Thank you ems0.

I had a discussion with her father yesterday about it too. He asked his mom if she told his daughter if his mom said to pick him up, and his mom told him that she asked my step daughter who said she could pick him up and apparently my step daughter said daddy let's her. Which I knew full well that he doesn't because he too knows how clumsy she is. So she basically lied to everyone about who said she could pick him up which no one did so she is now not aloud to hold him unless she is on a bed with someone near.

Oh well if y'all don't think that's right. It's my child get over it.

It's annoying all of the comments that people made about your relationship with your stepdaughter.. Super ignorant when you were clearly venting about a situation regarding your mil. I would try to make it clear to your mil that it's unacceptable and that you're not yet comfortable with an 8 year old carrying your child across the house. I too wouldn't allow it. Sometimes I worry that I might drop my LO myself.. I would never allow an 8 year old to carry him.. Accidents happen, and I would be doing anything to avoid those accidents if possible.

My relationship with my step daughter is just as good as it has ever been. So that's not the issue. I let her do stuff for her baby brother all the time.

I myself just don't want her carrying him across the room. She herself told me that if he was holding her hair(she has long hair) that she would probably end up dropping him on the floor so she could get her hair loose. I talked to her about it after I cooled down.

So to sum it up after that comment from her, no I don't think she should be carrying him even if it is for a short distance. But hey what do I know

Iv recently been letting my 8 yo son carry my 3 mo baby girl around. Shes a wiggle worm also. He is now so much more interested in her since he gets to help. I know it freaked you out but maybe it would be a good way to let her start helping. Use it as an opportunity to show her the right way to pick baby up and carry him around. I have older half sisters (10 and 12 years older) my mom always let them help so they wouldn't be jealous. And I have an awesome relationship with them.

Y'all talkin about 8yo. My 4yo has been known to hold Karli or carry her to me. She does VERY good at supporting her head & neck. If your MIL was there that's who you need to be mad at. For all you know your step daughter coulda been following directions.

We're so over protective that we don't let nobody help. Ur son is fine, ur step daughters feelings are clearly hurt & you're griping about it on baby bump?

Sounds confusing to me...

I mean, I don't know you or your stepdaughter, so I wouldn't tell you what to do. What I think would be "punishable" would be that you specifically directed her not to do something and she did it anyway; however, it seems pretty innocent to me. She could just be wanting to help out and be involved. Maybe start with baby steps... Tell her you know she wants to be helpful, so how about just holding her in one place first, then work her way to carrying her places. I don't know... I'm just thinking of ways to help her feel appreciated.

I believe you have the best intentions, and you are protective of your baby, but be sure you are clear and loving to your step-daughter also! And (as I learned the hard way), you need to be specific with certain things when others are watching your kids. Your MIL may have thought she was allowed to carry baby. It may not have occurred to her.

My 8 year old carries my baby all of the time. I gave up the battle. If she notices Leah has a wet diaper she changes her. She takes her out of her swing or seat to do floor time with her. I turn my back and they are off and playing. It gave me a ton of anxiety at first, but she is careful and loves her sister. The two of them are so close, and Leah just brightens up when her big sister walks in the room.

Also remember all of the adjustments your stepdaughter has gone through. Divorce, dad married, switching houses, new baby sister who I'm sure she loves. Make sure you are giving her love and attention too. She needs it as much as the baby. If she gets jealous of the baby, it can cause huge problems down the road.

Deep breaths mama!!

You sound like you don't really care much for your step daughter. "She went off crying as usual".

I hope she's getting enough love and attention. Adjusting to a new sibling is hard.

She holds him but she full on picked him off the floor and carried him to my mother in law across the room. Which is different than just picking him and holding him.

You aren't going to like this response but my 8 year old holds her sister all the time and honestly it's a huge help for me. Should she have done it when you weren't there probably not but maybe you aren't giving her enough credit. I know I didn't let Big M hold Baby M for the exact same reason but one day I needed her to be picked up while I was dealing with Lil M and I realized I didn't give Big M enough credit either...