to handle conflict in the future.
But yaya, you're still judging it from the perspective of the world you live in which is understandable but not the way of the world in many other places. You said "we have all learned to resolve conflict peacefully" what do you do when the other side don't want to resolve it peacefully? As for the "luxury of snapping" it's called "snapping" for a reason. It's not a conscious decision and theres a thing in court called "mitigating circumstances" for that reason. I'm not the only one here saying your way, while morally right, is idealistic in a place where morals are seriously lacking. There are ways and cultures from other countries and places that are alien to me but I can't argue that it's their way. The same goes for this. You are very lucky to live somewhere where reason may prevail and people are decent and want things sorted peacefully but sadly it's just not the way in a lot of places. So what you or I would do and what this woman did are world's apart because we don't live in that world but I used to.
As a parent I don't have the luxury of snapping. Who takes care of my children if I'm arrested? Who will be there to protect them while I'm in jail? What's to stop a judge from drawing the conclusion that if I am capable of snapping and beating up a child that I won't snap again later on when my own child acts up? A parent has too many responsibilities to "snap".
This hits close to home for me. My son was being targeted at school. By the adults as well as other children. In turn, he started to bully a little girl. It's maddening and frustrating and exhausting trying to advocate and protect your child, especially when you see them becoming the thing you are fighting against. I get it. But as much as I disliked the child that was the root of my son's issues. I also realized that he was struggling too. Having compassion for someone doesn't forgive the bad behavior. Things are a lot better for my son now that we have all learned a more peaceful approach to conflict resolution.
I totally agree in a perfect world it should never happen but sadly we don't all live in a world where we feel we have any other choice. She battered those two girls in broad daylight after an incident in a playground which leads me to believe she snapped. Has to really been at her breaking point to do that. I think the law and the powers that be need to take a certain amount of responsibility for when people turn vigilante though, especially when a person has tried to do things the right way. Hopefully none of us end up in a situation like she did.
I don't adhere to the idea of "not my kid, not my problem". I understand that the mother wanted to protect her child. I would want to do the same. But I will not be convinced that the mother had exhausted every avenue and that beating those girls black and blue was the only recourse. Had her daughter fought back on her own, or if the mom had gone and beat up the bullies parents for not doing anything about their daughters, I'd be more understanding. But an adult beating up on children is not ok.
@yaya whatever those girls emotional needs may be, it is not for the mother of their victim to provide it. That's their own parents job and if their parents won't provide it, the state should step in, but doesn't. Either way, what kind of life my child's bully is living wouldn't interest me in the slightest, only protecting my child. I will watch that link as soon as I get a chance on my own.
Yes I read the article. I know they weren't hiding it. I'm saying that they will next time. Sorry I wasn't clear about that. I'm not a "bleeding heart". I think I'm a realist. These girls already know about violence, aggression, domination, control, intimidation, etc. It's what they've likely been taught their whole lives. What they don't know about is nurturing, compassion, understanding, acceptance, accountability, forgiveness...
If the status quo has continued to produce these issues generation after generation then how is more violence going to stop it?
Did you watch the video link yet? I know it's a commitment but I'd love to get your feedback on it. I'm not a member of that church. But her message is a good one even without the religious aspect of it.
Those girls need attention and compassion. They crave it even if they don't realize it. They are 12/13 years old. They are not a lost cause yet. There is still time to help them even if their families are not supportive. I also hope that the girl that was bullied is getting proper help as well. It's a sad situation all around.
@yaya did you read the article? They weren't hiding it. They were taunting and attacking a girl and her mother in a housing estate and throwing eggs at their house. That is hardly the actions of a group who'd want it hidden from their parents. This was blatant harassment with no thought of repercussions because in their heads there wouldn't be any. They were wrong. Can't expect anyone to wait around until their child is completely terrorised and possibly seriously hurt or suicidal while playing the "bleeding heart" to the aggressors. Some people have no moral compass and were raised by people exactly the same. It's unfortunate that people have to take the law into their own hands but if you're gonna play with fire, sometimes you'll get burned.
Or it will push them deeper into their anger and frustration causing them to become more violent and uncontrollable. Children who are bullies are usually already being bullied by the adults in their lives. Having another adult exert power and control over them in a violent way isn't likely to solve the problem. If anything those girls will just learn to hide it better the next time they find someone to pick on.
I live about 10 minutes from where this happened. I can say @Clovers is right, it's a rough area, it's not that simple to just speak to their parents and school and expect understanding in return.
With that being said, I don't feel sorry for the girls at all. Shouldn't be little bullies, should you? Bet they'll think twice before bullying someone else.
