These are so hilarious!! In just laying in bed reading these!

Idk if this is funny or gross but I'll add it to the pile of stories.

While pushing my 1st daughter her head was coming out and all of a sudden I squirted blood at my Doctors face, he looked so grossed out Ahahaha and I told him "thug life, grab the baby and clean yourself later!"

And he asked "did you just say Thug life?" Lol

Damn it sucked to be him ahaha woops.

And I also pooped myself before that ahaha

P.s. I never got that haircut and my hair is slowly turning into one dreadlock as it has been in a bun for the last 3 weeks.

I was in denial about labor. Like, until transition I kept thinking it was false labor and would go away soon, I was refusing to call the midwife but my husband did anyway. I had planned to cut my hair off before the birth so I wouldn't have to worry about caring for it, and as I started to realize that my labor was real I was trying to make a hair appointment first thing when they opened before the contractions got worse. Omg how stupid. ???

I had a pretty fast labor. In an hour or less I went from a 5-6 to an 8. Doctor broke my water about two hours they said I could practice push I started pushing. My husband and nurse both told me to stop but I didn't. They pushed some button a bunch of nurses and the doctor came in. They prepped so fast. Lol... I got the head He told me to push again. I got part of her shoulder out and then she shot out. Literally shot out. I had so much amniotic fluid it got on the doctor, the floor, the bedding, my gown, and a pad they put under me for the delivery the one on the pad had so much there was two to three inches of fluid. There was literally two to three gallons of fluid on that pad. But seeing my baby girl fly out was crazy.

My daughter peed all over me the second she was put on my chest.

Not as funny but just crazy labor story. I had my DD right outside the L&D of the hospital in a wheelchair!

I had labored at home for several hours with inconsistent contractions. Like they would space way out and then some would strong and some were pretty weak. Finally I had one contraction that was harder than the rest so we headed to the hospital. Well when I got in the car and we started driving I went through transition, my water broke and I thought I might have the baby in the car! And our hospital is 5 minutes away!!! It went so fast!! We got to the hospital and my husband parked right next to the entrance but I knew I couldn't walk in. He ran inside, got a wheelchair and called L&D to tell them to send someone down. Luckily 3 nurses come running out. Within 2 minutes, I had the baby! I didn't even really push. It hurt too much to do that. I am thankful everything turned out okay. It was pretty scary! Afterward they wheeled me up to L&D and finished cleaning me and the baby up.

I pooped too several times and I had an epi so I could just smell it.

Also I while I was so deep in my contractions before the epi, I kept calling my nurse Samantha and her name was Judy lol.

Bump! I'm getting sooo nervous for labor so I need these stories! ?

Not really funny but quite embarrassing! So it was my best friend's husband who ended up driving me to the hospital. My other 3 kids came along for the ride but another friend was going to meet us at the hospital to take them. Anyways long story short I was checked into hospital but my friend's husband had to wait out in the lobby with the kids until they were picked up. Well my labor had progressed extremely fast and my son was born only 30 mins later (before the other person got there to get the kids). So now I'm literally laying there spread eagle with the baby on my chest while the doctors are finishing up... And along walks in friend's hubby with my stuff I left in the car. Oops! Lol. I'm sure there's a sight he wishes he could unsee lol. We all laugh about it now, even my friend (his wife) thought it was hilarious.

My third was really short labor & delivery (2hr 45min) and the midwife got there 10 min after she was born (we weren't expecting a quick labor like that) but the funniest moment in that labor was probably when I was on the bed I guess pushing a little and my husband was like "what are you doing??? Is that your water???" And I was like "no I'm just peeing a little" and he said "stop pushing, that's your water! What the heck!" (Midwife wasn't there so he was nervous), and I'm like "no" turned to my sis and said "just tell him its pee" (I Thought it was hah) and my sis was just like "yes it's pee" (nervous also haha)

My second a pretty funny moment was when I was starting to push on the shower and the midwife was squatting down and said you can push here and I was like "no I need to go to the bed" ripped open the shower curtain and it fell on her head (the shower curtain and rail) I didn't even turn and say sorry or anything just went to the bed

My first I was so over labor towards the end, no epidural but had to get induced(sat at 9cm with a piece of cervix in the way from like 3am until I had her at 730am - that they pushed out of the way anyway when I finally said im done, im pushing ! ?) anyway I was SOOo thirsty and they could only feed me ice chips so during pushing I was like give me some ice chips please (doubt I said please haha) my hubby was feeding them a tiny bit at a time with a spoon and after a couple minutes I was like "I'm SOooo hot" ripped the hospital gown off of me and grabbed the ice cup from my hubby and poured it all over my chest and I can't remember if the doc walked in at that point or he was already there. It was pretty funny to laugh at after?

I had an extremely short start to finish l&d, 2 hrs 18 mins, so something crazy was bound to happen.

What made me actually laugh while in the midst of contracting was having my water break and shoot all over one of the nurses. Poor thing lol. They are truly amazing people! ♡

I pooped too ? with my first I had a huge Chinese lunch like four hours before I was induced, my second I hadn't eaten all day but I still felt it coming out and even felt them wipe me lol.

With my first, I cried between pushes and asked if I could have a drink when I was done lol. With my second, I accidentally grabbed my nurses boob while I was pushing.

Omg bump lol! Can't wait to hear these stories!