So right after my son was born I had a bleeding issue. I had him 100% no meds so I felt everything. To stop my bleeding they announced that they would have to insert a suppository and give me a shot in my thigh...well I didn't hear the first part of that message so when she inserted it I shouted (in a crowded room) "What the he// are you doing in my a$$??" There was a bunch of looking around and my friend and dad said "Kels they told you they were doing that"...lol awkward

With my second, my midwife kept putting her fingers up my vag and telling me to push against them. It was a natural water birth so I could feel everything and it was super uncomfortable, and I asked her at least 3 times nicely to stop doing it. Finally she did it again and I guess I snapped and yelled at her, "Genny, get your fingers outta there!!" My mom was there and was trying so hard not to laugh. My daughter is almost 2 and my mom and a few other family members will still bring it up and laugh about it.

Was given some pain medicine and apparently hit on my husband pretty aggressively. Lol told him he looked so handsome and that I wanted a yard full of boys and dogs. Everyone got a kick out of that

With my second pregnancy my labor was so short (3hrs) that by the time we made it to the hospital i was to dilated to have an epi. I wad hooked up to a bunch of monitors that were beeping and making noises. The pain was super intense and i would start of breathing thru them and go into screaming thru them. My ex was standing beside me and the beeping monitors. My nurse came in to check on me. She was great. I loved her. But she was a very burly kinda rough and tumble kinda women. My ex was 5'6 and maybe 120. While she was standing there i had a very bad contraction and of course i started screeching. Well something at that moment cause the monitors to all start beeping to. My ex then looks over in my general direction and said "Omg!just shut up already, everythings fine". My nurse heard that and actually proceeded around the bed to him asking him what the hell he just say. She was on the verge of beating him before he could get out that he meant the monitor not me. Lol. But the look on his face was priceless.

When I had my first child my labor progressed very fast (6hrs from start to finish). So as soon as i was sent up to L&D i was already 6 cm dilated. They went ahead and gave me my epi. I got checked a few hour later and was only at 7. My dr decided to go take his lunch. And would come back later and check me. Within an hour I had to go poo. Kept begging my mom to help me go poo and she just kept telling me to hold on. My sis ran to get the nurse. She told my sis i couldn't be ready to push they just checked me and it would be several more hours before i actual would push. I was still upset thinking i had to go poo. Finally my mother went out and got a different nurse She can and checked me and sure enough my daughter was crowning. They paged my doc and he made it to me just in time to catch my daughter in his suit still. They only thing i could say when she was born was i told you i had to poop. It was awful. That's my earliest memory of giving birth.

I went in for induction that ended in a csection. Threw up the entire time. My nurse was an absolute saint. She stayed with me an hour after her shift was over for my csection.

I threw up all over her in the or ? multiple times. I felt awful.

In labor with my son they put a catheter in and it hurt. I also already told them I could walk to the bathroom I didn't want it. The nurse was like you have to have it. I yelled if you don't take this thing out of me I'll rip it out myself! They moved quickly to get it out. Lol. Then my dad came up there and I started to bleed heavily. So I pushed that damn button like 5 times. My dad went to go get someone and saw all the nurses laughing and talking in a damn corner! All of a sudden I hear my dad yelling "what do you think this is? The club? You are in here cackling like damn hens while my daughter is bleeding and in labor?! What the hell is wrong with all you?!" They came quickly in. It was a terrible hospital and they don't even have a maternity ward anymore.

@pp I just laughed so hard!! Thank god it's not really inches though!! I can't even imagine how much more painful that would be ?

My husband kept updating everyone with how dilated I was....in INCHES ?

So, my husband, bless his heart, knows how modest I am. It was just the two of us in the room and I was laboring on my hands and knees for most of my labor and my gown kept falling open. Every time it happened he immediately pulled it back closed for me until I finally yelled at him to knock it off because he was driving me effing insane. In hindsight, it was super sweet of him, but in the moment I wanted to throttle him ?

Well, I told myself my whole pregnancy I wasn’t gonna get an epidural. My labor was 4 hours long and by the 3rd hour I felt like I was about to die and the nurse just kept telling me it would get worse so to get an epidural. I told her no a few times. she was walking past my bed and I grabbed her by the pants and started crying soooo loud lol. She held me like a big ole baby and was like “is it safe to call an anesthesiologist?”

And after I gave birth, another nurse thought that I could walk since I could feel her touching my legs. She helped me stand up and I fell right on top of her lol. I will never forget, it was her fist day on the job and she was so sweet I felt so bad ?

I thought of another funny moment. After I gave birth she told me I ripped in 2 different places and I asked like 4 times if I ripped my clitoris. She kept laughing saying no you didn't rip your clitoris.?

I had a crazy good epidural so I had absolutely no control of my legs.

After I gave birth, when the doctor was putting a couple stitches in down there, I inadvertently farted right in her face. I don’t think I knew it was coming because the epidural was so strong. ? I immediately apologized and was so embarrassed!

Not about me, but about my SO. After 36 hours of labor I ended up needing a Csection so they wheeled me away. My SO walked in a few minutes later covered up with a face mask, hair net, gown, etc. All I could see were his eyes wide open and I asked him what was wrong and he didn't answer. When they finally got my son out and washed him, the doctor tried handing him over to my SO and my SO said "I'll hold him in a bit" while he kept staring at me looking so scared.

Later when we were settled in the room, I asked him what went wrong and why he acted weird. He said he walked in and saw me cut and spread open and my insides had been put to the side in a bowl and he was trying his hardest not to pass out. He did have it bad though, he had nightmares about up until a month later.

I’m dying at some of these! ?

