Do you really think the way you are raised

Hmmm...I was opposite. I wasn't much of anything in high school....I drank, skipped school, and didn't have sex until I was 18. It summer after high school, a month before I started college.

My parents were very relaxed with me but me as a person I didn't feel I was ready for sex until I was 18 but that was me! And my morals alone nothing to do with my parents And I'm still with the person I had sex with to this day never been with anyone else. I think you can only do what you can with your children to the best of your ability but in the end everyone is different and if they are going to have sex they will.

Abstinence isn't the only way to stay away from pregnancy and std's

I think it does have an impact even though it won't or hasn't for everyone. My dad raised me by himself after gaining full custody of me at 20 years old. He was honest and open with me and I knew that abstinence was the only way to stay away from stds and pregnancy. He made me feel like he was the only man that I needed attention and love from and it stuck with me. I had boyfriends but he was always there for me when I would come home crying after being broken up with because I wouldn't have sex. I waited until I was almost 21 and engaged to have sex. I had so many opportunities to do it from an earlier age but I couldn't shake the fact that I could end up pregnant. So even though it won't work for everyone, I'll teach my kids the same way, with honesty and openness in hopes that they make good decisions.

I was raised with be a virgin til you marry. Don't even kiss. For it'll temp you to go further. A real relationship can't happen high school. So don't bother dating. Was still on birth control by 13.

I was AP courses in 90% of my classes since the 10th grade. In dance, horseback, and debate. I was a 3.0 student. College bound. I still had time to myself to have sex at 17. Get pregnant at 19. Get married at 20 to my high school sweetheart. Guess what we are still married at 26.

A child is going to make what ever choice that they do.

I think obviously it CAN affect when you have sex, but that's obviously not always the case. I was an honor student, graduated with a 4.0, took honors classes, took a CNA class offered through our vocational-technical program in my off periods, played sports, sang in the school choir and church choir, and baby sat during summers while still playing sports. My parents were VERY involved and ALWAYS pushed me to succeed and better myself. And what happened? I had sex at 16, with my bf at the time who was also in honors, involved in a church youth band, and played football who's parents were WAYYYY involved and pushed him. It happens.

Parents can talk, parents can be involved, but the biggest part of this falls on the teenagers decision making.

Involved parents, good grades, extracurricular activities don't always equate to a teen that won't have sex. Just as the opposite doesn't always equate to a teen that WILL have sex.

Obviously the parenting plays a major role in the thoughts and ideas that are initially put into a child's head, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it will stop anything from happening. Just my opinion.

Are you serious. You are going to tell me that absolutely no one in your high school honors classes was having sex? Lol did you ask everyone individually or is this just your asinine assumption? I was in honors classes in high school because I was smart, not because I was responsible. I wasn't only having sex with my boyfriend after school, we probably smoked a joint and had a beer as well. I didn't share that with every student in my honors classes either, so if we had went to school together you would never have known. I guess I've got two points... You don't know what your classmates were doing in their free time. And just because you are book smart as a teenager in high school, well that doesn't mean you won't make mistakes like having sex, unprotected or otherwise.

Being raised as a Christian affected how I viewed my rape and very much so affected how I viewed my sexuality. It doesn't make my experience invalid.

People with prior sexual abuse have a skewed view on this. Their choice was taken away and that can lead to a change in the way they act or react to sex.

I know.

Here's my $.2. I was raised in a conservative Christian household. Went to private school where I was taught abstinence and there was a giant emphasis on "don't you want to gift your future spouse someday with your virginity?" I was 14 when I was raped. I never said a word. I had a very skewed idea that somehow I had lost my value as a woman, a person and future wife by not protecting myself enough. I was so ashamed I let myself go through years and years of pain and fear. I didn't lose my "virginity" willingly until I was 18 to my daughter's father. The way I was raise had a lot to do with my sexuality and still does, i can't do certain things or positions with Dh because of the trauma. I do want to say though, I was in honors in high school and those kids were having just as much sex as kids in non honors.

