Child support I'm definitely going to talk to a lawyer as soon as I get settled in Virginia, but does anyone know about…

I don't think he would, even if he could. I feel like he wants the option to be involved later. And I would rather have the child support anyway, because I don't care if another woman feels like she doesn't need any financial support. I feel like it would be best for my son because I can spend all of the child support on his daycare and things he needs and use my money for bills, rent, etc and what's left over for him too. I want him to have the best and not want for anything.

Also, most states don't allow one party to sign over their rights without another person adopting. They have what is known as the bastard law. They don't want the child to become a burden to the states. Especially financially. It's what's in the best interest of the child, no the parents.

No he can not. I'm in Virginia I'm aware of our laws. Just because your family member did it oh so many years ago, doesn't mean laws are the same or it applies to our state.

He can sign his rights over as a father to the babys mother without another party! My dad did it to my mother without having another party to adopt.

@kait that is false. He can not sign his rights over unless there is another party to adopt. Also, in Virginia he would still be responsible to pay child support even if he signed his rights over.

If he wants nothing to do with the baby you can have him sign his rights over as the father then he will have no say in the child at all

Bnena, that's great to hear! He needs to pay up.

Va will handle it all if anything they would file through the state you conceived in va don't play when it comes to support

Even if everything is cordial between you guys i would still file. It's always best to have something legally binding. I didn't file when my son was born cause i kept thinking "oh of course he's gonna help out." Yeah right... guys aren't like us women, we give every cent towards our child. Men on the other hand, they have different priorities

Thanks guys! The info will definitely point me in the right direction and let's me kind of know what to expect. I know nothing will be set in stone until the baby is born and I file. I'm going to talk to a lawyer before though so I know my rights and what to do.

Just like another mommy said i get back pay from the date the court order went into effect which for me was august 1st so right now he owes me about $2000 cause he hasn't paid anything. My original order was 595 a month but since he owes me all that money from back pay it went up to close to $800 a month until he finishes paying what he owes me. If you're gonna file, file as soon as your baby is born

He also has a live in girlfriend that I never knew about ?. So I'm sure that has a lot to do with everything.

SistersMainPiece I also was reading that they usually won't be allowed to do it. I wanted to give it a shot anyway. He's not interested so it makes me think he wants the option to come and go as he pleases. He might just be saying he wants nothing to do with the child to try to hurt me. Either way, he's childish and not someone I want to be involved with any more than I have to.

@bri that isn't always true. In most cases the man is still financially responsible if he signs over his rights. A lot of states won't even allow a parent to sign over their rights unless there is someone willing to adopt the child. This prevents the child from being a burden to the state and the state having to provide for the child. It's also known as bastard laws.

Brittybaby I know that. I almost would rather have that. But he doesn't want to so he's going to pay.

Just FYI, If he signs away his rights he will no longer be responsible to pay child support

Op, you get back pay from the day the order went into affect. Recently I put in for a modification. My order was $315 a month. I filed in June. The order was modified in July I believe but he wasn't served until September. The order went up to $775 a month. So he owes back child support from July until September. So I get $968-1050 ish a month.

Valtril, are you going to get backpay?

My ex is in the Army currently in Oklahoma and i live in California. You have to file in the state you live in. It is easier when they're military but it's still a process. I filed back in May and still haven't received my first check.

Just give it time. You're still early in your pregnancy. He may end up coming around

Massgirl09, he kept saying over and over that he's not giving us anything but a check. So I'm like okay, I'm going to make sure you have to pay the most possible then lol. I really honestly can say I tried so hard to let him be involved and if he wants to, I'll still give him the opportunity later when the baby is born. But at the same time I don't want to let him come in and out and be wishy washy and hurt our child. I really don't understand him, my dad was great so it makes no sense to me.

File in Virginia once the child is born. The fact that he is in the navy makes it A LOT easier. Once you get a court order of the child support call the garnishment department and set up a income withholding deduction so you get paid automatically every month. Don't forget to ask for half of daycare expenses. My ex husband is in the navy and I'm pretty well versed on child support.

SistersMainPiece, I hope that's the case! If it is income based, he makes a significant amount more than me. We're both Navy, he's an E7 and I'm an E5. My BAH will be significantly less once I move to VA. And he gets special duty pays because of his job. I'm not even money hungry but once he started treating me like s*** , I figure he deserves to pay. I did ask him to just sign away rights and he said no for whatever reason. Probably wants to come around once the child is older and more fun.

From my understanding you would have to file in the state you live in. Child support is based on income. Majority of all child support guidelines are the same across the board. Filing California won't mean you would get more. I'm also in Virginia, so is my sons dad. The child support I receive is based on our incomes. If you file in Virginia, the state will contact California and get the ball rolling.

Only reason I would want to file in California is because he's being a dick and said he doesn't want anything to do with the baby I won't get anything from him but a child support check. So I figured I would get more money in California. But oh well.

I live in California and my sons bio dad lives in New York. My son was conceived in California. I filed in my state.

Child support will be established wherever you are living, doesn't matter where he is at, as long as you have the proper information to give them.

My child's father lives in VA and I lived in VA at the time my son was conceived.... before I had my son I moved to Missouri. I had him there and filed in missouri.. if you have any questions feel free to ask

Hi Shaina! I got an attorney with my first child but we both live in California but that's a good Q but I'm sure your attorney will guide you and let you know.