Had a new one today "stop trying to kick me in the boobs!" My daughter and I took a shower together. I had her on the bed and was putting a diaper on her before I got dressed and she kept kicking at my boobs lol.

Stop hiding apple cores and banana peels under the couches, under your bed... under the bathroom sink...... behind furniture etc etc!

Do not hit when you're mad

Stop tying everything together.

(I hate untying their knots!!!!!)

Stop licking my hair

Stop biting my hair

Or the one I say about 100 times a day stop throwing the pillows on the floor

Sweetheart you can't just bounce on the bike now you don't wear a nappy..

She bounce jumped on the seat, and found out the hard way she had no cushioning.. ?

"Omg stop kicking, poo is flicking everywhere"...

Said to dd 8months

Don't put your butt in mommy's face

STOP LICKING THE FLOOR

Stop letting your brother put his toothbrush in your butt crack. This is bath time, and if you keep letting him do that, then you'll both get out of the tub

Oh my god. The toothbrush one. I was crying and snorting from laughing so hard. I'm still wiping tears away. ????

Please stand up and be a human you're not a dog we are in public

I never knew the word no could be said so many times in 1 day lol

"Don't lick the dog"

My son was 3 when we got our dog & would always try to lick the dog back?

"Yes, the dogs' penises do flop around when they run..."

To my dad: "Stop saying b$tch to strangers!" (He has show dogs and is referring to his female dog, but to non-dog show peeps, he just sounds like a rude weirdo)

"Stop gagging yourself" made himself throw up once by doing that.

"If you don't like having your finger stuck in the toy hole then why do you keep putting it back on?" He'll cry then do it over and over again ?

"Stop sticking your finger in your butthole!"

"Stop trying to put stuff up your peepee"

"Please stop touching yourself"

"Keep your diaper on"

"No we don't poop on the floor!"

?? my daughter seems to spend a lot of time naked, she rips her clothes off the second I put them on.

Stop trying to lick my belly button.

My daughter is obsessed with belly buttons.

"Don't strangle your brother!!" -_-

"stop trying to lick the chalk"

Around the 5th time saying it I was ready to throw the damn easel and everything with it out the window ?

'No Harry, don't touch your willy yet it's covered in poo!'... I say this one quite often

Frozen horse poop isn't a ball

Kisses don't come with teeth

We don't put our friends in the oven.

"We don't eat paint"

We don't eat boogers.

Boogers are not delicious.

Please stop playing with that ladybug.

Before my daughter was born I said I felt like I was living in a frat house.

"Let's not tell your Bible Study teachers that your poop tickles your butt and makes you laugh."

"No I don't want your booger. Please go get a kleenex and wash your hands"

I don't know why every single one of my kids thinks I want what they dig out of their nose

"Yaaaaaaaay poopy!!" my son suffers from constipation so its a big deal when he poops

"please dont squeeze your testicles "

"Please dont eat mommys hair"

Thats just today alone

"Stop trying to stick your finger in your butt"

"No we don't eat food off the floor"

"Woody does not go in the toilet" (she carries around a woody doll from toy story)

"Your ear is not hungry" (she keeps trying to stick food in her ear)

We don't play with our penis at the table.

Don't touch your brother's penis, you can only touch your own.

Say bye to your poopy.

"Stop brushing your penis with my toothbrush!"

Every night in the shower ?

"Stop licking between your toes"

My son is 17 months old and for some reason he has taken a big fascination in his toes/feet these last 3 days. He will pick his foot up to his mouth and lick between his toes. About 10 minutes after I told him not to, he slowly brought his foot towards his mouth with his tongue out, then paused and stopped. It's like the urge is almost too much for him. Lol.

Stop chewing on the couch. He started when he was teething and has continued.

Don't put the pretzel stick in your ear

To one of my preschoolers today, "That's the biggest Woody I've ever seen." After he pulled a 3 foot tall Woody from Toy Story out of his backpack.

"Stop twisting your nipples!"

"Stop peeing on your floor!" He had taken his diaper off during naptime and as I went in to get him he was peeing through the slats of his crib onto the carpet. ?

"Stop trying to use the force"

?

I had to baby sit my 2 year old nephew today & he would dig in his diaper when he popped & said 'smell olate' (smell chocolate) ??

My sister never told me he did that, so the first time I failed for it as I didn't know where he could have gotten chocolate from.

"Hey, don't squeeze your testicles like that!"

Taco, I'm starting to think we are raising the same child ?

"No honey your baby sister does not have a skid mark on her boob."

"Yes you can help me put lotion on her boobs."

My son is obsessed with our cats butt too ? why are toddlers so strange?

Today I had to tell my son "Please get out of the sink and stop drinking from the faucet. You're not Felix!" He tries to do everything our cat does.. I got picture proof today though since my husband doesn't believe me.

Literally just had to tell my SIX year old to stop licking the dog ?

She saw him licking himself and wanted to help him. Ugh.

@rayleen my 19 month old is obsessed with our cat's butthole. ?

"Stop touching the cats butthole."

It literally became a problem every time he'd see the cat, he'd run straight for it. It came with lots of hand washing of course.

"Stop crawling away your covered in poop!!!"