Im finding this hard to put into words but I think that the kids in honors classes and are focused on instruments and whatnot aren't just so super focused that they don't think about sex so they don't do it but those kids are usually the goofy looking ones that no one "cool" takes interest in. Not always but I think the majority of the time that's what happens so they kinda just have to wait until they blossom or start taking an interest in their own looks and until others mature and start thinking brains are sexy too. That's when people actually want to date the smarties. Cause I know plenty smart people who were nerds but were always sad they weren't "cool" enough to date. I even fell into that my first few years in high school. The brains aren't usually considered hot and thus not bangable. Sometimes not even because they aren't pretty but because no one notices them.

Most teens are gonna wanna do it eventually. Blame the hormones but the way you raise them will tell you how responsible they'll be when the time comes and how open they'll be about it.

I was in AP classes, had dual college credit classes and taking a semester at a community college my senior year. I still had sex and had a baby my senior year in high school.

My parents educated me on birth control and set their expectations on an ideal age (after high school) to have sex.

I was a dumb kid who swore she was invincible. But sometimes I think I did things like that to gain a little freedom. My parents were really strict.

I got sex talked all the time told id be in trouble if I even thought about doing it ... Parents are strong Christians .. Guess who ended up pregnant at 14 ... ✋? behind the mind of a teenager you'll never really know .. I promise that .

I was on the honour roll and I still had sex in high school lol

I was one of those AP literature girls who was having sex regularly. My parents were not aware of it and would have died if they knew. I had straight A's, played sports, and was active in clubs. My parents were very involved in my life. I had a bf and they just didnt think we were having sex. We were supervised but were stil allowed to go on date. Dates start with getting in a car ?

And now I am a high school teacher. I see it all the time. The children having sex come from all different backgrounds. Saying only kids from "lower parenting homes" is absurd. Any child can surcumb to temptation. The parenting only goes so far once peer pressure is involved.

People like to play! (Lol) No shame. I wouldn't be furious if my teens had sex.

My husband was raised in an evangelical household with a father who was a children's pastor. He played sports, was in band, church, boy scouts, etc. He also had sex at 14. I was in honors classes, so we're the majority of my friends. I was one of the last ones to have sex at 3 days after turning 16. The majority of active girls in my church were also sexuallyactive as well. Every year one ended up pregnant, and often their mothers and fathers were very active in the church as well. Strict household, relaxed, I saw no difference in the people I grew up around.

Teenagers are, like it or not, their own people and will make their own choices. While a parent can try to guide them, ultimate their choices are their own.

Honors classes, strict curfew, honest mother. I still had sex as a teen.

It was always beat into my head to not have sex until marriage. That it would be awful and ruin me emotionally. I lost my virginity at 16. My parents were pretty strict and I still found ways to have sex all the time. Its unrealistic to think that you will for sure keep your kid from having sex. I hope to have an open relationship with my children so if and when they choose to have sex they know they don't have to sneak around. I want them to be able to come to me to ask questions, get condoms/birth control. I don't ever want to make my kids feel ashamed for making these decisions.

My mom told me I had to wait until I got married, she would go on about looking a certain way to people if you ended up getting pregnant young and people might think you are some type of slut.

At my school it seemed like every one was having sex. Kids that didn't do well in school kids that got A+'s and A's.

I personally wanted to make my mom proud but knew when I find the right person I was then going to have sex for the first time.

I really think it's a personal choice does that teenager what to have sex now or wait and some don't want to wait one of my friends from school planned when she was going to have sex, as soon as she turned16 the next day she had sex with one of her male friends, she wanted to be the first one in our year to do it

I also used to think when I was younger (and still do to an extent) that some people are just naturally promiscuous and enjoy having sex with different people and as long as they aren't hurting anyone by doing that then I think they should be allowed to make those decisions. I don't think judging someone by how many people they've slept with/ whether they did before they were married etc is an effective was of judging someone's character.

Sex isn't a dirty thing that should be frowned upon, people should be allowed to enjoy it whenever they feel they are ready to and with whoever they feel the need to (as long as no one is getting hurt obviously)

I was a good kid, straight A's, played sports, honor roll student, participated in clubs and band and chorus, the whole nine yards. However once I hit 7th grade and met DF, a lot of that went down the toilet. He most definitely was a bad influence on me. I began smoking to impress him, I started dressing differently, I stopped hanging out with my old friends, and once we started having sex (I was 13) it was only a year later that I got into drugs.

