Tara balenitis is actually an auto immune disease. They can get infections due to wee getting stuck there etc but that's a side effect of you get what I mean. Balenitis will always return but it can take years and years and it can happen anywhere along the penis and urethra although the urethra one is very less common.

My oldest child has it and had a circumcision at about 8 for it. And then had to go back and have his hole stretched .

Circumcision is horrible. To see my big son go through it and actually be able to voice his pain I don't understand anyone willingly putting there child through it for not medical reasons.

Anyway lucky we were dealt with by Royal children's hospital who were amazingly informative and we havnt had a problem since.

I have a friend who's sons foreskin wasn't fused to the head of the penis from birth! They wanted to circ (the doctors) not sure why tho i just know she didn't

^ unless your son was already fully retractable at age 2, your doctor is in the wrong! the only person who should be retracting the foreskin is the boy himself. Most boys aren't fully retractable until age 10, some even into their teens. It's normal! Premature retraction can cause pain, scaring, bleeding and it allows bacteria in. The foreskin is fused to the glans until it naturally separates over time.

Our pead retracts the foreskin when my son gets his check ups every 6 months and has done this since he was 2

I'm assuming the cream is steroid cream? My son has a very tight foreskin and is susceptible to ballenitis (horrible infection like, makes the penis bulge and hurts extremely bad to pee, my son got it at the age of 2) he's now 7 and he still has a tight foreskin but we used the cream on him when he was 3 to help stretch the skin out a bit so we could pull it back.

Our pead told us that if a boy hasn't startes to pull himself back by the age of 3 that's when problems begin. So we had to teach our son to 'pull it back' in the bath tub.

We also had to pull the skin back a bit go put the cream on.

If my son gets ballenitis again we will need to circumcise him.

I guess guys toilets have urinals so you're more likely to see it. I mean i still wouldn't do it unless he showed concern about it when he was older but yeh boys are weird

yea i think they do. all of my husbands close friends have all seen each others junk at one time or another. not in an inspection kinda way but just in the toilets and stuff. kinda a glance lol it is weird tho lmao

Lol weird alright! And yicky lol girls dont sit around comparing their vulvas

@tsv some of them really do, it's mostly the jocks though. They seem to enjoy showing each other their penises and comparing them, there was a group of guys in my class in highschool that would always compare their pubes, balls etc.. Boys are weird. :p

Do boys honestly get naked in front of their friends that much?

I would be contacting an intact friendly ped urologist. But for real, if he can pee and isn't in pain, he is fine. Your doctor should not have tried to retract the foreskin AT ALL! And I would not be worrying about him retracting any time soon. The average is 10!

i agree with u getting a second opinion. personally for me its not just an issue to consider in adult hood. what about in tweens and teens when bullying is at its highest, having to stand next to the other boys at the urinal. i know that superficial reasons arent the most important but its important to enjoy school to be able to do well and to finish. the things i was bullied for i still want to change and yes i love myself but if i had the money id do it all in a heartbeat.

my son has a mole near his eye. its quite big. ive spoken to him about getting it cut off. i said i have a mole that ive left alone and his aunty had a mole that she got cut off. its completely up to him if he wants it removed. he said that the kids at school dont like it but he loves it and it's soft lol. so even if u dont rush in now to do it, let him know as he gets older that the option is there

imo

Oh, maybe he was having an off day. The first time we saw him he was fine. He told us the possibilities and our choices, this time was such a different story.

Sounds like it was the same specialist.

He's normally pretty good with explaining things, even if he is a bit blunt with it.

Yeah, it was Maitland. The first time we saw him was in John hunter.

yeah! all I would have liked was a better explanation. 'Making it neat' just didn't quite cut it lol.

Was it at Maitland by any chance?

He may have just been trying to get a bit better look if it was. My kid probably made him over cautious lol. Sorry Noah if it was

But no he should have explain better 1. What he was doing and would achieve 2. Why he felt neater is a concern.

And that cream thing is just weird

That probably sounds about right reeny!

I didn't even fill the script. I was too muddled when I left lol.

I'd get that 2nd opinion before using the cream, doesn't sound like the effects of it will be undone once it's done & who knows, making it happen faster might make the whole thing worse!

Betnovate is a steroid, steroids often make the skin thin which is maybe why he wants you to use it?

To make it easier to retract or something like that?

I have no idea, I just know that steroids thin the skin so it could be used for that purpose (if thinning the skin is needed?)

