Pretty angry with SO
My SO works a lot. He has the day off but won't get out of bed. Our son dearly loves him and misses him so much when he's at work. Today would have been a great day for them to spend some time together. I have to go to the store to get a few things: milk, diapers, toilet paper, you know very necessary things. My son has a cold and I don't want to take him put if I don't have to. It's almost 3:30 now, and SO has been asleep since 11pm last night. I woke him and told him I need to run out and to watch our son while I'm gone. He said he'll be up by 5. That's unacceptable to me. He's whining about how tired he is which I understand since he works a lot, but he's been asleep for almost 18 hours now. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and can't tell you the last time I got even 4 hours of sleep in a night between being pregnant and my son still not sleeping through the night. Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
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I am in a similar situation with my DH. I understand where you're coming from and I do get frustrated about the same things. My DH has never slept that late unless he's sick but we don't get much time together and our daughter misses him a lot. I get frustrated with him but then I feel ridiculous because he's exhausted and I would be too if I worked his schedule and he's working his ass off so I can stay home while I'm pregnant and hopefully after the baby gets here. I know how pissed you are I get the same way but if everything else in your relationship is awesome I would say try to put yourself in his shoes and he's working his ass off for you. If he did that every day off I would talk to him about it though. I'm sorry it's such a tough situation :(
I really do understand that working is exhausting. I never complain about not having "me time" or anything like that. I don't even get to shower in peace anymore lol. I never mind it, either. Becoming a parent means sacrificing so much for your children and I fully accept that. However, I only wanted a single hour to run to the store and get some things we needed without taking my sick little one along.
I would just let him sleep. My kids father works 2jobs and when hes around all he does is sleep. It kills me that my daughter wants to spend time but her dad is just to tired im 39 weeks tomorrow and understand not wanting to take baby out when sick but him being the bread winner things just has to he done by mom. You wouldnt want him to loose his job because he is to tired at work to function because you wanted to leave baby with him. Honestly the best way is for you all yo figure out a schedule where 2days a week he has to sacrifice some sleep to spend time with baby. Im working on that now. Its hard but I would rather money in the bank and needs being met than any other way. Not saying what you feel is irrelevant because its not I completely understand but you all have to figure out some schedule even if he wakes for 2hours than goes back to sleep, that has been working for my family so far.
Night shifts are a completely different ball game. I've worked my share in the past and they definitely exhaust you like no other. He hasn't been working nights though, just long days. He still gets around 6 hours of sleep a night, uninterrupted. I'm understanding to a point. I didn't even try waking him until he had a full 12 hours of sleep. I'm an adult, I can deal with not spending time together, but it's heartbreaking to see my son go knock on the door and say dad because he knows he's in there. He just turned 1 so he doesn't understand that dad's tired. It's been a frustrating day. He may have tomorrow off as well, that all depends on if he can get the morning shift covered. I guess I'll just wait and see what happens tomorrow, but he definitely knows that I'm very unhappy with him right now.
My husband works a lot, and on his days off he usually spends one full day sleeping if he's lucky enough to get two days off and the other he spends with me. I used to get angry until i stopped working at I would tag along with him at work, he works night shifts, 12 hour shifts. Let me tell you I've never experienced exhaustion the way I did after going to work with him for a whole week, 6 pm to 6 am. I felt bad for getting mad at him in the past because even after sleeping a normal 8 hours after being up all night I was still exhausted. I mean we don't have children yet so I understand why you're upset, but if he is working a ton he probably is really tired. Maybe try talking to him and make a compromise. My husband and I did that when I started getting lonely. He would wake up a bit earlier than normal and we would go out together every time he had a day off.
I will never understand why some mean think on there day offs they are entitled to long naps and being lazy. If a sahm or a working mom acted like that. She would be called lazy and told she's being a brat. Yeah everyone deserves a break every now and then, but being a adult and needing a break isn't a excuse. to act like your responsibilitys no longer exist.
My otherhalf works away 3 weeks at a time in the mines. He flies home and arrives at 6am. He gets no day off during that time. It's just eat, sleep, work. He averages about 6 hours a night sleep, if he is lucky.
When he flies in he sleeps for about 6 hours the. He is up and ready to enjoy his week off.
What your otherhalf has done is ridiculous. Make him watch your boy while you go out for a day of pampering yourself!
His job can be frustrating but it's not that physically taxing, as I did the same work before I had my son-and I did it while I was pregnant with him. He manages a 24 hour convenience store and hasn't had a day off in about 3 weeks since staffing has been a nightmare for him right now. However... I worked for 3 months straight without a day off while pregnant. I worked up until the day I had a placental abruption and couldn't work anymore since I was admitted to the hospital.
I've cooled down since earlier, but I'm still very disappointed in him. He better be quiet while I'm sleeping tonight, and since he'll be up all night after sleeping all day, he better also take care of our son if he wakes up tonight.
@seaocean21 lol! That would wake him up for sure! He finally dragged himself out of bed. I asked him what was the point now? Our son will be going to bed shortly and I don't care to spend time with him anymore today.
@williamsbaby1 I don't even need that much sleep and it's been literally over a year since I slept through the night. I'd love if our roles were reversed even for one day, where I went to work and he stayed home with our son and did all the housework and kept track of the budget!
If there was ever a time when I actually got to catch up on sleep, then yes I would agree. I took my son shopping with me, but I needed to carry things inside which I can't do with him. I finally told my SO he needed to at least keep an eye on our son while I carried in what I bought. And he had the nerve to say I was being lazy by not both watching our son and carrying in the bags! Absolutely ridiculous. I asked him when he lost his mind to say that to me. Ooooh he is not being smart today...
I'd just let him sleep honestly... I do get how you feel though I've been in your position before and felt the need to nag but I fought the feeling instead and now my husband gives me sleeping breaks every so often too! Since I chose to give him a break he feels the need to give me one :D
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need suggestions....
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I think it really depends on how long your husband works throughout the week. My husband gets one day off every other week ( most days 13+ hours). He spends that entire day running errands. Usually me or my older dd are not home so it's just him and the baby. If he wanted to sleep in one day I would be okay with it. Esp if it isn't the norm for him.