My parents never had the "sex talk" with me until I had sex and they found out. It never crossed their minds. I had a screwed up childhood with my mom, but my dad kept it together and managed to shelter me from a lot of her bull s*** until he left her. Idk, they tried I guess, but I still ended up where I did. So I suppose some of it has to do with parenting, but a lot of it has to do with peers and society's pressures. I think that's an important talk to have with your children as well, maybe even more so than the sex talk. Because I educated myself on contraception, I took care of myself in that regard for the most part. But the pressures of growing up and drug use and partying.....none of that was ever talked about with me. My parents were oblivious and I wish they weren't. I wish I had guidance from someone to tell me that I was going down a dangerous road and the horrible situations I would eventually put myself in. Would I have listened? I can't say for sure, but I would have appreciated the effort either way at some point down the road.

Sorry for rambling lol.

Neither my husband nor I waited until marriage/being with each other to have sex and neither of us have ever had an std. We have both always practised safe sex and got tested before we stopped using condoms.

I think teens will have sex if they want, doesn't matter they're upbringing. I have divorced parents and neither of them had a sex talk with me but I was involved in a church and wanted to wait til marriage because I had been taught that at church. My now husband has always been involved in a church and his parents were very strict on waiting til you are married. That being said we didn't wait til we were married to start having sex. I was 17 he was 16. We were both involved in church and marching band and I was in indoor drumline and we both had jobs so we had other things to keep us busy and still did it.

I grew up with a very diverse group of people. One of my best friend had zero structure, her mom was an alcoholic and drug addict. She lived between houses and had nobody to hold herself accountable to. She was a virgin until marriage.

One of my other friends grew up in a religious house, with involved parents, and she was having sex by 15.

I even see the diversity in my own family, both my sister's lived with their mother in their teen years. She was a drug addict and promoted sex and drugs.

My oldest sister had sex young, my other sister waited until after graduating. Then me who was raised in a completely different house, with very involved parents had sex at 15.

Honestly, while I think how a child is raised plays a part, how the child feels is the biggest factor.

Some kids who grow up great want to rebel, and act out. Some kids who grow up in s*** situations want some form of structure so they follow their own rules, and hold themselves to a very high standard.

The child's personality is going to be the biggest factor in any decision they make. We as parents can only guide them, they will either agree or disagree.

My parents raised us to wait until marriage. It's crazy that we all did too ? in H.S sometimes it's tempting but I knew I wasn't ready for that.

But if your educated in protection before you have sex then you should be able to avoid std's

Also, you could marry someone who has an std

I didn't wait until I was married by the way and never got an std

@EmmaMarch

for starters, if my DH and I had waited until marriage, we would never have contracted any STDs. ?

I'm genuinely curious... Why do people think waiting until marriage to have sex is a good thing / the right thing to do

I have two teenagers daughters and they are right here reading this I asked them what are there thought on the comments, and my daughters agree with some and also think that it all depends on the kid, because my girls have friends that have bbys , and yes the girls are good kids and have awesome parents, that love and talk to them, but things do happen, I am lucky enough to have two girls that love to share everything with me, and I appreciate that from them, I've always been open with my kids, I started this parent thing as a teen mom and did not want the same for my kids, and this goes for my son also , even though he won't come home pregnant he can bring someone home pregnant, and my approach, many may not agree with, I'm a nurse and I've seen alot, so YouTube was my bestfriend, from the blue waffle to gonorrhea and warts they have seen it all, and don't want none of it lol, and they know even though mommy didn't want for marriage it is something to stride for, I'm not perfect nor are my kids, ask I can do is teach them , and trust that they I have given enough life skills to do the right thing.. With that being said,

I do have to comment on the "when my kids grow up , they won't " thing lol throw all that out the window lol Cause it doesn't happen like that lol, the kinda of teen I was had nothing do with how I was raised.. Lol good luck lady's

I think it has some impact.

I was straight a, top of my class, honors and AP, national honor society, swim team, captain of the golf team, youth group leader, dance team, amazing great parents who gave me an amazing life.