Oh I would get a second opinion before I used it then. It doesn't sound right to put an eczema cream on a penis without eczema?? But that's just me.

I just looked it up and apparently it's for eczema.. So I have no idea how it's suppose to do what he said?

The cream is suppose to make the foreskin retractable.. He said if I use it I'll know what his penis will look like so I can decide if I want it done or not.

That's not a cream I have heard of, but lovely, he should not have pulled the skin back.

And if this cream is supposed to make the skin fall off, why does he still want you to get the procedure done?

Something is not right there. Please get a second opinion.

What an absolute idiot to try and retract the skin back!! You'd think being the doctor he is he would know NOT to do that!

I definitely think you should get a second opinion.

Also I've heard it's very very painful to get done when they are older and takes a lot longer to heal. So if you were to decide to get it done I would do it while he's still really young. Hope you get some good information from a good specialist?

Betnovate - sorry, I couldn't read his hand writing haha.

The cream is called Betnorate. He told me it's suppose to make the foreskin 'naturally' detach and become retractable.

Not retracting the skin is like rule #1 with uncircumcised boys so the fact that he was trying to retract is raises BIG flags, that's why I questioned everything he's said to us.

I agree, especially as an "older" mum, the doctor, in my opinion, should not have retracted the skin. The fact that he has given you cream (what was it may I ask?) suggests he knows he has, if nothing else, made it sore for your poor baby.

My personal opinions of circumcision don't come into this at all. My opinion of that doctor so though, so I would highly encourage you to get a second opinion and then make up your own mind. He is your son my love, and you will do what is best for him always.

@Ezmai, more underneath. Nappy off he pees straight out as normal.

I'm not here for a debate about what I'm choosing to do with my son. I've said it in many comments I'm not against circumcision. I was genuinely surprised at the pedi's practise which is why I'm here - ranting.

Macca can I ask when you say his pee hole is not on the tip. Is it more under or above?

Only asking as my little guys is under but the hole turns out is actually quite extended. Basically everything functions but turns out if we'd left it he'd end up peeing at right angles. This was what they picked up today

I'm in nsw Liz & both my boys were done privately at our own personal choice & out of pocket was only $130odd.. Medicare rebated the other $380 ish.

We also had to book in at 30 weeks pregnant to be able to get it done. He's completely booked out & has people travel from Sydney to him & all over nsw.

My mil is in child care & estimates about 50/50 done v not done, sometimes bit more or less depending on the year :)

No debate from me, just thought I'd share!

Wow really, I got told you had to pay private ( I'm in nsw)

Oh let me just confirm what I meant, in case I didn't put it very well

I don't mean a child could potentially be picked on for being circumcised or not circumcised, but if he has 'extra' skin on top of the normal fore skin (I don't know much about this problem but I have assumed it makes the foreskin 'sit' differently or look differently than normal foreskin but please correct me if I'm wrong) and other kids see that it's not just different to them but also different to the other circ/uncircumcised willys they've seen then it could cause him to be picked on

Ideally kids wouldn't be a holes but that isn't always the case:(

Yes. My paed has said he now only does about one a month when he use to do 3-4 a day. As he said, boys use to be cut as a religion thing and for hygiene however hygiene standards have increased it makes that point practically mute. Also studies have shown un-cut men have more nerves and greater sensation in the head of the penis as its covered by the protective foreskin.

However for medical reasons it's still performed and doesn't harm the child/adult

(I have researched this a lot as my son may need to have it done for medical reasons)

For anything other then medical reasons circumcision is now considered "elective enhancement surgery" which is why it's not covered by Medicare and you have to pay for it. Like any other enhancement surgery "boob job, nose job"

I thought so too, Mrs_JT.

Ladies can I just confirm, I read somewhere that the amount of boys being circumcised nowadays is going down... is that not true? I'm not meaning to offend anyone, so I apologise if I do but I'm genuinely curious.