With my 3rd baby I had a huge plate of lasagna the night before and I could tell I was pooping as I pushed....I stopped pushing and yelled “Am I pooping!??” Docs and nurses said “push” I yelled “I am not pushing anymore until someone moves that poop”

I made the nurse scoop up the poop before I would continue pushing lol

My water broke so hubby and I headed to the L&D triage. While we were in a room waiting to see the doc, we could hear a woman having contractions and they were so loud. We looked at each other awkwardly, because it was so animalistic. I think I even made a joke about how I would never make that much sound. Well... About an hour later, my contractions all of a sudden kicked into high gear and I was the woman making the crazy noises ?

When my contractions got bad I cursed alot. Usually just yelled the word f*** over and over again and then after the contraction was over would apologize to everyone in the room. My nurses apparently loved me and kept visiting me while I was recovering lmao.

I was thinking it was almost time to head to the hospital with my first. Then my brother called to remind me about the cookout they were having at his house. So ya I went there first lol! Sat there stuffing my face and discreetly timing my contractions on this app. Then my brother caught on to how i was acting at the same time his father in law did, they came over, asked what I was looking at, took my phone and went thru the counter and told me he really thought it was time for me to go lol! They seemed to think it was weird I was so calm but I was hungry!!

I had to have an emergency c-section. I puked on the doctor. Then I asked a nurse to put my leg back on the table... it was on the table the whole time ?.

Then when the got him out the nurse said “he has red hair!!!” my reaction was “omg no” lol I love his red hair so idk why I said that. I had nurses keep coming in my room because they heard about the little red head the whole time I was in the hospital.

A lot of these really made me laugh out loud I can’t think of anything right now though mine was intense

I told the doctor she had to have some sort of numbing spray for down there ?

I told my mom to shut the f*ck up while I was in labor....the only time I EVER said that to her in my life lol.... as soon as it came out, I flinched, expecting her to slap the sh!t outta me ???

I got a pass on that one.

Lol with my first, I apparently went to go bite my fiances hand. I can't remember if I did actually bite it or if he pulled it away ?

With my second, on our way to the hospital, we stopped at the gas station and got snacks. Also, my epi wore off after half an hour and they needed to empty my bladder so I could start pushing. My midwife put a catheter or something of that sort in for a minute while my bladder emptied, I wasn't expecting it at all and I looked at her and yelled "what the f*** is that?!?!" It hurt... so bad lol.

With my son they used a Little hook thing to break my water so I could push and something took over me. I bleated like a goat! ? it was so facking funny! I had absoulte no control over it. I just seriously felt like a goat at that moment.

Nothing really funny happened with my daughter. I was just casually having a conversation with the nurses about the breast crawl that newborns do and offered to show them.

Screaming on the top of my lungs “in pain” now that I think back I wasn’t in much pain I was just tired of being in labor and my nurses were not happy..

I don’t remember this but I guess before I got my epidural the contractions hurt so bad I told my husband “I can’t do this, she can just live in there forever, let’s go home”

The nurse asked the dr if she should break the bed down yet so I could deliver, thank God for perfect timing because as he said NO she came out on the bed! The dr freaked so bad he ran and picked her up with no gloves on yet

When my DD was crowning they asked if I'd like to have a mirror to see and I yelled "HELLLLLL NOOOO!!!!!!" everyone laughed. I had 4 family members, 3 nurses and the doc all laughing at this.

I still don't know why they laughed at me just saying no. I was scared to see my vag all out there and inside out feeling n whatnot. Idk I just don't think it's funny and People still remind me of that ?I'm like uhh ok? I'm supposed to laugh?

I cursed my sister black n blue, ending with a final "I AM FACKING BREATHING" for repeatedly telling me to breathe. She left the room and never came back till I was in my regular room lol

After having my dd I decided for some reason not to let my nurse know I was ready to get up and go to the restroom. I got out of bed, took one step and fell straight to the ground. I thought my epidural wore off enough to get up, I was so wrong. ??‍♀️

During my c section I kept asking if someone could scratch my butt crack. It felt so weird and of course it was never scratched lol.

Nothing real crazy but....

With my first I just kept asking if my son had hair when they said they could see his head. No idea why I kept asking. By that time I was exhausted.

The 2nd when I pushed i peeded everywhere. Also, when the dr came in and said to.late for an epi I said as loud as I could "you're f**king kidding me right"

I told my husband if he didn't stop working and take care of our 3 yo I was going to throw his God damn computer out the effin window

I farted not while pushing but while I was getting up to walk before getting the epidural lol. That’s it nothing crazy ?

When I went in for a c section after 56 hours in labor, I was exhausted and loopy. In the OR, I asked the dr. if they would hold my baby up like Simba from the Lion King after they got her out.

After I pushed my daughter out, I felt something else coming out and yelled “what the HELL is that?!” The dr says “it’s the placenta....you know...the thing that comes after the baby....”

I felt so dumb considering this was my third birth ?

The nurses and I were cracking jokes back and forth while I was pushing. I literally almost laughed my baby out!

My epidural make me so numb that it was totally strange. They asked me to help them switch positions onto my side. I kept telling the nurse that i couldnt move the pillow behind me. Turns out the pillow was my bum. It was strange, but funny

My nurse thought it was hilarious when I told her I couldn't breathe and she's like what's wrong. I said I need a pillow for my boobs. She thought it was so funny. Everytime she helped me switch positions she'd be like "Let me get your boob pillow." Then laugh lol.

I was still wrapping Christmas gifts and my contractions we're like 3 to 5 minutes apart and very strong. Haha it was on Christmas eve. I wanted to make sure my kids gifts were wrapped before I went to hospital. Lmao I won't do that again!!!