I still had sex. It happens

I was straight As, honor roll, national honors society. Three different varsity sports, worked part time and still had sex.

My parents were also very religious..

Also all my boyfriends that were still in school were that too.

I was ALL of that in high school....and still started having sex at 16. Although my parents never openly spoke about sex, they did a good job overall. Each individual has their own mind, & no amount of good parenting or influences can 100% determine or predict whether that child will become sexually active. You can talk until you're blue in the face, they'll nod & agree with you, & then in the heat of the moment, go do it anyway....they are teenagers. Even those who are in long-term relationships, & decide to have sex.....still teens with teen hormones & undeveloped minds.

I think that if my mom had me in activities and was more strict I wouldn't have been so focused on guys. If I was talking to a guy I'd talk to them rather than doing homework, I'd skip class for them, etc. I think if I was raised differently (how, idk) I would've put school first. And if I was more focused on school, activities I don't think I would've lost my virginity at 14..

I was raised to wait to have sex until marriage. But my father was very abusive emotionally and mentally. He was very hypocritical in Many ways. My mother is an amazing woman. But i rebelled a lot and had sex with dh. We're married now with kids.. But I think to a certain point you can prevent or help avoid your kids having sex before marriage or whatver your point of view is. But at the same time kids sometimes simply will not listen and will do what they want!

This is fascinating. I love talking about sex! Thank you for being open and sharing your stories!

I also feel that if you're really strict, they go after it harder.

Boundaries, absolutely, but controlling every single aspect and literally not allowing them to have any type of freedom whatsoever? ... goodluck

My mum was really lenient about it and I was so well behaved and have had hardly any sexual partners and wouldn't even kiss someone if we weren't together.

My friends that had a stricter upbringing literally went boy crazy as soon as they could and ended up having terrible reputations.

It was exactly the same with alcohol and low class drugs, I never drink and was never interested in clubbing because I was always allowed. I also tried weed once and my mum found out and made me smoke it until I was sick and I have never gone near drugs again, whereas my friends who were kept from all of that tried it and are onto stronger stuff!

Not saying there's defiantly a correlation between to two but I my experience if something is strictly taboo then it seems to create so much more rebellion

My mom has always been open with us about sex. I don't remember a time where I didn't know what it was. She was very strict about waiting, as well as making the right decisions in all aspects.

Both my older sisters rebelled badly and had sex early. I was an honor student, always involved in church, and I never rebelled, but I did end up having sex with my now fiancé. He's the only one I've ever been with and I believe that has a lot to do with my mom's influence. I didn't ever want to be the girl who had been with more than one person.

But, I also have to say that some of the most rebellious teens that I've ever met are preachers' kids. I think people are going to do what they want, regardless.

It is absolutely true that the way in which you were raised does affect your ability to make decisions (impulsive, hesitant, etc).

I have my doubts, though, about a student's level of involvement in school as it relates to having sex or not having sex. I was involved in after-school groups such as newspaper and musicals, had very good grades, was focused on my plans for college, had a social life, and still had sex with my then-boyfriend.

Hmmm I think it depends on the individual.

DH had a very quiet home when it came to sex stuff. His mother never had "the talk" with him or any of his sisters. She stayed clear of anything that would lead to that topic. That being said he didn't lose his virginity until he was 18 and finished highschool. He never went out and partied until after highschool. But his sister lost her virginity and did drugs in 8th grade.

My family was EXTREMELY open about sex, maybe too open so I was always curious. I lost my virginity and did the whole partying at a extremely young age. I can honestly say it was because it was just so freely in the air growing up it always seemed like something I had to try.

My parents raised me well. They always told me not to have sex and the consequences that could come from it. I had curfews, they wanted to know who I was hanging out with and where, they always had to make sure that the parents were home whenever I went to someone's house. I was an honor student and valedictorian for my graduating class, I played multiple instruments, I was involved in sports and extra curricular activities and I also did volunteer work but I still got pregnant at 18. It had nothing to do with the way they raised me, it happened because I decided that I was an adult and I wanted to have sex. I made my own decision, so I dont believe that teens have sex or get pregnant because they were raised poorly.

