they're coming for a vacation...

Yikes! I never understand why adults tell kids they're going to do all this stuff with them without checking with the parents. What if the parents don't want that to happen? Now the kid is disappointed because the other adults led them to believe this stuff would be happening. ?

Yea, she should definitely check with u first before telling him. Is there a specific reason u don't want her taking him out though? How old is he?

He's 3 and I don't trust her. She's made some inappropriate comments before that make me uneasy. And last time we went out together to a children's museum, I went and sat down for them to get some time to watch him and they lost him within 3 minutes....

Are they questionable people? Otherwise those sound like nice, short activities and it's nice to have alone time with the new baby too.

Then yea, if you don't trust her, she can't be alone. Have you told her?

Why would you not?

I don't tell her anything. If I'm not face to face with her, we don't speak. She only asks about me if I'm pregnant. Other than that, I think there's a mutual understand that we don't get along

Girl I felt like this too, until I had my baby and my parents took my son all over having fun lol. It was honestly the best thing as I had time to relax and do nothing but cater to my newborn and myself. My son had a blast all day so he wasn't jealous of the baby at all it was very nice.

Op I guess you have your reasons, a lost child is a bit of a panic.

I wish I had grandparents this enthusiastic and go above and beyond. Truly.

?

I agree with op, that's crossing a line. In order to do all that fun stuff, they would need to be putting lo in a car- that's a huge issue with me. Unless lo is out of the booster seat and can safely buckle in alone, car rides are a very touchy subject with me. Most people don't triple check the car seat straps, buckles, and chest clip and they don't know or don't see it as a big deal as long as they are in seat. I've even seen​ SO put my little one in the carseat with a larger jacket on him because he didn't know?- how are these people who are coming in from out of town supposed to be up to date on everything. I'm glad they are excited to spend time with lo BUT there is so many fun things to get lo excited over at home that is age appropriate andddd safe..

Are they responsible and trustworthy? I definitely agree that you should be asked instead of told, but if my mil offered this when I have a newborn, I'd be a little excited. I would get to nap when needed, and it'd be easy to get adjusted if my son were entertained, happy, and tired by the end of the day. Win win... I love my mil though, and we talk a lot.

Edit: I just saw the fact that you don't trust her, and she's lost him before. I understand now. At least you have some time to figure out a new plan.

They're super excited to see him.....once or twice a year. We saw them in January because we basically forced them to come. Between January and July they won't come because my sil plays college softball and they're not willing to miss a single game even for us to visit them

Ohhhh, well??

So how are you going to soften the blow when you tell them? Do they always hve to have you around?

Not me. At least my husband. I don't care if I go. But a parent should be there.

I love my in laws and it drives me bonkers when they say things like that to my kids without asking me. Don't tell my 4 yr old you're taking her to the zoo on vacation without asking me and making a solid plan to do it, bc she will remember you said it and get upset when it doesn't happen.

I understand why you're upset op, and I know there's some history there. I hope you and DH can set them straight.

I would just tell her now. Or have your dh plan to go ahead of time. We don't leave ds with anyone. So, I understand that.

Can we call it a "vacation" in quotes when they get there?! Because, really, who burdens a mom whose just given birth with making themselves a houseguest? Did you guys time it out that way on purpose?

Oh Ya if I can trust them then no! But my kids are staying with my MIL while I have this baby and she can keep them for a week and I be ok because I trust her completely, but she has earned that trust and is a awesome mother/grandmother.

@carr they are coming for 4th of July to "meet the baby" so they don't have to take time off. They need their days of to travel to their daughters games and they just don't have any extra to spare ?

Nope! They would have to reschedule to a time that's convenient for me. I HATE when people think they can come make themselves at home after I've just given birth (this will be our 4th). Like get the hell out I'm not cooking, cleaning, nor getting dressed for anyone after my section. I want time to bond with baby and get our house adjusted. And your situation is a big nope for real. So they want to come at the dumbest time possible thennnn they want to play around the world with your 3yr old and they already can't be trusted. Hell no.