Newlyironman
newlyironman
Newlyironman·Мама двоих (младенец)

why would you be fired?

So if being a mom was an actual (literal) job, what is something you've done recently that would have gotten you fired?

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I gave dd fruit snacks as an actual snack. And I went to target and bought her gerber snacks instead of fruit. She still has a chocolate milk stach since the morning?

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@ivonne that's great ❤️

it's not sexual harassment if he likes it ?

That's having an affair with the boss ?

The boss wouldn't fire you for that, but might give you a bonus ?

@cmj I'd make him switch shoes with me by taking off one weekend and having an exact list of tasks etc that he expects done that have to be in order by the time you get home, he's also supposed to care for the children the way you do.

Maybe sign up for that mommy for a day or such reality show. ?

Then see how lazy he thinks you are.

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I'm sooo glad I'm not the only one!! I've had to rewash a load like 3 times the past 6 months and always feel like such an idiot!

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Leaving laundry in the dryer

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Assuming DH is the boss, I would be fired for sexual harassment against him ?

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Not recently, but when my dd was a few weeks old I put her with her car seat in the rear hatch of my car and didn't realize it until I was wondering why I was still holding groceries, staring at my backseat.

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Slerping half the day.

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Bribery-i give dd a lollipop to persuade her to do things. I lose my patience too easily and it's better than yelling at her.

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I bribed my sons to come to the gym this morning. I bought them cookies in the gym daycare and let them play on their tablets when we got home.

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I gave my son an ice cream sundae for breakfast ??‍♀️

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Good Lord!... lets see...umm yelling at my 2 and 8 year old girls for wrestling and letting my one year just run a muck thru the house and get into the pots and pans and trash occasionally. Im also pregnant again....? and tired all the time with a blazing headache so my husband thinks im super lazy...if only he knew what it was like to switch places with me a day!

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Left a jar of vaseline (large one) where 2.5 yr old dd could get to it. Toys, clothes and her rug were covered in vaseline. This was yesterday, and there are still some toys/her rug covered in it because i can't bring myself to clean them.

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I've been trying to put my baby down for a nap now for about two hours and failing..

The customer is not always right

Baby you ARE tired, take a nap! ?

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I have a ton of laundry I need to do. I haven't unloaded the dishwasher in 2 days. And I'm definitely not cooking tonight.

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I forgot to buckle my baby in his carseat while I ran to the store...ughhhhh I still hate myself for that

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I'm just a terrible "house wife" in general. I never even would've gotten hired.

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I let the girls have veggie nuggets for breakfast. Instead of doing our learning activity this morning, I let them play with their water table and bubbles. I have piles of clothes that haven't been put away in a week. The girls just went down for a nap so I should honestly be cleaning but instead I'm on bb while eating a couple of hot wings for lunch. ?

Came back to add another. I turned my back for five seconds to attempt getting a coffee just to hear my 3.5 year old dd yell dramatically "Oh no!" The twins threw two of their battery operated toys into their water table. They're destroyed now so into the trash they went. ?

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I started the walk to nursery with my son in the pouring rain and only realised about 2 minutes into our walk I had forgotten to put any shoes on him ?

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Insubordination - several times just today.

Gross misconduct - stuck my nose to two bums, also checked under the pants. It was completely unwarranted because there were no actual messes, just gas.

Erratic behaviour - the new norm.

These are just the top three on a long list so Idk why I haven't been fired yet.

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For sitting on my pregnant butt all day. I clean up my house once a day basically then the rest of the day if I'm not out or at work all I want to do is sit on my butt lol.

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Because my kid had a poopsplosion at the play place and I didn’t have a change of clothes for him in the diaper bag but let him keep playing anyway. He ran around with socks, a t shirt, and pull up for 30 minutes so I could take a break. ??‍♀️

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The other day I forgot to put the clothes in the dryer and left them in the washing machine for 3 days ? I really suck at laundry

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Yelling. ?????

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I was trying to clean and organize our home office because we're putting our house up for sale...so I wasn't keeping a watchful eye on my girls like I normally do. They were "too quiet", so I went to check on them and they toilet papered the entire bedroom and wrapped themselves up in toilet paper, lol ? I was in awe...my middle daughter replies, " We were getting ready to play Mummy for Halloween like Vampirina." Thanks Disney Channel for the great idea, love ya !

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I only unloaded half of the dishwasher. Some of the dishes were still dirty so I ran that batch again instead of waiting. I have a load of laundry in the dryer full of just my clothes, I don't want to fold them so I've just been "fluffing" them in the dryer before I need to wear something lol I let DS cry for 10 minutes straight this morning because I NEEDED a shower so bad.

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Also I just took my lo to the sitter so I can be alone.

Fire me if you want. But we all need a day off!!!

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Whites have been in the dryer for 3 days now unloaded and wrinkley asf!

I havent pack for crap and I gotta move in 9 days ?

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I left folded clothes out so long that I'm rewashing them (ds ran through them). I also let ds have cookies for breakfast because they were "low carb" and figured it'd be no worse than pancakes. ?

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Because my dishes and laundry are being ignored... Again... Oops. I'm just not feeling it.

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Daughter hasn't bathed in 3 days, We ran out of milk this morning and barely had enough for this morning so ran to gas station before work to get her some, and she ran out of her fav snacks.

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The same load of clothes has been sitting on my couch for about four days...I just can't bring myself to fold them right now. I also let ds have a taste of my frosting because he wouldn't stop crawling and putting his hands in my plate lol.

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For not clipping both my son's fingernails ? does that count?

Or letting the clean clothes sit in the laundry basket for almost a week now.

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Today id be fired for my bad attitude. ? not towards the baby....

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My son fires me atleast twice a day lol ??‍♀️. It ranges from not giving him gummies, to making him clean up his toys lol

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Son hasn't had a bath in 3 days. I need to go grocery shopping bc we have no food for prepped meals ? I had my 2 yr old in size 6 sweat pants yesterday because he peed all over his jeans and had no spare clothes w me at the moment. Lol

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I'm pretty sure this is day 6 since I last bathed the twins.... ?

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I regularly find -what I like to call- science experiments under DDs bed. I'm not sure why she likes to mix things that have no business being mixed. Yet, I keep letting her have her own time to do it. The most recent is milk and orange jello. ?

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My husband would be my boss, so I texted him this post and asked him the question... he said I not only wouldn't be fired but he'd give me a huge raise ??...

He says that I'm an amazing mom and he couldn't do anything without me..

❤️❤️?

But I feel far from what he says...

I'm pregnant again and these hormones are making me a crying mess, I had to turn paw patrol on for 20min while I went and cried in bed because I dropped my 2 1/2 yr olds egg on the floor cause I tripped(he was hanging on my leg so I was off balance), when he had been asking for it...

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My daughter almost chocked on a pistachio shell that was under our couch for god knows how long.

I also took my kids to work one day (my work day starts around 10 am) and I had to stop at the deli along the way becuase my son said "hey mom you forgot to make me breakfast." ?

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