I was home educated. I was going to wait until marriage. I was not educated about how my reproductive system worked and I honestly didn't know where my V was. (I mean I knew it was "down there" somewhere) I could date at 16, but didn't until I was 18. My boyfriend kept pushing me until I gave in on certain things, because he wouldn't take no for an answer. Then one time he tried to get in my pants and I vehemently said no. He listened, thank God. I had no idea what he wanted down there. To me it was a dirty place to be only touched when cleaning. He eventually broke up with me (before I broke up with him). Then I got involved with a guy I trusted and really liked, things went at my pace and I learned through experience about sexual things. Eventually giving it up, because I didn't care anymore. My parents found out and begged me to stop. I told them I was an adult and I could make my own decisions and mistakes. Dad ended up calling the guy's dad to tell him "what his son is doing to my daughter". So we had a sit down with his family and laughed. Apparently, without my knowledge my dad sat down with the guy and said who knows what to him. He broke things off with me, which broke my heart and sent me running to another guy who became fwb. (No actual sex) then after a couple months guy #2 came back and apologized and I stupidly started sleeping with him again. I got more sick of him each time. I still hung out with guy #3 who begged me to be with him instead of #2. In truth both were abusive jerks. Beginning stages of abuse, but I didn't see that at the time.

Idk why I felt I needed both of these guys, as they used and manipulated me. My dad was a good dad, never abusive. A workaholic perhaps. He realized that when I was 17. My parents thought it was something they did wrong, it wasn't. I just wanted to what I wanted.

My now dh and I started dating 2 weeks after I was done with #2. #3 was upset, but after he met dh, he knew dh was better for me. (#3 is friends with both of us and loves my dh now, he has also matured a lot ). Dh showed me for the first time what it was like to be really loved by a man. I one time said to him that I was surprised he hadn't hurt me (physically) yet. He looked at me flabbergasted and said "you expect me to?!" It finally clicked that it wasn't normal. Being with dh made me shape up my life again, which for me meant getting back to God and my relationship with Him. This in turn brought dh around to eventually making his own decision to follow God as well. It was a process and through much of it, we still slept together. I remember wishing that he was my first. I could have saved myself so much baggage. But I don't think I would have met him if I hadn't made those decisions. After marriage, sex got even better. (Hooray!) to end this long tale, my mom gave me a book on sex after I got married. A little late for that lol. I took it upon myself to educate my sisters about what the female body and male body does. And when I home educate my children, they will learn about their bodies as well.

Let's just say my family is a lot more open about sex than is normal ?

My oldest brother didn't "party" until college. In high school he only went on supervised dates. Then when he went to college he slept around a lot. My middle brother didn't date at all in high school, except for taking girls to dances. He too went wild in college. My youngest brother hasn't dated very much. He tried having sex with one of his girlfriends and she broke up with him. He has a new girlfriend but hasn't been alone with her yet.

my dd is in highschool and I know she's still a virgin .some people she knows and is associated with.. not so much..and I know for a fact most parents are scared to have the sex talk and find it awkward...and if they do attempt the talk its always with negative connotations " "sex is gross or bad" "your a w**** if u have sex" etc......but because I taught and continue to talk to her about sex she's just not as interested or curious as some..she knows sex is not bad and in fact can be amazing..WITH THE RIGHT PERSON..I have shown and taught her both the good and the bad side of sex..pics of diseases..showed her how to use condoms and other methods PROPERLY etc....she's an honor student and focuses everything she has into sports and school....I keep her busy so she doesn't have the time to really get into trouble easily..and we have an amazingly open and honest relationship..she of course has had interest in boys and maybe a few "Boyfriends" but the guys she chooses are also not interested at the moment..I know that when the time comes she will come to me and that's all I can ask...be honest with ur kids..put ur pride to the side and have the talk no matter how awkward and weird it is..trust me they will appreciate the knowledge later..I never was given the talk..and things probably wouldve been so different for me...in the end your child will do what THEY CHOOSE to do...no matter how good of a kid they are...as long as u have equipped them with all the knowledge possible to handle whatever the situation u have done ur job as a parent ..studies have shown that MOST teen parents were never given the sex talk (I was one of them)..