Damn Clovers! Sounds rough over there. I have mixed feelings over this. I used to live in one of the worst neighborhoods in Brooklyn and the kids there were horrible fighting, shooting, bullying, gangs. It was terrible. The schools couldn't do anything about anything because of overcrowding. It was like prison. And most of the parents were too busy hanging out drinking and getting high to care what their kids were doing. I have seen some parents try to take up for their kids and get jumped by the kids bullying their child. It was crazy.
Clovers is correct. I'm also from the uk. Families are terrified to stand up to these people,incase it makes it worse and our homes get ruined. Children here have no fear of parents atall. If you stand up for your child, the bullies will also make you a victim. Shouting at you when you leave your home,throwing things at you. Police don't do anything. Luckily I don't live in a bad area,but I did, I used to have a group of kids try and attack me just for walking to a bus stop. My mum unfortunately still lives in the same area. She's classed as disabled,and they shout Abuse at her when she leaves the house. The parents don't stop them. They leave it up to us to sort it out.
The amount of cars they keyed that belonged to us. Also they would stand outside in groups of 10 telling us to come out so they can "kick our ass" and wouldn't leave until we did. We had to wait untill they left. Police here are AWFUL
@yaya this incident was in the UK. It's not like the USA, in ireland and the UK there generally isn't school councillors or understanding parents. Certainly here in Dublin in similar type of areas as where this incident happened, if you were to cause hassle for a family over their child being a bully, they'd just send the rest of the family around to smash your windows. We're not talking about upstanding citizens here. These kids aren't brought up, they're dragged up and parents don't care and the police can do nothing and the schools are too afraid of their own windows getting smashed to do too much about it. In one area here in Dublin, a favourite game of the "children" or "minors" is standing around outside their own homes getting drunk on cans of beer and flagons of cider and attacking the fire engines and ambulances that enter the area. Think talking to their parents will help?? On Halloween night these little scumbags lit a fire in a field that got out of hand and the riot squad had to escort the fire brigade into the area. It is not like the USA where people sue each other over a disagreement. They batter each other and send the whole family to "sort you out" and that area in Manchester where the bullying was occurring in the link is a fairly similar place. Those type of people only understand one way, getting a taste of their own medicine.
There were other things she could have done in addition. Believe me, if it were my kid and the school didn't respond I'd be all over the school board, the local news, ect. As for the actual bullying, i don't know what the kids were doing. It didn't say anything about beating in the poor kid, so i don't know. All I know is a full grown adult beating up on children, for any reason other than direct physical defense, turns my stomach, even if those kids were little monsters.
Umm hanging outside of my home taunting my child.. yes expect to be approached by their mother. I dont feel sorry for those girls at all. The reactions would be different if they had jumped her daughter or ran up and tried to fight mom and daughter. Which if they were yelling at mom too then they weren't afraid.
What she did was absolutely wrong. She acted like a bully her self. You don't stoop to the level of beating a minor just because you're frustrated. I understand her wanting to protect her daughter, but that's not the way to go about it. I was bullied in high school so bad, but I would have never wanted my mom to go beat the crap out of the girls. I would have been so embarrassed.
The mom did a horrible thing. There were so many ways for her to try to solve this peacefully. Instead she decided to set a bad example for her daughter and for the bullies. She taught them all that violence is justified when you lose your temper. As a parent she has a greater responsibility to show those girls the appropriate way to resolve a conflict. She failed. Probably because she was never taught any better, either.
I agree the school majorly dropped the ball. Bullying is a huge issue and needs to be fixed. But I have to say I think she went too far. It's one thing to directly protect yourself and your child, but to run out in the street to attack a 13 and 15 year old child, however horrible little monsters they are, is waaaaaaay outta line. Yes she went to the school, and the police, but before physically attack a child of be all over the media and the local school board until that school did something and the principal got canned.
What she did was legally wrong and she's been punished for it. Do I find it morally wrong? No. We all have our breaking point and she tried going about it the right way and got nowhere. You could argue they are children but they weren't behaving like children, they were behaving like little thugs and I just hope the beating teaches them to think twice before they try bullying and harassing someone else or else in the future, they'll end up in prison. If my child and my home was constantly under attack, too right I'd do what I had to do to defend it.
Short Luteal Phase?
I've just started temping because I believe that the reason I haven't had a BFP yet, after 20 months, is because I believe I may have a Luteal Phase Defect.
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
Yes, undoubtedly she shouldn't have done what she did - and she will most likely receive a lot of crap from the actions she had taken. Inevitably in this area, actually. But the point is, she saw red, her rational mind was blinkered for that moment, and all she cared about was how these children were hurting her own child. I am sure she doesn't feel brilliant about hitting a child either. But what's done is done, and those kids probably won't bully her daughter again.
And I can honestly say, if I ever heard my daughter was made to feel unsafe and upset by nasty kids, I do not know what I would have done in her position if I was to be blinkered by it.