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Michelle
cshell1982
Michelle ·Мама троих детей
Warning ⚠️ rant ahead... feeling sorry for myself ?

I just found out my best friend is pregnant after her first month trying. I’m having a hard time not feeling angry and resentful. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy for my friend and I know she and her husband will be wonderful parents. I’m just struggling with feeling sorry for myself. And I feel so awful and selfish for feeling this way.
15.01.2018

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You’re not a bad person. These feelings are normal and I think everyone who goes through infertility and IVF struggles. I have difficulties with my SIL and she doesn’t understand at all what we’ve been through, so it goes. Just do what is best for you and find people who can have the journey with you.
20.01.2018 Нравится Ответить
i was the same way. me and hubby had been trying 6 yrs. nothing. my friend pregnant first month she came off birth control. i pretty much avoided her most of the pregnancy i still feel bad about that but i just couldnt handle it emotionally. luckily i dealt with my feelings by the time the baby was born. hang in there
19.01.2018 Нравится Ответить
cshell1982
Michelle ·Мама троих детей
Thank you all for your encouraging words. I’m still feeling super sorry for myself, but my husband and I are trying to be as positive as possible. This whole process has really been tough on our marriage, but it has also made us realize we wouldn’t want to go through this hell with anyone else. And it has also made us realize how truly blessed we are to have our daughter. We were so lucky to be able to adopt her as an infant 4 years ago. And regardless of what happens I love that little girl with my whole heart.

When I spoke with my friend I told her that I needed some time, possibly a few weeks, to process. And she was totally understanding and wanted to know what she could do to help me because she knows how hard this struggle has been. I truly have a great friend and hopefully I will be able to be strong enough to be there for her through her pregnancy. But ugh it still hurts that she was able to get pregnant on her first month trying.

Also we have decided that depending on what the results from the testing following my D&C last week, we are going to try for another FET as soon as we are able. Hopefully this spring. And I pray I’ll have my rainbow by the end of the year. ?
16.01.2018 Нравится Ответить
Agree with all these ladies above. Totally normal. The journey we take is a tough one; emotionally, physically, and psychologically demanding. Hang in there, your time will come. Sending hugs!
16.01.2018 Нравится Ответить
Completely normal. My sister got pregnant in middle of me doing ivf and after miscarriage to guy she knew for 3 months. I did not handle it well but I took time out and when I was ready to cope I engages and could be happy for her. She was a perfect sister and never told me things about pregnancy unless I asked. Your friend seems a good friend. Take the time out and be sad/angry and go through the emotions. Keep doing IVF. You will get there.
16.01.2018 Нравится Ответить
I know exactly how you feel honey, I gave birth to my son at 35 weeks sleeping after going through icsi. 5 weeks later my best friend announced she was pregnant, I was devastated to say the least. She had her healthy son a week befor Christmas and to be honest I have seen him once as I find it really hard xx
16.01.2018 Нравится Ответить
Your not a horrible person. I was in the same situation three of my best mates were all pregnant at the same time. It broke my heart but I was happy for them.

Best thing I did was keep my distance from them and re focus my mind back to my treatment. That really helped me.

I’m now 10 weeks pregnant with twins.

It will happen for you just stay positive and happy.
15.01.2018 Нравится Ответить
I have been feeling the same way today. My sister just had the first grand baby in my family in December right before Christmas, she is younger and was not trying as long as we have. It was really hard for me to get through it. Don’t get me wrong I was happy for her, but I wanted it to be me, wanted it to be my turn. Today was one of those days again and I have to remind myself that God has a plan, keep the faith and that it is okay to experience the emotions, I just can’t give up. I will be lifting you up as I cant imagine the struggle with the miscarriages. When we get to hold our miracles we will look back on this day and know that it was worth it!!
15.01.2018 Нравится Ответить
I went through a similar experience and it sucks! Don’t ever give up even if it means more money.... you will be blessed:)
15.01.2018 Нравится Ответить
You are not a horrible person. It’s normal to feel this way. It’s not like you’re not happy for your friend. Cuz we truly are happy for them. I think we are just upset and feeling it’s so unfair for us. Frustration!! I had someone ask me one time if it hurts my feelings when others announce their pregnancy. I said no. I’m happy for all the couples. But sometimes I do get sad that it wasn’t happening to us. I keep reminding myself God put us through this journey for a reason. Hindsight is 20/20. Have faith.

Just last month I met up with one of my besties. Her sister was pregnant and now so is she. And I was 10 wks at the time and decided to share. They do not know we went through IVF. But they do know we’ve been trying for quite a while. When she was sharing her story about finding out she also tried the first month and super surprise yadda yadda. I couldn’t help to feel annoyed and resentful. I was happy for her and the fact we can go through this together. But the day I found out IVF was our only option I had to mourn he fact that we won’t get those “surprises.” She also said how scared she was when she found out she was pregnant. When she asked me how I reacted I literally said “well we’ve been struggling for a long time and when we found out we were just finally relieved”

I went home kinda upset because my first thought was wow how inconsiderate of her to say that she only tried the first month she got off the pill. Then I looked at what my DH and I’ve gone through to get to where we are today. Financially yes a huge toll. But it really help me open my eyes how well we work together when we want the same thing in our lives. Going through this infertility journey I’ve found out how strong our relationship is and looking forward to the challenges ahead of us. I guess why I’m trying to say is try to Look at what this journey has given you.

And you will be a mom one day. I pray that your next transfer sticks. You’re not a horrible person. Natural to feel the way you feel.
15.01.2018 Нравится Ответить
If she knows everything that you’ve been going through I’m sure she will understand. Every pregnancy announcement that’s not your own is hard. I can’t even imagine it being someone so close to you. I think it’s perfectly fine to feel sorry for yourself at least for a little while. Lots of prayers for you during this difficult time.
15.01.2018 Нравится Ответить
cshell1982
Michelle ·Мама троих детей
I should also add that I explained my feelings to her and she was 100% understanding. And I told her I was so happy for her and that I hoped she would understand if I needed a little space. She is such a great friend and I really hate that I’m feeling this way.
15.01.2018 Нравится Ответить
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