I had a 3.5 out of high school, many awards, many honor roll, many AP classes, did varsity volleyball, and still had lots of sex with dh at the time in which I was 15 yrs old.

But I was smart about it, we used protection. And everyone thought of us as like the perfect example because dh was a good boy too. But together we were bad, very bad :) lol

I was raised by a single mother since age 1 if that means anything to anyone.

Aww Chickypoo thank you for sharing your story! It sounds like you were sexually assaulted. ? And when you were old enough to make a choice, you DID. You got out of there. That's the decision that defines you in my opinion. And that's amazing.

I think it just depends on the person. My parents always told me to wait until marriage, they even made it seem like it would be the worst thing I could possibly do if I didnt wait. They were a part of my life and strict. But I still did it. I've only been with one person though so the way they raised me to only be with one person has stuck but I knew that I only wanted to be with dh and nobody else.

Having good grades, volunteering, and having extracurricular activities won't stop them from having sex if they want to either. Just because they didn't tell you they were having sex doesn't mean that they weren't. lol

Do I think every teen is predisposed to just go and have sex at a young age? Of course not, but it's silly to think "If we push him/her enough and enroll them in enough stuff that they won't even have time to think about sex!"

Saying a teen has sex because their parents didn't push them enough is ignorant.

How do you know your 3 brothers waited as well ? Lol idk just seems kind of unrealisic to belive that your children will think and act the same exact way you did , yea the way your raised has in impact but still a teenager will make his/her own desision. My parents taught me the same thing .. I still had sex before I was 18 yea I knew it was wrong but I did it anyways lol

I had sex for the first time when I was 13. This is not something I'm proud about. Its probably the one thing in my life I would change if I could.

I was brought up by a single mother of 5 who worked her fingers to the bone. Shes 67 and still at it. I knew about sex from my mother and sex ed (grade4). We moved to the inner city when I was 12 and I got together with the wrong crowd. They knew so much more then me, introduced me to drugs, alcohol (which I hated and still do). I had some girls that were going to beat me up if I didn't drink it. Peer pressure at its finest.

It wasn't the greatest area to grow up. By the time I was 15 I was running around at all hours with homeless people. Before you say anything about my mother know that I would take off while she was at work or when I was suppose to be in school. I put her through hell and am so sorry for it. I would disappear for days, in the meantime she would report it to the police and spend her days looking for me. I was sexually active and am extremely lucky I did not contract a disease or get pregnant. I was having relations with street people that were adults. The eldest was 26. I didn't know then that they were taking advantage of me and my innocence is sexual matters. The first time I was to scared to say no, I was so scared I couldn't say anything, I was frozen with fear.

By the time I was 16 I was done with that life and stopped associating with pretty much everyone I knew. I got a job, went back to school and got my shat together. I am so lucky that I made it through that period of my life unscathed. I was with a lot of men. So many that I don't even know the number.

Normally on this app I avoid sharing info that is embarrassing to me because some can be very harsh. It took a lot for me write about this to others but I do believe that our circumstances and upbringing do have some bearing on our choices and how we dictate our lives. I'm not saying that it does entirely but it does have some bearing on how we make our decisions and choices. Please don't judge me for my past I am a completely different person then I was then. I pray to God that my children take after their father.

In all honesty my sister, brother and myself all had different views on sex. It was a very closed private thing in my house. My mom didn't even talk to my sister and I about periods! Lol. I was actually an over achiever and very busy in high school and chose not to have sex. My brother got his girlfriend pregnant while they were both in high school and my sister had alot more fun than I did.. lets just say that haha. I had sex for the first time at 17 almost 18. I was on the pill and (now hubby) and I used condoms everytime. I was so clueless when we did anything the first time.. I wish my mom had been more open and I hadn't learned the only snippets I knew about from my very promiscuous cousins haha. I plan on being open about sex education with my kids. I don't believe sex is dirty like my mom made it sound (which affected me for years into my marriage) and I want my kids to understand the consequences and that it's not to be taken lightly but it is fun LOL. Now.. well.. now after 8 years I'm definetly more well versed in the bedroom..

