What an arse.

Your brother sounds like a jerk.

It's done. I called and asked one last time, to be sure. He hemmed and hawed, said he wasn't sure, then said they had a vacation planned for that weekend. Another lie.

I said I'd made a lot of efforts to get to know his wife and everything, and he said he was busy, that he has his own family to be concerned with (he threw that in my face before I had my son, too -- saying his parents and siblings came second, which I agree with, but he meant that he can't bother with us anymore), that they're always busy. I mentioned his wife hating me. He said it was that, too, and that I had said some stupid stuff and she wasn't forgiving. I have no idea what I said.

I said I'd made the effort, it was clearly never going to be mutual, and he agreed, basically. I said don't call me unless it's about our parents -- stop listing me as a reference, etc. Basically said the bridge was burned and goodbye. He was laughing it off the whole time.

I'm glad I did it. I'm bummed that this is the situation, but it's out of my hands. Whatever. Done.

Thanks again for the comments!

I would call. It's your brother, not some distant friend you're just going to phase out. I'd want him to know what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, and who's to blame for it. Maybe I'm a bîtch but i don't care if I came across as mean or aggressive, you can't just ice out family and use them for cash and references without consequences. You're not wrong to cut them out. Screw them!

I agree with Brit. Really no need to let him know. They'll get the hint when you stop making an effort.

As far as bill collectors go, let them know you lost contact with him. There's really no reason for communication between you and he over bill collectors.

If he asks for money later down the road, don't respond.

Saying you're done might come off as aggressive and forceful especially if there is an ultimatum (your wedding). Obviously he wouldn't know the ultimatum until after you made it clear to him, but once you do make it clear, the realization that you were giving him an ultimatum just kind of sucks.

If I were in your shoes, I would just retract my efforts and leave them be.

I agree with everyone else. I would call him 1 last time about the wedding. Cutting ties for good is something that need to be done. And if another bill collector call, just say you do not associate with him.

I dunno. Maybe I need the closure, maybe I need the catharsis of telling him it sucks that he's doing this & going along with it.

But either way, I really want it to be done with. Thanks for the comments, y'all.

He doesn't care about the wedding. Telling him you're done is going to stop him from listing your name or those places calling.

Put him on the block list, don't ask him if he's coming to your wedding cuz he ain't ..let it be..he'll need you before you'll need him. I wouldn't even reach out ,he'll get the hint..

Um nope I'd make it very clear that I'm done and to not ask us for money ever again or list us as references either.

I don't think it's childish and aside from not getting money from you it sounds like they could care less anyways. That's really sucjy I'm sorry to hear this but maybe after they will realize the mistakes they made and maybe not

Thanks, Caiti.

Britt, I agree. I want to be clear, though, because I have a different creditor calling me every other week. He still calls monthly about money. It's only ever because he wants something, and I don't want to deal with it anymore.

Personally... I'd just take the hint. It sounds like they don't really want much to do with you, anyway. (And it sounds like, NOT for good reasons)

So I would just stop calling. Telling them off or "making it clear" will only cause an argument and more drama. So I'd just stop contacting them. Who cares anyway?? They sound miserable.??

It's not childish. I would just tell them not to contact you any further at all.

glitch.