Kingsfordrak excellently put! Don't get me wrong, every parent is entitled to di whatever feels right for them and their child but this is just something I can't get on board with.

I don't see how ignoring a child who obviously needs something from you does them, or your relationship with them any good. Like you said there'll eventually be a lack of trust like you've witnessed with your inlaws and their kids.

Kingsfordrak thank you so much for your post it really puts it into perspective for people who don't get it. I never did the cry it out because really I can't take it. My daughter might still trick me with her crying (she's 20 months) but I still get her if she's doing more than fussing because I know her crying means somethings up even if that is just wanting to be held or sit near me.

I posted about "crying it out" once on FB...because I was so fed up of people telling me to do something that felt so completely wrong to me. I said something along the lines of...

"try this if even for a few hours...

you are not allowed to speak, write, or draw any kind of communication. Also no sign languarge or specified hand gesturing. You cannot do anything for yourself, including using the restroom, getting any drink/food, undressing/dressing yourself, or going anywhere outside of the area you are currently in. Ok, now try to communicate your needs to anyone around you. Can you do it? Can you express your needs without words or gestures? Kinda makes you want to cry huh?

Now tell me again why you want me to let my child cry it out"

Specifically my in-laws always had something to say about needing to let my baby cry, it never felt right, it still doesn't and seeing the relationship my hubby and his siblings have with their parents shows me they never instilled the trust that they would always be there for their kids. I want my children to come to me no matter how big or small the problem, or even if there is no problem at all. I want them to know I will always be their biggest support, and advocate.

Sorry I could rant all day about this haha

I know it's slightly exaggerated but I still think it puts it perfectly in to perspective. We brought these little humans in to the world and they depend on us. Crying is their only way of communicating with us. I'd rather a slightly spoiled, clingy child than a child who thought I didn't love them enough to comfort them when they needed it.

Wow just wow. Can you imagine? This is why I could never do the cry it out thing and I never will. My kids may be spoiled or whatever you want to call them but I know that they feel loved and secure in their home and family. Wouldn't change it for anyone or anything!