I knew plenty of honors students who worked who I would see at parties on weekends and I know they were having sex. My Dad put the fear of God in me about having premarital sex, and guess what, I did. The local pastors dtr and I were in the same grade and she had supervision like no other, totally got pregnant at 16. I think the best thing to do is to educate our children about safe sex and the consequences.

I think kids from all walks of life and intelligence levels have sex.. The honor roll kids, the kids in detention, the kids in the marching band, the C average kids, the football players, etc. the kids who attend church, the kids whose parents aren't present, the kids who eat dinner every night with their families..

Let's not forget about "that one time at band camp.."

Obviously everyone has free will. But I think the relationship that you have with your parents impacts when and how you decide to have sex. As well as the relationship they have with each other, and how they approach sex themselves.

My mom and dad both waited until they were in college to have sex - like me. My mom initially led me to believe she waited until marriage but later told me the truth. My dad was always honest. He was 19-20. It was with a girlfriend he'd been with for a year.

I agree with PPs that it's not always what you SAY as parents. It's what you LIVE. If you tell someone to wait until marriage, while you are single and sleep with many men, your word is not super convincing.

I think the teens who are going to have sex will have sex, and those who don't want to won't. Some will have sex no matter what, and some can be persuaded to wait, and some just won't.

I was in honors/AP classes, as well as my SO and we were having sex in high school. There were many people in honors courses who were having sex.

He was raised in a church going family, very strict parents, involved in sports, band, and Boy Scouts.

I was raised by a single father who was very lenient, easy going, and involved. I was also in sports, band, NHS, and volunteer work.

I was in all AP classes straight A's got a full ride to college and I was having sex with my bf! I was young when I started, but I never lost focus on what I wanted. I also volunteered acted in plays and was in a special program where I got to scrub into surgery. My point is its an individual case. My parents also had no clue I was sexually active.

Does it have an impact? Absolutely! Does everyone adhere to it? No! The beauty of free will.

My parents had age appropriate sex and relationships talks early and often, I volunteered with a local animal rescue fostering kittens from ninth grade on, my mom worked at my high school so was gone every afternoon and every holiday break...and I did not wait at all to have sex. Further, I don't regret the decisions I made at all, even more than a decade later.

I got straight A's. I volunteered as a young leader on the Duke of Edinburgh Award. I had hobbies and played sport. I had a boyfriend who I was with for 3 and a half years and I loved very much. We had sex when I was 16 (the age of consent in the uk). We'd waited three years before we did it so I was legally old enough. My parents were very open with me. I was on the pill but still used condoms because they made sure I knew how to be safe.

I don't believe being intelligent, doing extra curricular activities etc prevents you from having sex earlier. I do believe having open, honest, approachable parents will mean you are more likely to practice safe sex.

My parents raised me in a Christian home and we didn't talk about sex other than I wasn't supposed to have sex until marriage. It wasn't an option, and for a long time I was so scared to that I didn't. To me, it wasn't about saving myself for someone special, (although I did) I didn't have sex because I was scared of my parents, well mostly my mom. But eventually, when I was 17 I started rebelling and I had sex. I definitely believe it has to do with how you're raised. I want to raise my children to respect their bodies, but I don't want my children to be so afraid to mess up and be so afraid to talk to me that they go behind my back because that's what happened to me.

How do you know the people in your honors classes weren't having sex? They told you they weren't? Teens lie. Not saying all of them were, but I feel like you're generalizing here.

I was a straight A kid in honors classes playing varsity sports and had a strict home life with a lot of supervision. My parents went through my phone, I had an 8pm curfew, had to report in when I went somewhere....and I was still managing to sneak off and have sex at 17.

I think every teen is different. For some it doesn't matter how they were raised, for some it does matter.

How you are raised has an impact as an adult. Sorry, there's no shaking that influence entirely. Being raised a certain way doesn't guarantee any type of behavior 100% but it does help. What would be the point of any discipline otherwise. And everyone's been around someone raised in that manner lol.

My parents talked to me about sex and encouraged me to wait. I was in all honors and AP classes. And I still had sex throughout high school.