toddler hates coats
So its a chilly New England day and my son (2.5 yrs) refuses to wear his coat, sweatshirt, hat. He won't wear anything thats considered outerwear. I even bought him a thomas hat and fire truck sweatshirt. Today when I tried putting it on he put his hands on his head and said no!no! no ! and thew himself on the floor. Hes never ever displayed this kind of severe tantrum and I was kind of shocked. Anyway, I took him out without a coat. Some people are telling me I need to show him whose boss but I would need to physically hold him down and I feel it would traumatize him. Or they say he will willingly put it on when cold, which I also dont think would be the case. I looked up his behavior on google and it's linking to spd symptoms. I've never heard of this , is there a way to get a formal diagnosis? What should I do in the meantime? Its embaressing taking him anywhere. He did not have this issue at all last year but its getting worst now. Any input is appreciated, I will check responses later we have to run errands.
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I will , the coat is too bulky- less hassle for me but not worth the risks. Im going to put him in a thin fleece jacket with thermals on for now.
Lil-lass - thanks for the suggestion those are so cute! Im going to order him one, they look super comfy.
@ging- thats a good idea! I'll try it, but it will probably be more effective when he's a little older and not seeing red any time he sees a coat. He picked out a thomas hat but apparently its for me to wear because he only puts it on me and cringes if I put it on him.
Whats odd is he doesn't even like me wearing coats or sweatshirts. He fusses and says mommy take off! I'm not sure where this strange coat aversion stemmed from but theres no place for that with the winters we have here. I dont get whats wrong with these toddlers ,I love being warm and cozy!
I just saw the rest of the comments and I want to thank you ladies who mentioned toddlers are stubborn, you have to make them wear it. The past few days he's been wearing his coat. Even if I have to wrestle it on him and carry him out so he cant unzip it and pull it off. Its raining out today and its impossible for him to keep a hat or hood on, so I have to think of something there. I think I reinforced his behavior before by allowing him to not wear it some times he threw a tantrum. So now I am trying to be consistent so he knows there's no chance I'll give in. Also with the car seats, how thick can the jacket be? His is average, not too poofy but the straps still had to be loosened to accommodate it. I dont mind wrestling with him a few times a day, but every time we get in the car is going to be tiring. I think I will look into some thinner but warm coats if its unsafe.
My oldest used to refuse a jacket. I told her that if she didn't want to wear it, fine, but she had to bring it - carry it, tie it around her waist, whatever. At least that way I wouldn't look like a neglectful parent. She has always been a warm body, and will put it on if she gets cold.
Honestly when dd used to pull that with me, I physically held her down and put her coat on her. There was no way that she could go out without a coat. Now she's almost 3 and it's funny because she knows she can't wear thick jackets or anything in the car so she will wear her jacket outside and instantly when we get in the car she takes it off. It helps though that this year she got to pick out her own jacket and it was never an option for her not to wear it.
Teach him how to put it on by flipping it. Stand with the neck of the jacket at your toes put both arms forward into the sleeves and flip up over your head. Soooo much fun! ??
Maybe layer the clothes more when you are getting him dressed. Thermals etc.. fleece half zip vs jacket. Etc.. let him pick out the hat and put one on you. This behavior sounds extremely appropriate and normal. I have two toddlers in New England. It's only getting colder. By the end of repeated efforts.. he may want to wear it in the summer ;) good luck. Stay with it.
My son hates wearing coats. He is almost 7 now and has never liked them. We need to remember that people react to hot and cold differently. Some people are just naturally hot. Others run cold. My son won't wear an actual coat till it's in the teens outside 20-40s he will do a sweatshirt. Right now I'm cold and he is in shorts and a tshirt. I guess my point is that when he is cold he will tell you. In the mean time keep a hoodie in the car.
@ lovey - I tried time out and rewarding his behavior even bribes like candy out of desperation lol. But once he realizes its on he unzips or pulls it off , hats and mittens are impossible to try.
And twos in general have been a trying year, I hope he gets over this. Im trying to pick my battles but also dont want a sick child all winter. Im going to try to tough out and be consistent. I managed to get his vest on for now. It was a struggle but it's on which is a huge step.
@ Wyo , I just read the list of spd and he doesn't meet the criteria.I initially thought he did because of his clothing habits but now I see thats not enough for a diagnosis. I swear the way he reacted made me think something else was up but if other children do that too maybe this is more common that I thought.
Yup, I'm with yah. Unfortunately for my daughter, I don't give her a choice. I'm lucky because we recently found sweatshirt she likes. She doesn't have to wear a hat, until winter hits. We live in New England too. It gets pretty cold, so you gonna get him use to mama not giving in the outside clothes. He can kick and scream and throw himself about, but the coat isn't going to hurt him. If you truly think he has spd, make a call to your pediatrician and they can give you a referral to someone who can evaluate him, and see what's going on.
My toddlers also hate coats. I'm going to be honest and say I will put the coats on them even if they're throwing a fit on the floor. It is non negotiable for us as we live in Wyoming where it is cold. The behavior is worst at the beginning of the cold season since they haven't had to wear them for a while.
Sometimes it's not a sensory issue and it's just a child being stubborn. Are there other clues that would make you think it's deeper?
This has been my experience with both my kids. During the summer, clothes are loose and don't bother them but winter clothes can rub and be annoying. We had our first rain a couple weeks ago and ds(19 months) literally dropped on the floor screaming like he was dying when I put pants on him. They just have to learn. I got him dressed anyways and we went outside. He pitched a fit for about 10 minutes and then got over it. He still hates his jacket but is willing to wear 2 long sleeve shirts so if it's not too cold I don't fight it. Dd was the same way but she 3 now and has grown out of it so I have hope. Good luck though, it can be very frustrating.
If it is spd there is a way to formally diagnose it but I'm unfamiliar with the process. My sister is a special education teacher and it's something she deals with often. It's not necessarily a learning disorder but some children with it have a hard time concentrating because of their sensitivity. Have you tried a reward for putting his outerwear on peacefully? I know some might say that's rewarding his negative behavior but it might help him to associate something positive with it instead of forcing him into it. You seem uncomfortable with the idea of holding him down and putting him in it and you know your child.
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Found this link about having a happy medium.