A few of you ladies were talking about the worry of looking different from others as being 1 reason to have a penis "neatened up". The boys in my DHs family aren't circumcised, my nephews aren't circumcised (even though 1 of their dads is) & quite a few friends with sons haven't circumcised them either. I just assumed by the time they got to school there'd be half in each basket if you know what I mean lol

It's all good. He will be fine, just the thought of what they said they will do makes me squirm

Oh Ezmai, I'm really sorry to hear :(

Thanks ladies, I'm definitely going to get a second opinion. If it needs to be done, I'm okay with that, I just need to know it's for good reason. ♥️

Definitely get a second opinion, the doctor should give you the facts, not try and push you in one direction or the other

In saying that and also playing the devils advocate, although it might only be for looks.... No one wants to be different from their friends

All it takes is going to the toilet at the same time as a bully for jokes, nasty stories, rumors etc to start. And once it starts it might take years to stop:(

Boys are funny about their boy bits and just like we don't want to look different to our peers when we're growing up, neither do boys, even if their bits 'should' remain private and inside their pants

There will be lots of times when your son grows up that he'll be in the change room with other boys naked (if he plays sport) and showers afterwards etc. and we all know how sensitive men are about their buts, even as grown ups

Having spent today sitting at the hospital for medical repair of mild hypospadias(spelling) I'd definitely get a second opinion.

I now have to take my guy back in 2 weeks cos after they knocked my son out they found other issues that need to be addressed which will be a 3 hour surgery. They weren't able to see them prior to him being knocked out.

I wouldn't get him circumcised just for the appearance, that's purely cosmetic. There's nothing wrong with it looking "different", it's not like everyone can see it.

I understand that your against circumcision but it's his penis, I would prefer to get my son circumcised than have it "look" a bit different. Dr didn't do well but I think it's definitely something to consider

I have the option of getting my son circumcised if medically needed (he has one kidney and a kinked tube) but my paed is very pro-choice and pro information.

I was of the mindset "he was born with it why cut it off" as I didn't have anyone to really talk to about it. (Circumcision gets really heated debate)

If medically needed it's covered by Medicare. Not if its just to "make it look neat"

Id be getting a second opinion. And my pead has never retracted the skin on my now 2yr old! I'd be pissed!

I definitely understand, well, okay.. not having a penis I probably don't.. really, but I'm not against the idea of circ.. Unless I don't see it necessary..

If I raise him to love himself and all his 'flaws' it might not be such a big deal? Idk ?

Edit: and it's not like the penis is something you go around showing to everyone anyway? (Well I sure hope not ?)

Ok I'll play devils advocate here lol, I can see you not super keen on the idea of the circ, no dramas, but what about if he has a odd looking penis when he's older because of it? I know functionally it's no worries, but purely from an appearance stand point? Definitely worth a 2nd opinion from a pead urologist if you can find out to see if they agree, but maybe it could be worth considering getting it done if a non biased dr agreed? You boys & their penis's... They're all pretty obsessed by them haha

That's what DH and I said.

I said it might turn him into a gentleman, only showing it to a girl he truly loves ? oh I'm a mean mummy ?

Yeh i understand from a grown man's perspective but then if he wants a circ done when he's an adult he can get it and take some bloody good painkillers after to cope

Yes, he's the doc that does the circumcision. He said himself it'll function properly, and he's obviously still urinating fine. He was genuinely only concerned about how it would look.

I mean, from a guys point of view, I can understand the need/want to have a "normal" looking penis, but oh well, at least it's going to work properly ?

Yeah, it is extra foreskin. Basically the tip of his penis is lower down the shaft (but not that low, hence why it's only mild)

He explained it that it'll look like a broccoli head when the skin does retract. ?

Okay, definitely will get a second opinion! ?

If he is not getting infections and such why make the foreskin retract? Does that doctor do circ himself? If so i would definitely get a second opinion as sad as it is circ is a money making area and obviously if it makes him money he will promote it. The foreskin may retract a tiny bit at his age but should not be forced back at all that's what causes infection etc

It sounds like he has extra skin than the usual amount? Is that what you mean? Maybe he's thinking that the extra skin may look funny later? Not saying that's a reason to do it, but maybe that's what he's thinking?

Sounds like he is very pro circumcision and trying to push it onto you. I'd be mad too, especially retracting it ???

Thanks, glad to know my mama instincts were somewhat right.

He asked for our opinion on circumcision, so, his words, "we can have a discussion on the best solution for you guys and to respect your decision" then sat there and pushed circumcision to 'neaten it up' and so it doesn't 'look so messy' aargh. ?

Second opinion from a urologist that is intact friendly.

Obviously he is after the $$$. Being intact is not "extra" skin. It's the biological norm. I would put in a complaint.

Sounds like he's pushing you towards intervention. You are the parent and have opted for no intervention unless medically warranted, he needs to respect that.

Thanks girls.

Clo, I'm definitely not against circumcision, "your baby your decision" and such lol, if it needed to be done then I'd definitely jump on board, but you're right, the way he was wording it was just so bad.

Maybe I'll ask my GP for a referral for a second opinion. ?