Last Name
Any single mothers give or plan to give their baby their own last name? The father seems to be up and down about whether he is going to be involved further than just a paycheck so I kind of think it would be more appropriate to give baby my own last name. Thoughts?
I gave my son his dad's last name and I now regret it. He's involved but it's a pain when dealing with daycare/schools or doing any kind of paperwork. I actually got audited by the IRS when I claimed him on my taxes the first time bc the last names being different raised a red flag. He always wants to know why his last name isn't the same as mine. I can't change it now without his dad's consent. I would put yours then if you have a change of heart down the line or if y'all get married you can change it.
I would give him my name if he is not really involved. Personally, I will give my last name as a second name and my husband's family name as the kid's family name or vice versa. It is more logical to have the mother's name as family name from a biological perpective, though: when a baby is born, you can clearly know who is its mother because it came out of her, whereas without modern technology, the father's identity is much harder to be sure of. This is why men tried to control women's sexuality during large sections of history (because they instisted on descendance being patrilinear).
Thanks ladies! I am pretty sure I will give the baby my last name. I just didn't want to look like a jerk if I did so but it does make more sense.
I say even if he wants to be involved give your baby your name. If dad wants to step up he can earn it. I gave my daughter her dad's last name bc we were dating and ended up breaking up when she was 11 months. He is still involved with her a lot (weds nights and every other weekend), but I do most (ALL) of the work so I really wish she had my last name :-(
My daughter (2nd child) has my last name - her dad is the father of this child as well. We're now living together, but at the time of my last pregnancy, there was very little communication until the end. He's a great father and I sometimes feel bad about deciding to giver her my last name, but I figure I can always change it if we ever get married. I kept it the same as mine in part due to some of the same reasons listed above - school/doctor registrations, etc.
I'm kinda of on the same boat dad is a piece of crap. I was previously married so I have My ex husbands name still bc it's my daughters last name and I want ours to be the same. Thinking I'll just name my next kid with this last name too I'm sure it will drive my ex husband and baby daddy up the wall but I want us three to have the same name.
My son had his dad's last name. Regardless of his dad being a deadbeat, that name still identifies DS with his family.
Regardless, if the father is on the birth certificate you can't change the child's name without their approval. So even if baby has your last name, say you get married in the future, you won't be able to change your child's name to match yours.
DS has talked about hyphenating his name when he's older to include DH's name. I'm glad he's connected to both. :)
Thanks for all the advice! I worry that his family will end up being pissed off in the end but I think it's the right thing to do since he is so wishy washy about being involved.
Definitely your own last name. I always said I'd never have a different name to my child and luckily got married before I fell pregnant, lucky because we weren't preventing, even though I was in a committed relationship I'd always stick to my own name. If your not in a relationship with the father then even more so. My nephew has his fathers name, my sister and him split before he was born, he promised to help raise him and be there for him but never did, he's only seen his dad 6 times and he's 14. It now breaks my sisters heart. She has another on the way and is not married but I don't know what she plans to do this time, I just hope she doesn't end up with more regrets.
I am not a single mom, props to you ladies. But my own opinion if it were me, would be to give your child your last name! I have several friends who mentioned what a pain in the butt it is that their last names don't match with school and daycare reasons! And plus the kiddo wants to know why they aren't the same too. :) good luck!
Am I wrong for telling my Bd that because we not Married my baby don't have to have his last name? He really got mad and told me I was project n ignorant. Crazy part is I was thinking about giving my baby his middle and last name
Is anyone not giving baby the fathers last name? Me and the father are no longer together and I was just going to give baby my last name.
Question for single moms who's baby daddies are not in the picture anymore - will you give your baby your last name or the fathers last name?
I have a question for all ypu single mothera to be... Are you ladies giving your baby his last name?
Definitely your last night, as if u put it in his name and he don't stand up and be a man then he still will always have 50% rights to the baby, your name he has no rights x